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2 Ancient Methods Combined Together Make A Modern 2 Minute Stress Relief Technique
When Christopher Columbus arrived in the new world and landed on his rowboat...the natives could not see his ship out at sea! Their familiarity with their environment and the ocean in particular was such that they couldn't perceive the...
5 Ways to Fight Pessimism
Some people are naturally pessimistic and are happy being so. They view themselves as pragmatic and as having a better sense of reality. Then there are those of us who feel weighed down by negativity and wish that we could be more optimistic. ...
DE-STRESSING DECEMBER. Ten Tips For A Stress-Free Holiday Season
DE-STRESSING DECEMBER Ten Tips For A Stress-Free Holiday Season If the normally joyous holiday season makes you nervous, anxious and stressed out from anticipation, there is hope for you. Below are ten tips for reducing your holiday stress level...
Five Ways to Reduce Environmental Stress - Part 1
Publishing Guidelines: You have permission to publish this article in your ezine, publication, Ebook, or on your website as long as the resource box is included with the article and as long as neither the article or resource box are changed in any...
Stress In The Workplace
According to the Australian Council of Trade Unions’ (A.C.T.U.) 1997 survey, fifty per cent of workers had suffered some form of stress at work in a 12-month period. The statistics in care professions were even higher, with the Department of...
 
Stress & Self Esteem, 3: Nurturing Yourself

Copyright 2005 Tanja Gardner

The popular view of ‘self-nurturing’ seems to focus on making ourselves feel good. Experts in magazine columns exhort us to be nice to ourselves, to speak gently to ourselves, and to ensure we’re not so disciplined that we forget to treat ourselves to something that feels nice once in a while. You know the kind of advice we’re talking about: get a weekly massage, or meet up with friends for a coffee on a regular basis. None of which we’d necessarily disagree with – but we also suggest that self-nurturing goes much deeper.

The problem with many of the recommended techniques, though, is that they’re surface-level gestures. Much like sticking plasters that are beneficial if applied over a clean cut (but won’t do much if the wound’s gone septic!), techniques like a weekly cappuccino routine won’t go far in improving our self-esteem unless they build on a foundation in which our basic needs met.

So what are these basic needs? Not surprisingly, they’re much the same as the basic needs we have to meet to build anything else in our lives. A core principle of Optimum Life is that *everything* is interconnected, which means self-esteem doesn’t exist off in a little category of its own. Basic needs include:

OUR PHYSICAL NEEDS
The need to nourish our bodies with nutritious food (‘nurture’, ‘nourish’ and ‘nutrition’ all come from the same root word in Latin), the need to move our bodies so that all of our systems are maintained at optimum levels, and the need for sufficient rest

OUR MENTAL/EMOTIONAL NEEDS
The need nourish our minds and hearts with thoughts and beliefs that energise and support, rather than sabotage; and the need to surround ourselves with people who do the same

OUR SPIRITUAL NEEDS
The need to nourish our spirits by connecting with the spiritual, however we might personally find that connection. It could be prayer or meditation, but could equally be time spent alone walking in nature, or listening to our favourite music. The channel to the connection doesn’t matter – it’s the connection itself that meets our needs.

Of course, the added advantage of addressing basic needs first when trying to build self-esteem, is that it sends a clear, pre-emptive message to your Inner Critic (which will often try to tell you that looking after yourself is selfish) that you’re worth taking care of. And that, in itself, can be a huge step forward in building self-esteem.

But if that’s not enough, and you feel you don’t deserve to spend this time (or money) on yourself, you might want to


remember the last safety demonstration you saw on an airplane (if you’ve never flown, you’ve probably still seen it in a movie). Remind your Critic that in *every* demonstration, passengers are told that if oxygen masks drop, they must fit their own before helping others. Most people would agree this makes sense – after all, if you’re short of oxygen yourself, you’re not going to be in any kind of position to help anyone else fit theirs. So is it so hard to extrapolate from airplanes to everyday life?

As with anything, in order to give something (whether it be oxygen, energy or time), we need to actually have it to start with. We simply can’t give what we don’t have. Just as, to manage the task of fitting someone else’s oxygen mask, you need a minimal flow of oxygen to your own brain; to meet the needs of others, you first need to make sure your own are met. And meeting our own needs is exactly what self-nurture is all about.

