|
|
|
How to Organize Christmas Toy Shopping
It's so easy to go overboard when shopping for kids this time of year. We want them to enjoy all the things we didn't have growing up. It's important to set limits though. 1. List all the children you'll buy for this Christmas. Don't forget an...
MORAL ARMOR'S Irrational Parenting, Part V
The Author of Moral Armor reveals the psychology of bad parenting; from why they have children to the ultimate parenting sin: raising aimless, fear-ridden, defenseless individuals.
Setting a Bad Example. Their illogical...
No Invitation Needed: Sacred Children Series - 3 of 3
I had my first two children on either side of my twenty-third and twenty-fifth birthdays. I had always assumed that by the time I was forty, I'd have a ton of freedom to finally push forward with my dreams of becoming a motivational writer and...
Parenting: Strategies to Get Your Baby to Sleep
As with most aspects of parenting, you're sure to come across a wide variety of opinions about baby's sleep! Friends, relatives and others have their views on how much sleep babies need, the best sleep routines and more.
Here are some practical...
Sign up for your child
The following article is offered for free use in your ezine, print publication or on your web site, so long as the author resource box at the end is included, with hyperlinks. Notification of publication would be appreciated. Title: Sign up for...
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Parenting Teens - Getting Your Point Across
Giving advice to a teenager is very easy; getting a teenager to take that advice is another matter altogether. It's not only a case of the advice 'falling on deaf ears', sometimes the teenager seems to go deliberately out of their way to do the exact opposite, that's when you know you've got a problem. So how do you go about giving advice to a teen?
The short answer to this question is "don’t". Now at first glance this probably sounds ridiculous, after all parents have more experience of life and most would agree that a parent's job is to pass this experience onto their children. But the problem with giving advice is that it's really just a way of maintaining control. We often cover it up by saying we know what's best in the situation, we have the experience and knowledge, but in reality what we're saying is what we want to happen, this is what we want you to do.
Adolescence is a time for learning to self-manage, to take responsibility for yourself and your actions. It's an essential process if your teen is to become a well-adjusted, fully functioning adult ready for the 21st century. And a fundamental part of the process is handing over control to your teen.
For most parents this is a really scary thought. They're concerned about what will happen if they do, that if they give up some control it will mean they lose all control. They're concerned about what their teen will do or what happens if they get it wrong, in other words they feel a need to protect their teen.
Firstly, handing over control at this stage is more about handing over responsibility and accountability on how to do something, not handing over total control. It's about letting your teen have an involvement in how to solve a particular problem, it's about teaching them problem solving skills. If you always provide the solution how will they ever learn to do it for themselves?
Secondly, your teen is very likely to get it 'wrong', to make mistakes and what is wrong about that? You’re teaching them how to self-correct, just as they did when they first learned to ride a bike and kept falling off. Making mistakes is a natural part of the learning process; more learning comes from making mistakes than comes from getting it 'right'. How much does it really matter if they don’t get it 'right'
first time or choose the 'best' alternative?
Finally, is your solution the 'best'? It's easy to forget that our children are different to us when thinking about a solution to a problem. The solution may be the best one for you, but is it the best one for your teen?
Giving advice by telling teens what to do is only one way of passing on a parent's knowledge, there are other ways of achieving the same outcome and with a higher likelihood of success. And it's how you pass on that experience that makes the difference.
How to Get Your Point Across
- Ask before you give. Always ask your teen if they want your advice before you start to give it. If they say, "yes please" then go ahead and have your say, if they say "no" respect their decision and keep quiet.
- Question their intent. If your teen has refused advice, ask them specific questions about how they’re going to handle the situation. Asking questions about smaller 'parts' of the problem is a way to at least get your teen to think about what’s involved.
- Provide information instead. Directing your teen to a source of information that's neutral allows your teen access to information without having to agree to your point of view.
- Give your teen time. Just because your teen hasn't given you an immediate answer to your question doesn't mean they’re ignoring it. Give them time to go away and think about the answers.
- Highlight their qualities. Reminding teens of their strengths will focus their minds on choosing options that make the best of them. Focus on their weaknesses and they're likely to lose confidence in doing anything.
- Listen to your teen. Often just listening to your teen without interrupting will show you that you don't even need to give advice; your teen already has a solution.
