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5 Steps to Responding Rather Than Reacting to Anger
Think of your brain as a juke box where most of your records – your reactions to different situations – were recorded well before your reached adolescence. Then, as life goes on and every time someone pushes your button, you automatically play the...
Stress and Depression are Killing Us!
A short generation ago, families could set their watch by the time the father got home from work each day. My dad always walked through the front door at precisely 6 PM and supper was served at 6:10. We’d all sit around the table...
Stress Management: The Power of a Day
I learned a valuable lesson recently. A short while ago, my mentor coach made this powerful request of me. She asked me to book 24 hours to myself within the next 30 days and to email her when I had booked this day. During this day (which she...
The High Cost of Anger - Part 1
Learn to manage your feelings for better health. Suppose you are standing in the ‘express’ lane of a supermarket checkout. You see that the third person ahead of you has about 25 items and is paying by check when the signage clearly restricts this...
The Road to 25-hour days - Part One
Do you wish you had more time to do things you love, to be with your children, your life partner… and maybe with yourself, too? Do you wish you had the energy to cook healthy meals for yourself – or to exercise? Are you always too stressed to...
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Dealing with the Difficult Manager
When you have an impossible manager, quit? Sometimes that’s impossible. Here are some things to consider if you must remain there.
1.Get a coach.
Clarify what’s going on and come up with strategies. Learn more about yourself and how to deal with others. That’s a win-win. Don’t leave any situation without learning from it.
2.The company culture.
If the norm is hostility and incompetence, you won’t be changing it, and you can count on it getting worse. Should your particular manager leave, another one similar will be hired.
3.Everything else is excellent.
If there’s something important or meaningful you’re getting out of the job, stay, but don’t get lulled in to staying forever. It will get worse, not better, and eventually the balance will tip, so be prepared.
4.Your outlook
Your attitude can always improve a situation. Work with your coach, and surround yourself with positive people. Jobs and managers come and go. The only disastrous outcome would be for you to become cynical and pessimistic about yourself, life, or people in general.
5.Are you in the loop?
There’s power in numbers. Sometimes your colleagues can make up for a bad manager.
6.Age and career potential of the manager.
Use your gut instincts to evaluate the situation. Someone new may not last. If young and new, the chances are even greater. If they’re middle-aged and dug in like a tick, they’ll endure and you won’t. Use your gut to tell you who’s on-the-move and who has moved in to stay. If they’re liked by superiors, should there be a confrontation, they’ll be staying, you’ll be leaving.
7.Know your strengths.
We recommend taking the StrengthsFinder profile ( www.susandunn.cc/assessments.htm ) and having
a coach go over it with you. This unique assessment tells you the tools you have for dealing with life that are innate to you. An inept manager will have you focusing on your weaknesses and will make you feel inept. It’s part of what they “do”.
8.Life skills.
Always be working on your personal and professional development. Just as you acquire degrees, skills and expertise in your field, you should be developing your emotional intelligence. Such competencies as stress management, leadership, interpersonal skills, quick and accurate reality-testing, communication skills, resilience and flexibility will help you in this situation, as well as any other you face. Learning EQ has long-term positive results.
9.Look out for yourself.
Guard your health – physically, mentally, and emotionally. You’ll be more stressed, more likely to take sick days, and more likely to become negative and pessimistic. Coaching can help bolster you at this time. Use your own social support network as well.
10.Be mindful of patterns in your life.
If this is the last in a long series of impossible managers, it’s you. If you transfer to another department or job, and the same situation occurs, it’s you. If you also have an impossible spouse, kids, relatives and friends, it’s you. Get coaching!
About the Author
©Susan Dunn, MA, Certified Emotional Intelligence Coach, http://www.susandunn.cc . I teach individuals emotional intelligence through individual and group coaching, workshops, Internet courses and ebooks – http://www.webstrategies.cc/ebooklibrary.htm. ). A total program for personal and professional development. mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for FREE ezine. I train and certify emotional intelligence coaches. Email me for information.
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Stress Management Tips and Techniques from Mind Tools |
More than 100 stress management tips and techniques, helping you manage the job-related stress in your life. |
www.mindtools.com |
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Stress Management Techniques, Stress Relief & Stress Reduction ... |
Mind Tools helps you manage the causes of stress and teaches useful stress management techniques. |
www.mindtools.com |
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Stress Management |
Stress Management. What is Stress? Stress is the "wear and tear" our bodies experience as we adjust to our continually changing environment; it has physical ... |
www.ivf.com |
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Stress Management: Information and Resources on Stress From About.com |
Find a wide variety of stress management strategies you can use in your daily life. Learn about the causes and effects of stress, healthy and effective ... |
stress.about.com |
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Stress Management |
Links to stress management information on the web. |
www.pp.okstate.edu |
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Links to Stress Related Resources |
Return to the Stress Management and Emotional Wellness Page ... Cognitive Restructuring Approaches to Stress Management ... |
www.imt.net |
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International Stress Management Association(UK) |
The leading professional body for stress management. The ISMA website has articles from their journal Stress News, links and general advice on lifestyle and ... |
www.isma.org.uk |
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Stress Management for Patient and Physician |
Stress management for patient and physician. Stress is the most common cause of ill health, probably underlying as many as 70% of all visits to family ... |
www.mentalhealth.com |
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Stress Management: Counseling Services, University at Buffalo |
The description on stress management. ... Stress Management. Introduction Stress is a part of day to day living. As college students you may experience ... |
ub-counseling.buffalo.edu |
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Stress Management and Anxiety Relief |
Welcome to stressmanagement.co.uk - We specialise in managing your stress. |
www.stressmanagement.co.uk |
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Stress Management for effective ways to manage stress |
Our stress management services allows you to find the solutions to all types of stress. We also have professional stress management counsellors available 7 ... |
www.stressmanagement.com.au |
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Stress Management--UIUC Counseling Center |
Self-help Brochures. What is Stress? Stress is the "wear and tear" our bodies experience as we adjust to our continually changing environment; ... |
www.couns.uiuc.edu |
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The Stress Management Society |
Congratulations to taking the first step to freedom from the stress trap. This is the place to learn more about stress and its management. |
www.stress.org.uk |
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Stress management - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia |
Stress management encompasses techniques intended to equip a person with effective ... Definition of stress: Stress management defines stress precisely as a ... |
en.wikipedia.org |
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Stress |
Stress Management. Everyone experiences stress from time to time, so it is perfectly normal ... Fortunately, stress management is largely a learnable skill. ... |
www.cyberpsych.com |
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SBC Academic Resource Center | Stress Management |
With stress management training, you can learn to avoid procrastination and other stress-producing situations. Stress Quiz: How Stressed Are You? ... |
www.arc.sbc.edu |
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Mind Tools - How to Master Stress |
3. Stress Management Techniques. Raising Stress Levels - Psyching Up · Stress Reduction Techniques · Reducing Short-Term Stress - Mental Techniques ... |
www.psywww.com |
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Stress, stress management, occupational stress, stress prevention ... |
A recent survey showed that 70-90% of us feel stressed at work and outside. Unless we learn to manage stress, we will get sick. |
www.holisticonline.com |
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HSE - Stress Management Standards Homepage |
The International Stress Management Association has produced a leaflet showing how employees can work with their employers to tackle work-related stress ... |
www.hse.gov.uk |
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Stress Management Tips for Stressed and Overworked People. |
Free weekly stress management tips and relaxation CD plus practical resources for stressed people. |
www.stresstips.com |
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