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A Stone for Mars, or 7 Ways to Curb Blame
If blame were not so dangerously pervasive, watching CNN would be laughable. I tuned in briefly to "Larry King Live" during the recent power blackouts in the Northeast and observed reporters going in the usual directions they think people want...
Reduce the Effects of Fears and Phobias with Hypnosis
How hypnosis can help you reduce or cure fears and phobias Hypnosis is very useful in the treatment of fears and phobias. Hypnosis is perfectly natural and allows you to experience deep physical and mental relaxation. Daydreaming is very similar...
Seven Sure-Fire Steps from Resolutions to Results
What would January be without personal commitments for change?
It's a chance for a fresh start! With the promise of a new year
before us, we believe that anything is possible.
Yet, all too often February can bring a familiar refrain...
The Heart's Awakening
The Heart's Awakening
Recently I heard a minister arguing with a radio talk show host
over whether it's right or wrong to remove "Merry Christmas"
signs from department store displays, which apparently some
major stores did this season in an...
Using Your Body To Strengthen Your Mind
For thousands of years, physical disciplines like yoga, Tai Chi
and Sufi Dancing have been said to increase mental and spiritual
powers. If this is true, how might one explain this, and even
better, how can we use this fact, practically, to...
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Weaving the Brokenness - Healing the Wound of Mother Abandonment
My daughter puts her arms around me, her brown eyes soft and
beckoning. Her rounded belly and motherly curves rest against
me, and for a moment I choke up. She is pregnant with a girl
baby whose middle name will be Joy like mine. She will be my
first grand-daughter, and my second grandchild.
I was named Joy by my great-grandmother, Blanche, the mother of
my grandmother Lulu, who spent much of her childhood living with
Blanche's mother. When Lulu was a young woman, she abandoned her
daughter Josephine. Josephine abandoned me when I was four years
old, leaving me with her mother. What a heritage!
When I look at my daughter, I see the images of my foremothers
in my mind--my beautiful but insensitive mother, my intelligent,
breaking-the-rules grandmother. I remember their terrible fights
and broken dishes that went flying when my mother came to visit,
and I think of my grandmother's deathbed, where there was no
forgiveness between them. I think of how my mother didn't want
anyone to know she had a child, and how I tried to win her love
until she died.
I was able to break the chains of abandonment, but I still carry
within me the memories of these passionate but disturbed women
whose genes I carry. I am the last remaining witness to know and
remember this heritage. We are the first mother-daughter
generation to hug, kiss, talk over our disagreements, apologize,
forgive, and have a loving relationship. For this I give thanks
every day.
My grandmother and mother didn't want grandchildren either. My
children were not welcomed, and my mother made it clear the few
times she saw my children, they were to keep their identity a
secret too. Her passing on the poison to my children woke me up
to how cruel and heartless she was. Over the years, I had
adjusted to her rejection of me, but when I saw her teach my
children not to call her grandmother, and to lie to the people
at her apartment about their identity, I snapped. I never tried
to get her to accept us again after that. I had to accept that
she never would.
This was another pattern. When my grandmother received the
telegram announcing my birth, she threw it aside saying, "So the
brat is born." Later, she took me in and raised me, but the
feeling that I was living on the edge of societal and familial
acceptance settled deep into my bones.
My story is only one such story about this
topic--mother-child
abandonment. There are many thousands of such stories in the
world, people who were abandoned as children. On my book tour
for Don't Call Me Mother--Breaking the Chain of Mother-Daughter
Abandonment, people listen with tears in their eyes as I read
about the loss and loneliness that I felt as a child, and they
cheer me on as I read how I fought to find myself and create a
better life. When they come to me afterward to tell me how I
have told a part of their story, I understand the tears are for
their own childhood losses that are being healed by hearing
another's story. It is gratifying to see that I can use the
painful parts of my life to give others hope about creating
lives of meaning and joy despite deep early wounds.
If you recognize your story in mine, here are a few healing
suggestions
Healing Abandonment
1. Remind yourself of these things:
a. It was not your fault
b. You were not a bad child
c. Your mother may not have realized how deeply this affected you
d. You deserve love
2. Create joy and beauty in your life now.
a. Gather supportive friends and loved ones around you
b. Feed yourself good food, and treat your body well
c. Give yourself birthday parties and moments of celebration
d. Create your own family, whether it is your own children or
friends whom you adopt as your new family
e. Appreciate each day as it unfolds
3. Find the help you need to heal your wounds
a. Find a therapist who believes that the past affects the
present and can help you work through it
b. Write your story--from your point of view all the way through
c. Illustrate your story with family photos
d. After you write your story, write the story of your mother's
life. Research her life as best you can. Illustrate it with
photos.
4. Use visualization, meditation, and prayer to get in touch
with the life you want to live, and the blessings of your life
a. Meditate in quiet surroundings each day for at least 10
minutes
b. Read books that inspire you to love and accept yourself
c. Share with others your healing story
About the author:
Linda Joy Myers' work has been praised by reviewers, healers,
and radio and television interviewers. You can visit her web
site at: http://www.lindajoymyers.com
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Learning Meditation Home Page |
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Wildmind provides a complete guide to simple meditation techniques. |
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Meditation |
An article By Dr Tom J. Chalko explaining the process and stressing the need for a spiritual teacher. |
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Details of activities, events, and classes in Wollongong University, Australia. Also offer a free online Meditation course. |
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Meditation, Home, what is meditation, types of meditation ... |
Meditation Meditation is an alternative therapy. It can be broadly classified under the mind-body medicine. More and more doctors are prescribing meditation ... |
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Sivananda Yoga - Meditation |
Introduction to the Official Web site of the Internationa Sivananda Yoga Vedanta Centers. Lots of information on Jnana Yoga, Bhakti Yoga, Raja Yoga, ... |
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Stress Reducers: Articles index |
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Zen Mountain Monastery: Zen Meditation Instructions |
Detailed instructions from Zen Mountain Monastery on how to practice Zen meditation. |
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Siddha Yoga path - Gurumayi - Swami Muktananda founder |
Under the guidance and teachings of Gurumayi Chidvilasananda, Siddha Yoga meditation students embrace the spiritual practices of yoga. |
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Meditation Handbook |
Survey of seven meditation techniques for beginners. |
home.att.net |
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Healing Music|Meditation Music|Self Help products |
Healing Products offers healing music for your Mind, Body & Soul at low prices. Use sound and music to heal and relax. |
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