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Business Etiquette
Business etiquette is in essence about building relationships with people. In the business world, it is people that influence your success or failure. Etiquette, and in particular business etiquette, is simply a means of maximising your business...
Dealing with Difficult People
You know, this would be a great business if it weren’t for having to deal with people all the time… OK, so maybe I’ve exaggerated things a bit, but we’ve all certainly heard that saying before. Why does that sentiment ring true for so many folks?...
How To Start, Survive, and Finish Your Journey To Super Success
"The more you hate, the more you love." What an ironic statement. Whoever said those words must have been drunk. The bottom line is this: It is extremely difficult to like or love something that you despise. But what can we do to solve this...
Tips for Curing Bad Customer Service
Bad customer service is everywhere these days — unmanned front desks, surly servers, clueless staff, employees talking on the phone, and managers who refuse to acknowledge a customer. It’s no longer an exception ... poor service has become the...
What company does your business keep?
Copyright © 2005 Arun Pal Singh A man is known by the company he keeps. We have heard that phrase so many times. Our folks have cautioned us often with that in our silly childhood. Do we heed to that advice in our business? Where do you hang out?...
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How Effectively Do You Influence?
Are you aware of your influence effectiveness? Do you know
if you are using the most appropriate influence strategies
for your role, for your audience, and for the situation?
Are you able to use the appropriate influence strategies
effectively? These are questions that every leader should
address and answer.
We communicate to influence others. We are either on the
giving or the receiving end of an endless stream of
influencing, persuading, requesting, demanding, cajoling,
exhorting, inveigling and manipulating each other to further
our ends. Think about how many times a day you request
others to do things, seek buy-in to a strategy, encourage
greater productivity, suggest how people should think about
things, or offer thoughts on attitudes or behaviors others
need to change.
While there are a number of relationship management
abilities critical for people who want to be outstanding
leaders, influence is the core competency in the domain of
relationship management according to the Hay Group, creators
of the Emotional Competence Inventory.
Influence effectiveness depends on a combination of factors
including: choice of influence tactic, your skill at using
the tactic, your organizational power base, and your
personal power base. There are ten common influence tactics
that people can use ethically:
*Legitimizing – referring to or using recognized authority
*Logical Persuading – using logic to persuade the
influencee.
*Appealing to Friendship –asking friends for favors or
assistance
*Socializing – establishing rapport to find commonalities
and to build a connection
*Consulting – presenting a problem and asking for the
influencee’s input
*Stating – boldly and directly stating what you want,
believe, or need
*Appealing to Values – inspiring cooperation by appealing
to values, emotions, or feelings
*Modeling – setting an example for others to follow
*Exchanging – giving something of value to the influencee
in return for something you want
*Alliance
Building – building an alliance of supporters who
can help you influence others
Note that there are four common ways that people can and do
influence without integrity. These include: avoiding,
manipulating, threatening, and intimidating.
We have personality style preferences for how we perceive
and process information that predispose us both to use
certain influence strategies naturally and to be more
receptive to some than to others. However, each influence
tactic requires a unique set of skills, which can be learned
if you don’t come by them naturally. In choosing a tactic,
you need to know what the situation requires as well as how
and to what your listener responds. For example, does your
listener make decisions based on logic or based on
people-centered values? Do they value affiliation and a
participatory approach or do they respond more to legitimate
authority?
Influence skills include a number of verbal skills such as
asserting, probing, persisting, speaking conversationally,
and willingness to ask for favors. Yet, equally important
are non-verbal skills such as conveying energy and
enthusiasm, using a compelling tone of voice, using
authority without appearing heavy-handed, sensitivity to
others’ feelings and needs, and building rapport and trust.
As a leader, it behooves you to have an accurate assessment
of your influence effectiveness. You can do this best
through a formal 360-degree assessment or short of that, ask
your colleagues and friends for feedback, both positive and
constructive, on how they perceive your influence skills.
(c) Copyright 2003. Manya Arond-Thomas, all rights reserved.
About the Author
Manya Arond-Thomas, M.D., is the founder of Manya
Arond-Thomas & Company, a coaching and consulting firm that
catalyzes the creation of “right results” through
facilitating executive development, high-performance teams
and organizational effectiveness. She can be reached at
(734) 480-1932 or e-mailed at manya@arond-thomas.com
Subscribe to Emotional Intelligence at Work
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