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Taking the Stress out of Making Decisions - A Wholistic Approach
The Decision
There are many times in your life when you are confronted with a
decision to make. It might be a fairly big decision related to a
career change or a relationship, or it could be a relatively
small decision such as deciding which photographer to use for
your wedding. Whatever the case may be if there is a lot riding
on the decision, the whole experience can be seen as daunting
and quite stressful.
Earlier this year I was confronted with quite a big decision to
make. I had been working for a medium size software company as a
product manager for the last five years. Even though I enjoyed
the work, I had got to a point where I was feeling quite
stagnant and felt like I needed a change. Fortunately during
this time, a former business colleague who was running a small
"start up" company was in need of an experienced person who
could take over the software development and management of his
software products. The job sounded perfect. It was chance to get
my hands technically dirty again while having the option of
flexible hours working from home whenever I wanted which meant
more time with my family. To put the icing on the cake, it was
contract based role that offered more money than what I was
currently earning.
After assessing my colleague's company sales pipe and financials
the decision appeared quite an easy one for me to make. There
was an element of risk working for a start up company but I felt
confident that if it didn't work out, I could always find
another job or contract. I remember feeling very nervous and
even somewhat emotional when I handed in my resignation to the
CEO. He had not only been my boss for the last couple of years,
but had also become a good mentor. His response only made the
resignation experience even more difficult. He really didn't
want me to go. After an hour of sharing my reasons with him, we
agreed that I would spend the day thinking about it. I owed him
that much I guess.
Before the day had ended, the CEO asked me to come back into his
office to discuss a counter offer. Due to a company restructure
that was occurring at the time, there was an opening for a new
role as the project group manager for a new project the company
had just won, worth over 2 million dollars. Basically he wanted
me to take over the responsibility of this project to ensure
that the company could meet all the major miles stones. The
position involved managing the majority of the research and
development team and naturally warranted a pay rise, one that
exceeded what had been offered to me by my colleague. From a
resume perspective the position looked fantastic.
I walked out of the CEO's office totally dazed and confused.
Fortunately it was Friday and I had the whole weekend to think
about it. I explained to my colleague what had happened and that
I had to reconsider my options. He was very understanding and
was happy for me to think about the whole thing. That night I
talked it over with my wife. We both agreed that on one hand the
start-up role sounded good especially the flexible hours, but on
the other hand there was this great position that would make my
career. It also probably meant a lot less time with the family.
I could see pros and cons on both sides but no clear winner
either way. From the time I had left work until now, I had
changed my mind numerous times swinging from one way to the
other like a pendulum. I decided to just sleep on it and not
stress out.
The next morning I felt I was no closer to knowing which way to
go. At this point I knew that the only way I could decide was if
I used some form of decision making technique. When it comes to
decision making there are a numerous methods that are available.
Having been a senior manager I was very accustomed to
performance indicators as a way to measure the progress of an
individual, group, product or project. So this was going to be
my first method. However I felt that for such an important
decision this was too one dimensional and so my second method
was simply to imagine the day in the life of each role, an idea
that I borrowed from a coaching seminar. Finally the third
technique, which was suggested by a close friend of mine, was
simply to meditate on the options.
Decision Making Method 1 - The Analytical Approach
The fundamental ingredient to making a "measured" decision is to
identify what the key indicators are. The key indicators that I
felt were important to me when making my decision were:
* Low Stress - The level of day to day stress encountered
(or lack of) as part of the job - 10 = No stress, 0 = High stress
* Family Life - The quality time spent with family - 10 =
Lots of Quality Time with family, 0 = No Quality Time with Family
* Resume - The impact made on my resume - 10 = Great for
my resume, 0 = Does nothing for my resume
* Future Prospects - Related to Resume, the ability to
acquire a job in the future based on the experience gained and
contacts made. 10 = Assist greatly, 0 = Harm my future prospects
* Security - How secure the job is - 10 = Extremely
secure, 0 = Extremely risky
* Money - The more money the higher the rating
* Health - The impact the job would have on my health. 10
= Very good for my health, 0 = Very bad for my health
* Job Satisfaction - The satisfaction felt of doing the
job. 10 = Extremely satisfying, 0 = Not satisfying
* Quality of Life - My ability to pursue and enjoy my
hobbies and other activities of interest. 10 = Very good, 0 =
very bad
* 5 Year Plan - A measure of whether this would take me
closer to where I wanted to be in 5 years. This was actually a
complicated measure made up of a number of sub-indicators.
* Unknown - I call this the unknown factor taking into
account potential risks and unforeseen facts that would have a
significant bearing on the decision made. 10 = Extremely high
confidence level, 0 = Very low confidence level.
When measuring the new opportunity with the start up company, I
came up with the following scores:
* Low Stress = 9/10
* Family Life = 9.5/10
* Resume = 8.5/10
* Future Prospects - 8/10
* Security - 6/10
* Money - 8.5/10
* Health - 9/10
* Job Satisfaction - 9/10
* Quality of Life- 9/10
* 5 Year Plan- 8.5/10
* Unknown - 8/10
This gave me a total of 93/110.
