|
|
|
Can Cats And Dogs Live Together As Friends?
Can cats and dogs live together without constantly being at war? It seems that they very often can.
We often hear people claim to be a "cat person" or a "dog person", but browsing through the various pet forums it appears that there are many...
Finding Out Your Child Has a Disability: It's Not the end of the World
Finding out that a child has been born with a disability, or that a previously healthy child has suffered an injury or disease that causes a disability can be the most traumatic moment in a parent’s life. Shock is usually the first thing people...
More than Mom and Dad
Love, love, love. It makes the world go round. It makes a family. So why does it seem the moment you have a baby, love, or at least your love life as you know it, goes right up in a cloud of baby powder? Let’s face it, you’re tired, you’re...
Relationships - The Glue Holding The World Together
What is a relationship? What does a relationship mean?
What does it amount to? There are different things that a
person could have in mind when they are thinking of a
relationship. A relationship is a connection or a bond
between two things....
The Complex World of Male - Female Relationships
So you've made it into the stadium and you are now stepping onto
the playing field for your first day of practice with the Dallas
Cowboys. Nervous excitement courses through your veins as the
coach talks about the various formations he is going...
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Great Relationship Problem Solving Technique
This is one of my all time favourite problem solving techniques, and I use it on a regular basis with clients who find it hard to get along with other people. But really, the technique can be applied to any problem at all, not just the ones that are about relationships. If you’re going around in circles with a relationship problem, it can really help to step back and break the problem down into groups. Here’s how to do it:
First, think of a small problem you are having in your life right now. Don’t try to tackle anything too big just yet, just get used to using this technique and then when you get more skilled at it you can try it with some larger problems. The idea is to separate your problem into three groups.
GROUP ONE: Parts of the Problem That Come From Other People
Write down all the parts of this particular problem that are brought to it by other people. Now, I know it’s tempting to lump all of the parts into this group, because it’s so easy to blame others for what is not working in our lives; but try to resist this temptation! And let’s face it - other people are not responsible for EVERY part of your problem. So be honest with yourself.
GROUP TWO: The Facts about Your problem
In this group, you are going to write down the facts. For example, let’s say your partner won’t spend enough time with you and the family. In this group, one of the facts you could write would be “We need ___ to spend more time at home”.
GROUP THREE: YOU
Now you are going to list all the parts of the problem that YOU bring to it. Many of the things you write down here will be related to your reaction to the situation. For instance, do you sulk or berate your partner when he/she chooses to spend time away from home? How does this contribute to your problem? What reaction do you get? Be sure to write down any of your own personal triggers from past circumstances or relationships which may be contributing to this problem.
OK: Time to Start Culling...
When you have created the three categories for your problem, pick up the list for Group #1. (Other People). Now, screw up this piece of paper and throw it in the bin. Why? Because…..
You cannot change OTHER PEOPLE
But how great would it be if we could?
We’d live blissfully in a world full of people who were just like us....or would we?? Now, I’m not saying that people will not change of their own accord. It just means that if they do change, it will be because they choose to, not because you tell them that they should. Don’t waste your time and energy on those parts of the problem that you cannot control!
Okay, now do the same with the group 2 list; screw it up and throw it away! Because....
You cannot change the facts
So now, all that is left is the list you have made for group 3. Your problem has just gotten a whole lot smaller because you’ve thrown away 2 of the lists! Have a good look at this third list. Are there any things in the list you have made that you feel you truly cannot change? If so, remove these items from the list – you must only use your energy on the things you do have the ability to influence.
Now, looking at the remaining things on the list, are there any things that you do not want to change? This is really important! If you don’t want to change something about yourself, then you will not; it’s that simple! But keep this in mind; writing this list is all about taking personal responsibility for what is not working in your life.
This technique will help you to focus on the parts of your problem that you CAN do something about. By now, you should have in your hot little hand a practical, do-able list that you can turn into an action plan. So the message is clear....
Find out what you can do about it and then take action!
***
You are licensed to publish this article free of charge, on condition that the author's name is included, and the link to her website remains visible and clickable to human readers, and as long as the links can be read and followed by the search engine spiders.