About the Author
Carol Shepley has been involved with teenagers for over 10 years and, as the parent of a teen herself, fully understands the pressures placed on parents and teens today. She now shares this knowledge and experience through her website http://www.growingupmatters.com so that parents can help their teens become resilient, resourceful and responsible adults.
|
|
|
|
|
| Pregnancy | Baby | Child | Mom | Advice Tips & Resources for ... |
| Parenting magazine has everything you need to raise a happy, healthy family. Get expert advice on child development, the best in baby names, our pregnancy ... |
| www.parenting.com |
|
| Pregnancy & Parenting: For Today's Mom - iVillage |
| From trying to conceive through your child's teen years, iVillage Pregnancy & Parenting offers up-to-date and informative articles, features, expert advice ... |
| parenting.ivillage.com |
|
| Parenting.org – Help and guidance for parents! |
| Answers questions about parenting and has resources for better parenting. |
| www.parenting.org |
|
| Parents |
| Expert advice about pregnancy, your kids, your life, and family time from the editors of Parents magazine. |
| www.parents.com |
|
| BBC - Parenting |
| Practical solutions to help with the challenges of everyday parenting - including expert advice as well as tips from other mums and dads. |
| www.bbc.co.uk |
|
| Parenting, Pregnancy,Conception, Babynames - Parenthood.com |
| Information regarding parenthood and parenting. Find the meanings of Baby names and useful articles on parenting. |
| www.parenthood.com |
|
| Parenting advice, child development and family reference at ... |
| FamilyEducation.com provides parents with educational printables, games, activities, parenting ideas, tips, family advice, and information on learning ... |
| www.familyeducation.com |
|
| MedlinePlus: Parenting |
| From the National Institutes of Health; Adventures in Parenting (National Institute of Child Health and Human Development) ... |
| www.nlm.nih.gov |
|
| The National Parenting Center |
| Support site for parenting. Dedicated to providing parents with comprehensive and responsible guidance from the world's most renowned child-rearing ... |
| www.tnpc.com |
|
| About - Parenting & Family |
| Parenting advice from moms and dads who know what's up. Whether your babies are still actual infants, or about to enter college, our Guides will give you ... |
| about.com |
|
| Positive Parenting - Main Menu |
| Debbie Critzer Positive Parenting is dedicated to providing resources and info rmation ... Welcome to Positive Parenting online! For our long-time readers, ... |
| www.positiveparenting.com |
|
| Parenting Tips and Information on Baby Care and Pregnancy. |
| This parenting and baby care resource center offers essential pregnancy, baby care and development information, tips, and articles. |
| www.parenttime.com |
|
| Parenting, Children's Health and Education, Family Crafts and ... |
| Parenting, Children, and Families - ParentCenter is the most trusted online resource for parents of young kids. ParentCenter offers free weekly newsletters, ... |
| parentcenter.babycenter.com |
|
| Parenting - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia |
| The term "child training" implies a specific type of parenting that focuses on ... Parenting measures can also be observational, such as the Parent-Child ... |
| en.wikipedia.org |
|
| Today's Parent |
| At Todaysparent.com you'll find a parenting community to call your own, with a library of information on all the ages and stages of your growing family, ... |
| www.todaysparent.com |
|
| Indian Parenting - The Definitive Guide |
| Comprehensive website for Indian parents with topics ranging from pregnancy to raising children, including articles on infertility, health and medicine, ... |
| www.indiaparenting.com |
|
| Exceptional Parent Magazine - Eparent.com - parenting those with ... |
| Magazine for parents of children or young adults with disabilities. Includes reports, forum, products links, books. |
| www.eparent.com |
|
| Parenting: information, advice and support from toddler to teenage |
| Parenting advice, information and support to help you with your family, from toddler to teens. |
| www.ivillage.co.uk |
|
| Parenting-QA.com - Parenting Questions and Answers For Parents in ... |
| All parents have questions about their children’s behavior, growth, and development. The challenges of parenting seem never-ending and constantly evolving. |
| www.parenting-qa.com |
|
| Parenting Teens - Troubled Teen Help Information. |
| Information for parents of teens, including troubled teens, parenting tips, teen education, and more. |
| www.parentingteens.com |
|
|