|
|
Are Your Children Growing Up Too Fast?
Each time our children graduate from one stage to another (i.e. crawling - walking, preschool - school, highschool - graduation) we as parents are excited and a little sad as well. We want our children to grow up, but we reminisce about the...
How Develop Your Child's Good Judgement
Good Judgement Children develop strong character by learning to think about and make sound judgments about what is right or wrong, good or bad. These are not always easy distinctions for adults to make, much less children. For example, it can be...
Parenting Is Tough - Make It Easy
Raising children and being a good parent is tough, you need every bit of information that you can find to help you develop effective parenting techniques and to make parenting easier. You need a resource that contains parenting tips and advice that...
Protecting Your Child’s Innocence
The following article is offered for free use in your ezine, print publication or on your web site, so long as the author resource box at the end is included, with hyperlinks. Notification of publication would be appreciated. Title: Protecting...
Visiting the Library
Libraries offer more than books. They are places of learning and discovery for everyone. Ask at the library about getting a library card in your child's name and, if you don't already have one, get a card for yourself. The Librarian Introduce...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
To Know You Is To Love You
How do you show someone you love them? Do you buy them expensive gifts? Spend quality time together? Make personal sacrifices just to see them smile? Dedicate a song to them? Write a love letter or note of encouragement? Become their cheerleader? Those are wonderful things to do but my question goes deeper then those types of activities, even beyond your romantic partner. Think about your parents, your children, your best friend, your sister, or your brother... anyone you love. How do you really show them that you love them? Reverse the question if you like - how do you really know if someone loves you?
The answer lies in getting to know them. To truly love someone is to care about them to the very depth of who and what they are, what they believe, what they like, what they dislike, how they respond under pressure. It's so much more than what's their favorite color? Who's their favorite musician? All time favorite movie? It's knowing that they don't like fruit flavors in their colas, no cherry or lemon cokes. It's knowing just what temperature she likes her bubble bath. It's knowing that he prefers wearing cotton and why. It's knowing the perfect birthday present when they didn't even know what to ask for. It's looking at each other across a room and sharing a private joke without saying a word. Loving someone is the ability to see past the polite response to "How's it going?" and knowing that they really aren't "Fine, thanks."
How do you get to that point? You watch them. You observe them. You ask them questions. You really listen to their answers. You figure it out. Why do you put so much time and energy into it? Because you love them. Because they fascinate you. Because you really don't have anything more important to do with your time. You are really truly present. You don't ever stop. How many relationships fizzle because we simply grow apart? We grow apart because we aren't paying attention to each other anymore. We are no longer connected.
Maybe you're bitter because your own needs aren't being met. Fair enough. It sucks to be in a one sided relationship. No argument there. Tell them. Tell them you feel ignored, unimportant, distant, like it just isn't special anymore. Tell your mother you miss being really connected and close. Tell your lover you feel like the two of you are running on autopilot and it just isn't that incredible close relationship that you once had. Tell your teenager that you hate the distance that's growing between you. Reach out afterwards and ask them to share their heart's secrets with you. "Tell me who you are. Tell me what you dream of. Tell me, do you still love chocolate ice cream with Oreos on the side for breakfast? Tell me what your soul's made of, and I'll tell you about mine." Then listen, really listen. Hear their answers.
Nobody can truly be close to me and not know that Melissa Etheridge sings to my soul. You can't listen to her song Talking to my Angels and not think of me. If you really loved me enough to know me personally,
you'd know that they'll be playing her song, This War Is Over at my funeral some day. You'd know that I long to visit Ireland and that I love fairies because I think they're our guardian angels. You'd know about "those two people" that I write these articles and stories for. You'd know what "the Winnebago Years" are all about. You'd know that when I'm really angry and losing control that you need to distract me with something logical to wrap my brain around and I'll suddenly start pulling myself back together. You'd know that lying is my biggest pet peeve.
What do I know about the people I love? I know that she doesn't drink caffeine anymore and always orders strawberry lemonades when we go to lunch. I know when he lies to protect me and when he lies to protect himself. I know by the look in their eyes, when my children are starting to get sick. I know why she keeps trying to become a vegetarian and why she fails at it. I know that music haunts his soul even though he's stuck working as a salesman. What would I know about you if I loved you enough to really get to know you?
Are we so wrapped up in ourselves, our careers, our own personal schedules and goals that we forget to really connect with our loved ones? When was the last time you really checked into the hearts and minds of those you profess to love? We all change, grow, evolve. Are they still the same people you fell in love with? How would you know? I'm not who I was fifteen or twenty years ago, or even the same person I was five years ago. Are you? Are they?