After taking the same approach with the promotion at my current
company I scored the following:
* Low Stress = 7/10
* Family Life = 7/10
* Resume = 9.5/10
* Future Prospects - 10/10
* Security - 9.5/10
* Money - 10/10
* Health - 7/10
* Job Satisfaction - 9/10
* Quality of Life- 7/10
* 5 Year Plan- 8/10
* Unknown - 8/10
This gave me a total of
92/110.
Such a close result made it very clear as to why I was confused
and undecided. On one hand the new opportunity represented a new
life style that was more in line with how I wanted my life to
be, but was a little risky and paid less. The promotion with the
new job however meant more money with far less risk, but also
meant less time with the family and less time doing the other
things I was interested in.
Decision Making Method 2 - The Emotional Approach
The first decision making method used was really a logical and
very analytical approach to assessing each option. While it
didn't give me an answer it brought all the issues to the
surface. The second method used however was quite different.
Essentially what I did was try to bring each option to life by
visualizing a day in the life of each job. I thought this type
of approach would really help take into account the feelings and
emotions that I might possibly feel.
When visualizing the new opportunity with the start up company,
I could see myself waking up in the morning feeling quite
relaxed and very eager to start the day. Because I had the
option of working both at home and in the office, I imagined
having the opportunity to enjoy eating breakfast with my wife
and kids without having to rush off to work. I then imagined
what it would be like to work in my office at home. This was
something I had done before in the past and therefore felt very
confident that I had the discipline to stay focused on the job
at hand. I then imagined going in to the office of the new
company interacting with my former colleague and the other
company staff. This was when the feelings of uncertainty began
to creep in. Firstly it would take a little bit of time getting
to know everyone and stamping my "signature" on the place. This
position was going to also involve a lot more technical design
and development which was something I hadn't done for a while. I
started to feel concerned that maybe I wasn't up for the job.
Yet I also knew that I needed a new challenge, to stretch my
brain again and basically be pulled out of the standard comfort
zone that one develops when having worked in the same role for a
long time.
I repeated the visualisation technique with the promotion at my
current company. I imagined getting up quite early to attend the
management meeting that was held every Monday. These meetings
were quite intense and tended to get heated at times especially
when it came to discussing product issues and the progress on
various projects. Projects inevitably ran behind schedule
because of the constant changes of requirements and the
development team's inability to estimate accurately the effort
involved in a project. However this was something that the CEO
believed that I could turn around. The idea of such a challenge
actually excited me. As the manager of the development team I
imagined having to get more involved in the human resource side
of things as well as managing the project schedules. The
delivery of products in the desired time frame typically
involved some late nights back at the office especially towards
the end of the project. This was something I had done many times
before for this company. This role too would stretch me but in a
different way. I would definitely be forced to acquire new
management skills that would greatly benefit my career. But at
the same time I was starting to feel a little stressed and could
see my self not enjoying the job so much. The thought of seeing
less of my family also made me feel a little sad.
This exercise really helped put things into context for me. It
reinforced that the new position was more in tune with where I
wanted to go. However there was still this high risk factor
associated with the start up company that concerned me.
Decision Making Method 3 - The Spiritual Approach
The last decision making method used had nothing to do with
reason or logic. It was more an attempt to use that sixth sense
or what I refer to as getting in touch with my soul. I simply
closed my eyes and meditated. I used a number of standard
techniques that are commonly employed in meditation including
controlled abdominal breathing as well as emptying my mind. When
meditation is done correctly, that is when the mind is
sufficiently calm and the emotions within are still, it is
possible to achieve a level of self realisation.
After spending what felt like only 10 minutes meditating, I
opened my eyes and was surprised to see that I had in fact
meditated for quite longer, at least 30 minutes. During that
time specific messages had popped into my head. Firstly, it was
now very clear to me that it was time for me to move on.
Secondly, if I were to take on the new opportunity with the
start up company I could mitigate the risk somewhat by offering
to work for the old company part time in an effort to assist
them with any transitional changes. If things didn't work out
with the new start up opportunity, then at least I still had my
foot in the door with the old company. I didn't think this would
be an issue with the start up as the new arrangement involved
contracting. Thirdly I could see that contracting out to
multiple companies could actually be lucrative.
This last method not only helped me make my final decision, but
I also felt an increase in mental alertness, happier and a just
a general sense of well being.
The Result
The CEO of the old company was very disappointed when I handed
in my final resignation. However he jumped at the chance of me
working one day a week until they could find a replacement. My
colleague didn't mind either. He saw this as an opportunity to
maintain a connection with a larger company which would keep me
in touch of what was happening in the industry. From my
perspective it turned out to be the best of both worlds
analysing the business problems at the high level one day a week
while getting my hands more technically dirty the remainder of
the time. And because I was averaging just under 6 days per week
on my terms, the money that I would earn was equal to what I
would have earned if I had accepted the promotion at my old
company, but with far les stress!
When it comes to decision making, the techniques used were by no
means revolutionary in anyway. Nevertheless the combined use of
these three techniques that drew on logic (the mind),
emotion (the heart) and spirit (the soul) provided
me a well rounded answer to a difficult decision. The next time
you are confronted with an important decision, give this
Wholistic Decision Making approach a go.
About the author:
David Tomaselli is the creator of the Wholistic Development
Exchange, a web site where you can access frequently updated
Stress Management T
ips, Free
E-Books and Products.
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