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Good Fences Make Good Neighbors in Business and Life
Copyright 2005 Anne Alexander
If you say "yes" to most things that come your way, you may be a
nice person, but you're probably not a very happy one.
Establishing good boundaries is a big challenge for many people.
And it is an essential time management skill for creating a
successful professional life.
Here are a couple of key tools for establishing healthy and
effective boundaries:
- Set specific periods of every day when you take calls and
answer email. Don't become a slave to email, the phone or IM.
- Learn how to say "no¨ in a socially acceptable way. Use a
neutral tone of voice, not overly excited or defensive and not
in a depressed, eeyore-like way.
For example, if you're asked to serve on another board or
committee, you might say something like this: "I love what your
organization does, but I've made a commitment to spend more time
with my kids, so I can't take on anything more right now. But
thanks for asking.¨
- Get your boss to set up regular meeting times with you to
discuss important issues. Waiting around for answers you need
about a project is a time termite - an activity that eats up
your time and your life.
Here's a golden time management tip nugget: We teach people how
to treat us. If you are constantly interrupted by email or
instant messaging, for example, if you always respond
immediately, you are training the senders that you will always
be available, instantly. In some
situations that can be handy,
but most of the time, it is just a huge time termite that you
must learn to control or it will eat you alive.
This is the same with the infamous "open door" policy. While it
is excellent management to be available to your staff and/or
co-workers on a regular basis, it is insane to be available 8
hours a day (or 10 hours, or, God forbid, "24/7" one of the
worst concepts ever created). Teach and train your staff (and
your boss, if you have one!) when you are unavailable for visits
or interruptions (barring true emergencies) for critical project
time.
Question: If you jump every time someone calls, emails, IMs,
pops their head in your door or otherwise initiates contact with
you, what does that make you? Answer: a jumping bean. Not a
human being. So which are you?
Consider this article to be an official coach permission slip to
erect strong, healthy boundaries - a good, solid fence. As
Robert Frost said, Good fences make good neighbors. If it makes
it easier to blame your change of behavior on someone else, just
tell them your coach (that would be me) told you that you had to
do it! Remember, good boundaries will help you take back your
life.
About the author:
Ready to be a power professional? Get business coach Anne
Alexander's free 8 part e-course "Maximize Your Professional
Success," at
http://www.authentic-alternatives.com/maximizenow.htm .Warning!
For real people only. No fakers, please.
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