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Facing Your Daily Stresses And Anxieties In A Women's World
Many women today have to deal with maintaining a family and also maintaining a career. This can produce a lot of anxiety and stress for the woman. As a result, here is a list of techniques that a woman can use to help manage their daily stresses and...
Find Your Soulmate
Soulmate. Once upon a time we wondered if we were ever going to meet our own. We ask if the one we are with right now is the one truly meant for us. There are just too many stories about people finding “the one”, their “match”, their “twin soul”,...
More than Mom and Dad
Love, love, love. It makes the world go round. It makes a family. So why does it seem the moment you have a baby, love, or at least your love life as you know it, goes right up in a cloud of baby powder? Let’s face it, you’re tired, you’re...
Rekindling An Old Flame
Dr. Nancy Kalish, a psychology professor at California State University, Sacramento, is the only researcher of couples who reunited with former sweethearts. Her book, Lost & Found Lovers: Facts and Fantasies of Rekindled Romances, 1997, is based...
The Dignity of Labor
I love artists, because I’m a wordsmith and they say things I can never say. Here are two of my favorite paintings about work, both by Caillebotte:
http://www.webstrategies.cc/caillebotte1.jpg ;
http://www.webstrategies.cc/caillebotte2.jpg ...
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Creating Conscious Relationships
Do you ever recall walking into a room and immediately feeling the heavy, lingering negativity after a couple has had a fight?
How can couples learn to manage those powerful emotions that can be generated between them?
To create a conscious relationship it´s important to be aware of the feelings that are created between partners, especially for intimate couples, because their combined emotions are greater than the sum of their individual parts. When couples become aware and learn to be mindful of the energy that is created between them, rather than focus on their individual differences, they are creating conscious relationships.
I`ve observed the tendency of partners to first go through the romantic phase of their relationship, where their combined conscious remains buoyant, lively and fulfilling. At this point they don´t perceive differences in each other. The feelings between these couples shines a bright light across the world and life is viewed from a beautiful kaleidoscope. During this romantic phase, couples project on their partner and the world a canvas filled with images of beauty, goodness and love. And this focus on the combined rainbow of beautiful colors catapults them into a higher consciousness.
Robert Johnson observed that falling in love is meant to be an initiation into a world much greater than the individual - it is an introduction to the ideals of love, truth and beauty that transcend ordinary life.
When couples begin to become aware of the differences and faults in one another, they fail to realize that their partner is a symbol and catalyst for the poetry of life. During the romantic phase they view each other in an idealized manner. But, months or years later, when they are entrenched in power struggles, their partner becomes a cardboard-cut-out on which they project threatening characters from their own past. Such perceptions launch soulless, automatic, rigid, right vs. wrong games that separate partners not only from one another, but from the positive transcendent of their combined consciousness.
Instead of couples wishing for a judge and jury to litigate their individual differences, they can develop tools to manage the potentially creative or destructive powers which often unconsciously exist between them.
1. Focus on the process between you, rather than your differences.
2. Work on accepting the imperfections of both yourself and your partner, while looking for the deeper meaning in repetitive
arguments.
3. Get curious about your learned patterns that you project onto your partner.
4. Learn to use the combined relationship emotions for creative life-enhancement, instead of destructive maneuvers.
5. Work to make each other´s lives larger, instead of smaller.
6. Co-create a picture of what your ideal relationship looks like and visualize that image daily.
7. Make a commit, to yourself and to each other, to not participate in destructive interactions that can damage and may ultimately destroy shared consciousness.
In "Embracing The Beloved", Stephen and Ondrea Levine write, how in a spiritual here and now process, they view one another as, "beingness" constantly unfolding. They also refer to combined consciousness as a, "beloved energy."
It can be a difficult process to transform our power struggles into creative energy. As Thomas Merton wrote, "... true love and prayers are learned in the moment when prayer has become impossible and the heart has turned to stone."
Marion Woodman describes the first time she saw her husband free of her own projections after three years of marriage, when she heard him rattling around the kitchen, attempting to poach an egg. At first, she began to think in terms of "shoulds", becoming judgmental of his inadequacy in the kitchen. Then, she let go of all judgment and became able to see him for himself for the very first time, as he stood on spindly legs in his bermuda shorts, holding an imperfect poached egg. She felt such profound love.
Learn to watch with "soft eyes." Watch without any judgment, with compassion and loving kindness.
Copyright 2005 Linda Miles Ph.D
About the Author: Author, Dr. Linda Miles, is deeply committed to helping individuals and couples achieve rewarding relationships. She is an expert with a doctorate in Counseling Psychology, and has worked in the mental health field for over thirty years. She has been interviewed extensively on radio, TV, and in newspapers and magazines. Find more relationship ideas and relaxation techniques on her web site and in the award-winning book she co-authored, The New Marriage: Transcending the Happily-Ever-After Myth, and Train Your Brain: For Successful Relationships, CD. http://www.drlindamiles.com
Source: www.isnare.com
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| Encyclopedia of Psychology - Psychology Websites |
| A hierarchical database of links to psychology resources. |
| www.psychology.org |
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| Psychology - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia |
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| American Psychological Association |
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| Intute: Social Sciences - Psychology |
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| Psychology Today: Find a Therapist and News to Use |
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| Social Psychology Network |
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| Psychology and mental health at Psych Central . |
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| Stanford Psychology Department |
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| www-psych.stanford.edu |
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| The Higher Education Academy Psychology Network |
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| APS Psychologist: Home |
| The Australian Psychological Society (APS) is the largest professional association for psychologists in Australia, representing around 15000 members. |
| www.psychology.org.au |
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| Classics in the History of Psychology |
| Offers full texts of documents significant in the history of psychology by author or by topic. Includes ancient, medieval/renaissance, and modern thought; ... |
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| Psychology, Department of |
| Information about the department's areas of research, facilities and resources, academic programs, and people in the department, as well as undergraduate ... |
| www.psych.ucla.edu |
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| Internet Public Library: Psychology |
| This is a comprehensive site of psychology resources including hundeds of categories. ... Includes links to sites on specific social psychology topics, ... |
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| PsychCrawler |
| The mental health disorders search engine of the American Psychological Association. Type a search request and click the "Get Results" button for a fully ... |
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