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An Introduction to Home Wall Murals
Wall murals are a creative way to decorate any room. Don’t be intimated. It is possible to paint a superb wall mural even if you feel like you are not an artist. Wall murals look great in children’s rooms, the kitchen, the bathroom, the family...

April is National Poetry Month
This article offes a variety of web sites to visit to learn more about poetry and National Poetry Month. Great for families, or for the writer seeking a little inspiration. Do you remember the joy of turning the brightly colored pages while...

Hereditary Illnesses
Many illnesses are hereditary. Knowing the medical history of your family could save your life or the life of someone you love. Families share many things such as love, happiness, hope, sorrow and memories but unfortunately they may also share...

To Tan or Not to Tan
Most of us are eager to have a golden tan for summer that everyone will admire but we don't often think about the dangers caused by tanning. To have a nice golden tan gives one the appearance of healthy attractiveness but is tanning healthy?...

Writing Your Wedding Vows the Way Poets Do
Let’s face it, not many of us have the kind of skills or experience to write truly poetic wedding vows. Or do we? Here’s the truth: Even if you don’t know Dylan Thomas from Bob Dylan, and you’re pretty sure T.S. Elliot was that guy who wrote the...

 
Sex, Lies, Affairs, and Relationships

Have you ever had a strong desire to have sex with someone other than your partner, and didn't know what to do with it? Maybe you've had an affair, but are scared to tell your partner, or you think s/he is better off not knowing. Maybe s/he already knows, and it's blown up in an ugly mess. You don't want to lose your relationship, and you don't want to feel stuck in this place either.

There's nothing wrong with feeling attracted, even strongly attracted, to another person. Some couples have fun sharing their stories of attraction and desire. Others just want to be open to all that they are feeling without acting on it, to see what they can learn about themselves. Sometimes, it's just fun to indulge in fantasies without worrying about what they mean.

But what about the situation when there is an agreement to be monogamous, and someone has an affair? How does this affect both partners? Does it mean the end of the relationship?

It's possible for a relationship to last after an affair, but whether it really heals or not is another question. It's very tempting to try to put an affair behind you, but the reality is that it will continue to surface in different ways in your relationship if it's not adequately addressed. When couples take the time to talk it through, usually many times, and offer true understanding to each other, they have a better chance of moving on in a real way.

Sometimes an affair is the begining of the end to a relationship that was already coming apart. Other times, an affair can lead to a breakup, when one partner falls in love with someone else.

If you are considering having an affair, or have had one already, it's important to sort through how you are feeling and what those feelings mean. Some people say it doesn't mean anything, but I think it always means something, even if it means that you and your partner don't agree on the monogamy issue. If you don't know, it might help to ask yourself some questions about the larger context:

* When, where, with whom, and under what circumstances do you want, to have an affair, or did you have an affair? What were you thinking and feeling at those times?
* What were you hoping to feel (besides turned on)?
* Would you say that there is anything missing or bothering you about your


relationship or yourself? Does the affair offset that somehow?
* What makes the affair or the person attractive to you?
* Is there something you need to learn about yourself or your relationship that will be missing, or was missing, by acting on your feelings?

When an affair is out in the open, both partners need to talk about what it means and how they feel. Some people who've had affairs describe the experience as having no impact on how they feel about their partner. Some experience it as a wake-up call, an indication of how they're feeling in the relationship, pointing to what is missing for them and what they want to see changed. Others see it as a huge mistake, happening at a time when they or their relationship was vulnerable. They wish they had never done it.

Sometimes affairs are a form of abuse, in which case they need to be seen in that light -- someone being abusive needs to take full responsibility and get help.

People whose partner had an affair usually feel confused, hurt, betrayed, and angry. For the relationship to last, their feelings need to be heard and understood by their partner, many times. S/he may have all sorts of questions in order to make sense of what happened. Her/his trust will need to be rebuilt slowly.

