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6 Practices for Achieving Excellent Self-Care
Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) often feel like they are running behind schedule, and just don't have the time get everything done. As a result, many ADDers end up sacrificing their own self-care in order to scratch off items on their...
Splash Your Acne Supplement Expenses with Food
Twenty-one year old Lydia Garcia faces an imminent dilemma- poverty or acne. Lydia religiously uses three herbs to keep her skin clear and she’s always on the prowl for supplements to augment her health. Just last week she read that the Chinese herb...
Stress & Self Esteem, 3: Nurturing Yourself
Copyright 2005 Tanja Gardner The popular view of ‘self-nurturing’ seems to focus on making ourselves feel good. Experts in magazine columns exhort us to be nice to ourselves, to speak gently to ourselves, and to ensure we’re not so disciplined...
Stress Symptoms
Stress relief and management Recognizing stress symptoms can be a positive influence in that we're compelled to take action. The sooner the better. It's not always easy to discern why the stress in each situation but some of the more common events...
Why Most People Don't Really Want to Heal (Part 2)
TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR OUR ILLNESSES The first step to healing is to accept that we created our illnesses in the first place. This can be a difficult concept to swallow. So many of us are invested in the prevailing Western scientific medical...
 
Exploring the "Should's": Is it Necessity, Desire, or Guilt?

How many times a day do you find yourself using the word "should"? ADDers are full of "should's": I should do the dishes, I should clean out the fridge, I should see that movie, I should call my friend, etc. The word "should" can be very dangerous to an adult with ADD, because it often results in guilt.

In order to break through this and help you prioritize the things that you "should" do, try exploring your "should's" by asking yourself the following question:

Is this a necessity, a desire, or guilt? Here are some examples:

I should do my taxes.
Necessity: If you don't do your taxes, you can find your finances slipping out of control. You can end up owing the government penalty fees. And you will absolutely have undue stress. This "should" is a necessity.

I should buy that CD.
Desire: This is something that you want to make you happy. You like the music you hear, and therefore you want to own it. This "should" is a desire.

I should clean my house more often.
Guilt: If the "should" comes when you compare yourself to others, then guilt is probably involved. It often happens when we feel like we are not living up to the performance or expectations


of others (or our perceived performance/expectations of others.) If you visit a friend's house and its neat and clean, you may falsely interpret this to mean that your friend cleans all the time. In reality, your friend may have spent hours cleaning her/his house before you arrived to make it look nice! If you are physically and mentally comfortable with the amount of time you spend cleaning your house, then cleaning more often is not a necessity, it's not a desire, its a "should" that is just useless guilt!

Try this exercise for a whole day. Every time you find yourself using the word "should," ask yourself if its a necessity, desire, or guilt. I promise that you'll feel a lot a better about all the things you think you "should" be doing!

About the Author

Jennifer Koretsky is a Professional ADD Management Coach who helps adults manage their ADD and move forward in life. She offers a 90-day intensive skill-building program, workshops, and private coaching. Her work has been featured in numerous media, including The New York Times Magazine. To subscribe to Jennifer’s free email newsletter, The ADD Management Guide, please visit http://www.addmanagement.com/e-newsletter.htm.

 

Stress Management Tips and Techniques from Mind Tools
More than 100 stress management tips and techniques, helping you manage the job-related stress in your life.
www.mindtools.com
 
Stress Management Techniques, Stress Relief & Stress Reduction ...
Mind Tools helps you manage the causes of stress and teaches useful stress management techniques.
www.mindtools.com
 
Stress Management
Stress Management. What is Stress? Stress is the "wear and tear" our bodies experience as we adjust to our continually changing environment; it has physical ...
www.ivf.com
 
Stress Management: Information and Resources on Stress From About.com
Find a wide variety of stress management strategies you can use in your daily life. Learn about the causes and effects of stress, healthy and effective ...
stress.about.com
 
Stress Management
Links to stress management information on the web.
www.pp.okstate.edu
 
Links to Stress Related Resources
Return to the Stress Management and Emotional Wellness Page ... Cognitive Restructuring Approaches to Stress Management ...
www.imt.net
 
International Stress Management Association(UK)
The leading professional body for stress management. The ISMA website has articles from their journal Stress News, links and general advice on lifestyle and ...
www.isma.org.uk
 
Stress Management for Patient and Physician
Stress management for patient and physician. Stress is the most common cause of ill health, probably underlying as many as 70% of all visits to family ...
www.mentalhealth.com
 
Stress Management: Counseling Services, University at Buffalo
The description on stress management. ... Stress Management. Introduction Stress is a part of day to day living. As college students you may experience ...
ub-counseling.buffalo.edu
 
Stress Management and Anxiety Relief
Welcome to stressmanagement.co.uk - We specialise in managing your stress.
www.stressmanagement.co.uk
 
Stress Management for effective ways to manage stress
Our stress management services allows you to find the solutions to all types of stress. We also have professional stress management counsellors available 7 ...
www.stressmanagement.com.au
 
Stress Management--UIUC Counseling Center
Self-help Brochures. What is Stress? Stress is the "wear and tear" our bodies experience as we adjust to our continually changing environment; ...
www.couns.uiuc.edu
 
The Stress Management Society
Congratulations to taking the first step to freedom from the stress trap. This is the place to learn more about stress and its management.
www.stress.org.uk
 
Stress management - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Stress management encompasses techniques intended to equip a person with effective ... Definition of stress: Stress management defines stress precisely as a ...
en.wikipedia.org
 
Stress
Stress Management. Everyone experiences stress from time to time, so it is perfectly normal ... Fortunately, stress management is largely a learnable skill. ...
www.cyberpsych.com
 
SBC Academic Resource Center | Stress Management
With stress management training, you can learn to avoid procrastination and other stress-producing situations. Stress Quiz: How Stressed Are You? ...
www.arc.sbc.edu
 
Mind Tools - How to Master Stress
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www.psywww.com
 
Stress, stress management, occupational stress, stress prevention ...
A recent survey showed that 70-90% of us feel stressed at work and outside. Unless we learn to manage stress, we will get sick.
www.holisticonline.com
 
HSE - Stress Management Standards Homepage
The International Stress Management Association has produced a leaflet showing how employees can work with their employers to tackle work-related stress ...
www.hse.gov.uk
 
Stress Management Tips for Stressed and Overworked People.
Free weekly stress management tips and relaxation CD plus practical resources for stressed people.
www.stresstips.com
 
 

 
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