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Action points for effective grandparents
Being an involved grandparent doesn’t come without a little work. The roots of grandparenting are formed early on. It’s important to let your children know you want to be supportive to their family. Hear are some ways to get started. •Make up your...
Rainy Day Fun - Crafts For Kids
Rainy days can be so boring for a child…and just as hard on moms. So we give some ideas to brighten your day and chase their rainy day blues away!
Shadow puppets
In a room that is fairly dark set up a flash light so it is facing a wall....
Responsible Fatherhood - A Unique And Irreplaceable Role!
Something happened the other day that made me feel uneasy.
Yet I shouldn't have felt that way!
My wife had left for work and I was hanging the washing out
to dry. A neighbour from down the way was in his backyard
doing the same. 'Good...
The Importance of Hobbies
Consider that children who have an avid hobby or interest that they are passionate about are more likely to spend their money, when they have their own stash of it, on that hobby or collection and not on drugs or other potentially harmful choices. ...
What Divorce Parenting Practices is Best Appropriate for an Infant?
Is there such thing as divorce parenting practices that is best appropriate for an infant? I tell you, yes there is. In fact, it's not only for infant. At every stage of children's development, whether infants, toddlers, preschoolers, elementary...
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How Well Do You Know Your Child?
Do you think you really know your child? I don't mean know what he/she likes and doesn't like, but to know him/her well enough to understand his/her challenges, to appreciate his/her strengths and weaknesses and to help him/her develop his talents. Knowing your children can help increase their chance for success in the future and improve your relationship.
As parents, we are constantly looking for ways to improve out relationship with our children, discipline our children and provide proper guidance. How many of us take the time to get to really know our child? Some of us believe that our children are extensions of us and don't have their own thoughts, dreams and goals. When was the last time you sat down with your child to find out what they are thinking? The answers may surprise you. Children, especially during puberty, start to discover and develop their identity. They go through an emotional and psychological identity crisis and question and challenge their parents. At this point, children start to crave support and direction from their parents, but are not always compelled to ask for it. But how can you help your child, if you do not know their needs? Simple, ask them!
You are not a mind reader and your child probably will not voluntarily share his/her personal information with you. When you start to offer unsolicited advice, they feel that you are being intrusive or nosy and get defensive. There are two simple steps to getting to know your child. The first step is to listen more and speak less. Let your child direct the conversation and when they ask for your advice, offer it without being judgmental or critical. Lecturing and berating your child for poor judgment or unhealthy decisions will not help you to understand him/her more because you will not be getting to the core reason for the behavior. If you do not have the proper information, how can you give your child the support that he/she needs? By listening, you will be able to help your child understand how their choices and decisions affect their lives and direct them to making healthier and more responsible decisions. By being an active listener, you
learn to acknowledge what your child is feeling and give your child the information and advice that he/she needs.
The second step is to ask the questions that will create meaningful conversation. The typical responses to “How was your day?” are “Good” or “Fine.” Ask open ended questions instead of closed ended questions that result in one word responses. Ask specific rather than general questions that will stimulate your child to think. Show your child that you have a genuine interest in what is going on in his/her life. Don't force this process, let it come naturally and soon your child will respond. Ask casually and soon your child will start to volunteer the information. Find out who influences your child. Even ask tough questions such as, "How do you feel about our family?" The point is not to judge your child's responses, but to know what he/she is thinking or how he/she is feeling. Ask your child if he/she has any resolutions for this year. What was his/her biggest challenge or setback last year? Ask the questions without interrogating. Don't bombard them with questions or you may face resistance. Resolve today to spend a few minutes each day getting to know your child better. This is one of the most valuable gifts you can give to your child.
Recommended Further Reading:
Get Close to Your Teen Ebook
How to Have Fun With Your Child Anywhere
Teen and Child Personality Test for Parents
How Well Do You Know Your Child Survey
About the Author
Marie Magdala Roker is an Academic and Personal Development Coach and Certified Breakthrough Parenting Instructor who works with parents to help them unlock and nurture the personal and academic potential in their children and motivate their children to success. You can find her on the web at http://www.smartbeecoaching.com or http://www.successfulchild.com
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