Once, and only once, you’ve begun to address these basic needs do we suggest that you start exploring the suggestions of the many experts out there. Not all suggestions will work for everyone – but the only way to find out whether something will work for you is to try it.

Finally, if you discover that you’re not meeting your basic needs, but aren’t quite sure what to do to change that (or know what you need to do, but somehow never seem to get around to making it happen), you may well find asking for help from others useful.

Our final article in this series on Stress and Self-esteem investigates how best to do this, but if you’d like to benefit from personal coaching with a qualified stress management counsellor before then, please don’t hesitate to contact me to find out how I can best help you.

Until the next article, may every day bring you closer to your Optimum Life.


About the author:
Optimum Life's Tanja Gardner is a Personal Trainer and Stress Management Coach whose articles on holistic health and relaxation have appeared in various media since 1999. To read more articles like this one, please subscribe to Optimum Stress News at http://optimumlife.co.nz/Newsletter%20Signup.htm Tofind out more about how you could benefit from online personal training, please visit http://www.trainerforce.com/optimumlife/or contact Tanja on mailto:tanja@optimumlife.co.nz



 

Stress Management Tips and Techniques from Mind Tools
More than 100 stress management tips and techniques, helping you manage the job-related stress in your life.
www.mindtools.com
 
Stress Management Techniques, Stress Relief & Stress Reduction ...
Mind Tools helps you manage the causes of stress and teaches useful stress management techniques.
www.mindtools.com
 
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Find a wide variety of stress management strategies you can use in your daily life. Learn about the causes and effects of stress, healthy and effective ...
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Stress Management
Links to stress management information on the web.
www.pp.okstate.edu
 
Links to Stress Related Resources
Return to the Stress Management and Emotional Wellness Page ... Cognitive Restructuring Approaches to Stress Management ...
www.imt.net
 
International Stress Management Association(UK)
The leading professional body for stress management. The ISMA website has articles from their journal Stress News, links and general advice on lifestyle and ...
www.isma.org.uk
 
Stress Management for Patient and Physician
Stress management for patient and physician. Stress is the most common cause of ill health, probably underlying as many as 70% of all visits to family ...
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Stress Management: Counseling Services, University at Buffalo
The description on stress management. ... Stress Management. Introduction Stress is a part of day to day living. As college students you may experience ...
ub-counseling.buffalo.edu
 
Stress Management and Anxiety Relief
Welcome to stressmanagement.co.uk - We specialise in managing your stress.
www.stressmanagement.co.uk
 
Stress Management for effective ways to manage stress
Our stress management services allows you to find the solutions to all types of stress. We also have professional stress management counsellors available 7 ...
www.stressmanagement.com.au
 
Stress Management--UIUC Counseling Center
Self-help Brochures. What is Stress? Stress is the "wear and tear" our bodies experience as we adjust to our continually changing environment; ...
www.couns.uiuc.edu
 
The Stress Management Society
Congratulations to taking the first step to freedom from the stress trap. This is the place to learn more about stress and its management.
www.stress.org.uk
 
Stress management - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Stress management encompasses techniques intended to equip a person with effective ... Definition of stress: Stress management defines stress precisely as a ...
en.wikipedia.org
 
Stress
Stress Management. Everyone experiences stress from time to time, so it is perfectly normal ... Fortunately, stress management is largely a learnable skill. ...
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SBC Academic Resource Center | Stress Management
With stress management training, you can learn to avoid procrastination and other stress-producing situations. Stress Quiz: How Stressed Are You? ...
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Mind Tools - How to Master Stress
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Stress, stress management, occupational stress, stress prevention ...
A recent survey showed that 70-90% of us feel stressed at work and outside. Unless we learn to manage stress, we will get sick.
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HSE - Stress Management Standards Homepage
The International Stress Management Association has produced a leaflet showing how employees can work with their employers to tackle work-related stress ...
www.hse.gov.uk
 
Stress Management Tips for Stressed and Overworked People.
Free weekly stress management tips and relaxation CD plus practical resources for stressed people.
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