***
About the Author
Sonia Devine is a qualified professional hypnotherapist and success coach with a caring and committed approach to healing, who lives in Melbourne, Australia. You can find more of her information on mental health, self image, love, relationships, phobias and much more on her website Manifest Your Success
|
|
|
|
|
| Relationships: Practical advice, information and friendly support ... |
| Information, answers, tips, advice and friendly support on everything to do with dating, relating, marriage, love and friendship issues. |
| www.ivillage.co.uk |
|
| Relationships Australia — Building stronger relationships which ... |
| Non-profit community based organisation providing professional services to support relationships. |
| www.relationships.com.au |
|
| BBC - Relationships |
| Getting the most out of your sexual relationships (Image: Couple kissing) ... Subscribe to our monthly BBC Health and Relationships newsletter ... |
| www.bbc.co.uk |
|
| Love & Sex: Love Advice for Singles and Couples at iVillage.com |
| Find love advice for any relationship, including dating etiquette and sex tips at ... Hot Topics & Real Advice · Experts · Singles & Dating · Relationship ... |
| love.ivillage.com |
|
| Go Ask Alice!: Relationships |
| relationship stuff. Healthy vs. unhealthy relationships · "True love"... Could it be true? ... Parents don't approve of interracial relationship ... |
| www.goaskalice.columbia.edu |
|
| Relationship - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia |
| Look up relationship in Wiktionary, the free dictionary. Relationship may refer to: ... Retrieved from "http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Relationship" ... |
| en.wikipedia.org |
|
| Interpersonal relationship - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia |
| Interpersonal relationships are social associations, connections, ... This type of interpersonal relationship also includes the comradeship of fellow ... |
| en.wikipedia.org |
|
| About - People & Relationships |
| About People & Relationships provides advice for every stage of your relationship from dating to marriage. And, when relationships hit the skids, ... |
| about.com |
|
| Relationships.com - Online Personals and Christian Dating for ... |
| Christian singles site for online Christian personals. Relationships.com is the leading site for Christian dating. Enjoy our chat, IM, photo galleries, ... |
| www.relationships.com |
|
| Teen Relationships Website! |
| Relationship chat and information for teens, by teens. |
| www.teenrelationships.org |
|
| Sex, Love and Relationships [HOME] - ChristianAnswers.Net |
| Learn how to make your love the best it can be. Christian answers to questions about sex, marriage, sexual addictions, and more. |
| www.christiananswers.net |
|
| Relationshipweb.com - First aid for relationships |
| Directory of relationship information. Contains links and forums. |
| www.relationshipweb.com |
|
| SCRS - Virtual Pamphlet Collection - Relationships |
| University of Texas at Austin; Keys to a Successful Marriage - University of Wisconsin -- Eau Claire; Making Friends - Massey University; On Relationships ... |
| counseling.uchicago.edu |
|
| Abusive Relationships |
| Abuse - physical, emotional, or sexual - has no place in love. Read this article to find out how to recognize the signs of abuse in yourself or a friend and ... |
| www.kidshealth.org |
|
| Relationship Advice Site Featuring Relationship Book Im Sorry |
| A relationship repair guide featuring forum, free ecards, postcards, and books. |
| www.relationshiprepair.net |
|
| Today: Relationships - MSNBC.com |
| Looking for love or having trouble in your relationship? "Today" contributor Dr. Gail Saltz offers help. In her weekly column she tackles some of the ... |
| www.msnbc.msn.com |
|
| Addictive Relationships--UIUC Counseling Center |
| It is often very hard to end a love relationship even when you know it is bad for you. ... It is in this sense that the relationships are "addictive." ... |
| www.couns.uiuc.edu |
|
| Relationships: See what people are saying right now on Technorati |
| See all blog posts tagged with relationships on Technorati. |
| www.technorati.com |
|
| Relationships in the Yahoo! Directory |
| Read articles on friendship, romance, dating, and marriage as well as incest, affairs, and divorce. Also take relationship quizzes and discover kissing ... |
| dir.yahoo.com |
|
| Relationships -- Beliefnet.com |
| Our relationships expert's "essential message" is that life is a journey to integrate the deep soul with the higher spirit. ... |
| www.beliefnet.com |
|
|