What's the greatest gift you can give someone? Your full attention and focus. Take the time to really get to know them after all these years. Fall in love with them all over again. Get to know them as if you've just met. Of course you have to honor their secrets, be loyal, don't use the information to play power games or to ever belittle them. That destroys trust. Use the information to pick out the perfect Valentine's gift, to plan the perfect vacation, to surprise them with a movie they've never seen but will love, or to simply bring them their coffee with the perfect amount of cream and sugar before they even realized that they wanted some.
It can be as simple as asking them, "Tell me about yourself. Tell me what the world looks like through your eyes." Create the little moments that say 'I love you' by knowing what 'I love you' looks like to them.
Copyright 2004, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow's Edge
Skye Thomas began writing books and articles with an everyday practical approach to life in 1999 after twenty years of studying spirituality, metaphysics, astrology, personal growth, motivation, and parenting. After years of high heels and business clothes, she is currently enjoying working from home in her pajamas. Go to www.TomorrowsEdge.net to read more of her articles and to get a free preview of one of her books.
Skye@TomorrowsEdge.net
|
|
|
|
|
Pregnancy | Baby | Child | Mom | Advice Tips & Resources for ... |
Parenting magazine has everything you need to raise a happy, healthy family. Get expert advice on child development, the best in baby names, our pregnancy ... |
www.parenting.com |
  |
Pregnancy & Parenting: For Today's Mom - iVillage |
From trying to conceive through your child's teen years, iVillage Pregnancy & Parenting offers up-to-date and informative articles, features, expert advice ... |
parenting.ivillage.com |
  |
Parenting.org – Help and guidance for parents! |
Answers questions about parenting and has resources for better parenting. |
www.parenting.org |
  |
Parents |
Expert advice about pregnancy, your kids, your life, and family time from the editors of Parents magazine. |
www.parents.com |
  |
BBC - Parenting |
Practical solutions to help with the challenges of everyday parenting - including expert advice as well as tips from other mums and dads. |
www.bbc.co.uk |
  |
Parenting, Pregnancy,Conception, Babynames - Parenthood.com |
Information regarding parenthood and parenting. Find the meanings of Baby names and useful articles on parenting. |
www.parenthood.com |
  |
Parenting advice, child development and family reference at ... |
FamilyEducation.com provides parents with educational printables, games, activities, parenting ideas, tips, family advice, and information on learning ... |
www.familyeducation.com |
  |
MedlinePlus: Parenting |
From the National Institutes of Health; Adventures in Parenting (National Institute of Child Health and Human Development) ... |
www.nlm.nih.gov |
  |
The National Parenting Center |
Support site for parenting. Dedicated to providing parents with comprehensive and responsible guidance from the world's most renowned child-rearing ... |
www.tnpc.com |
  |
About - Parenting & Family |
Parenting advice from moms and dads who know what's up. Whether your babies are still actual infants, or about to enter college, our Guides will give you ... |
about.com |
  |
Positive Parenting - Main Menu |
Debbie Critzer Positive Parenting is dedicated to providing resources and info rmation ... Welcome to Positive Parenting online! For our long-time readers, ... |
www.positiveparenting.com |
  |
Parenting Tips and Information on Baby Care and Pregnancy. |
This parenting and baby care resource center offers essential pregnancy, baby care and development information, tips, and articles. |
www.parenttime.com |
  |
Parenting, Children's Health and Education, Family Crafts and ... |
Parenting, Children, and Families - ParentCenter is the most trusted online resource for parents of young kids. ParentCenter offers free weekly newsletters, ... |
parentcenter.babycenter.com |
  |
Parenting - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia |
The term "child training" implies a specific type of parenting that focuses on ... Parenting measures can also be observational, such as the Parent-Child ... |
en.wikipedia.org |
  |
Today's Parent |
At Todaysparent.com you'll find a parenting community to call your own, with a library of information on all the ages and stages of your growing family, ... |
www.todaysparent.com |
  |
Indian Parenting - The Definitive Guide |
Comprehensive website for Indian parents with topics ranging from pregnancy to raising children, including articles on infertility, health and medicine, ... |
www.indiaparenting.com |
  |
Exceptional Parent Magazine - Eparent.com - parenting those with ... |
Magazine for parents of children or young adults with disabilities. Includes reports, forum, products links, books. |
www.eparent.com |
  |
Parenting: information, advice and support from toddler to teenage |
Parenting advice, information and support to help you with your family, from toddler to teens. |
www.ivillage.co.uk |
  |
Parenting-QA.com - Parenting Questions and Answers For Parents in ... |
All parents have questions about their children’s behavior, growth, and development. The challenges of parenting seem never-ending and constantly evolving. |
www.parenting-qa.com |
  |
Parenting Teens - Troubled Teen Help Information. |
Information for parents of teens, including troubled teens, parenting tips, teen education, and more. |
www.parentingteens.com |
  |
|