While affairs hurt relationships, so do lies and a lack of honesty. Often the biggest hurdle is being honest and facing not only your own feelings, but your partner's. No one wants to feel responsible for someone else's pain, but being able to be there for your partner in her/his pain is vitally important. A relationship can survive an affair; it can even grow stronger. But it takes both partners being gentle and patient (with space for anger), facing their fears and vulnerabilities, and voicing what is true for both of them.

Kali Munro, M.Ed., is a Toronto psychotherapist with twenty years experience. She also has an online practice. She has published many self-help articles about relationships, sexual abuse, lesbian and gay issues, body image, and other personal growth issues. Her website has lots of free articles, self-quizzes, self-help tips, inspirational quotes and poetry, and free e-books and e-newsletters. Check out her website at www.KaliMunro.com


 

Poetry.Com: Free Poetry Contest, Poems, Publishing
www.poetry.com/ - Similar pages
 
Funny poetry for children
Includes funny poetry, contests, lessons, and poems about school.
www.gigglepoetry.com
 
Poets.org - Poetry, Poems, Bios & More
Organization presenting poems, biographies of poets, historical and thematic poetry exhibits, events calendars, discussion forums and contest information.
www.poets.org
 
Poetry Archives @ eMule.com
Educational resource dedicated to researching poetry. Includes an online archive of poetry by numerous recognized poets.
www.emule.com
 
Poetry Daily, a new poem every day.
An anthology of contemporary poetry offering new poems from books, magazines and journals currently in print, as well as an archive and daily news.
www.poems.com
 
Poetry for Kids - Funny Poems for Children by Poet Kenn Nesbitt
Features poetry for kids about animals, weather, and aliens.
www.poetry4kids.com
 
Poetry
Searchable archive of online texts from a wide range of recognized poets, both historical and contemporary.
poetry.eserver.org
 
Poetry
Website of the print magazine includes a weekly featured poet, information on current issue, subscriptions, and programs of the Modern Poetry Association.
www.poetrymagazine.org
 
Poetry 180 - Home Page
Home page of the Library of Congress Poetry 180 Project.
www.loc.gov
 
Poetry - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Article discussing the nature of the form, its history, terminology and the different traditions.
en.wikipedia.org
 
Poetry.org - Resource site for poetry and poets
Here you can learn about the history, meaning, and types of poetry, as well as terms ... And there is our selection of poetry from various famous poets, ...
www.poetry.org
 
Verse: Poetry Anthologies and Thousands of Poems. Bartleby.com
With thousands of poems by hundreds of authors, Bartleby.com offers one of the largest free collections of verse, poems and poetry anthologies on the web.
www.bartleby.com
 
About Poetry
Poets and poetry online including poetry festivals, readings, audio and video archives, contests, zines, word games and collaborations, haiku, and sonnets.
poetry.about.com
 
Poetry in the Yahoo! Directory
Explore the world of poetry, including sites about poets, collections of poems, and information on writing.
dir.yahoo.com
 
Scholastic.com | Writing with Writers: Poetry
Study the genre of poetry by taking part in step-by-step workshops with three of your favorite authors. Then have your work published online in our ...
teacher.scholastic.com
 
Poetry Magazine
International digest of world poetry. Features contest listings and discussions for poetry writers.
www.poetrymagazine.com
 
Poetry Archive
The Poetry Archive is an ever expanding archive of poets reading their own work.
www.poetryarchive.org
 
ETTC's new and improved Poetry Forms
Interactive Poetry Form Finder Testimonials Poetry Forms Lesson Plan Ideas ... Choose your poetry form from the list of links on the left. ...
ettcweb.lr.k12.nj.us
 
representative poetry online
www.library.utoronto.ca/utel/rp/intro.html - Similar pages
 
Boston Review | Poetry
Stephanie Strickland, The Ballad of Sand and Harry Soot (Second Annual Poetry Contest Winner) Jesper Svenbro, Rainbows (translated by John Matthias and ...
bostonreview.net
 
 

 

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