The phrase has been used for decades, by psychologists, therapists, A.A. types and the overall spiritually minded to describe how one should cope with impossible behavior." The original principle behind the concept, was to help the person who is being abused accept the circumstances and not have to live in a perpetual state of resentment towards their partner. You, as thecodependent (ie the one who is always hurt) is supposed to see your partner as "sick" and not blame him or her for their actions. You're supposed to love and care for the adulterer, batterer, gambler, manic depressive or alcoholic the same way you would someone who has the flu. Husband comes home drunk? Sober him up with cups of black coffee and a dose of your eternally burning, unconditional love. Boyfriend unfaithful? That's O.k., because you have unconditional love for him that will last for an eternity. Girlfriends rack up your credit cards again with her compulsive shopping? You'll take care of the bills because you're love for her is undying and unconditional and you've told yourself ""I'll always love her no matter what ...."

Those of us who have been there know that we can only comfort ourselves with the concept of unconditional love for so long until the relationship becomes too expensive, emotionally, socially and financially. This is often more serious then the kind of consequences we pay when someone is sick with "the flu." Plus lately, after talking to many clients, many of whom are still paying in one way or another for the irresponsible behavior of a full grown adult, I am starting to conclude that when

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Sam Steven's metaphysical articles have been published in many high-standing newspapers and she has published several books. You can meet Sam Stevens at http://www.psychicrealm.com where she works as a professional psychic. You can also read more of her articles at http://www.newagenotebook.com where she is the staff writer. Currently she is studying technology's impact on the metaphysics.