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Getting the Job Done: Careers in Project Management
Do you have a take-charge personality? Can you handle a wide variety of complex tasks? Are you good at seeing the big picture? Can you get the job done right, even on a tight deadline? If so, a career as a project manager may be right for you.
In...
How to Write a Work at Home Resume
Finding a work at home job is not easy. The field is very competitive, and it can take months to land a job. You can improve your chances by having a well-written resume. The first thing to remember is that if you aren’t qualified for a job, there...
Quick Guide to Accounting Training
Are you considering an accounting education but confused by all
the jargon? This is a quick guide to understanding the different
specialties associated with accounting careers and the training
you will need to be successful.
Business cannot...
Study Smartly and not hard: Part II
How to Multiply Time? Bad work habits usually result from some form of fear of failure or procrastination. You learn, over the time, to protect yourself from the hurt of failing by making excuses. "I would have done better if I had more time"...
Teachers, do not overlook teaching your students how to write checks
The stock market is in a downturn, corporations are laying off workers, public companies are collapsing and federal law makers want the next generation of students to understand how to manage their money. A subject that was once kept in the home...
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Two Leadership Strategies: Don’t Lose Your Mind & Be A Coach
Don’t Lose Your Mind
Are you feeling overwhelmed, a lack of confidence or under a ton of pressure? Are you trying too hard to make something work and focusing too much on trying to fulfill other people’s needs and expectations? You may have “lost your mind!”
My small still voice often speaks to me in cryptic one-liners. I’ll never forget the first time I heard the quiet whisper, “You’ve lost your mind.” And no, I had not lost my mind through hearing strange voices! Rather, this cryptic one-liner was reminding me I was trying too hard to fulfill other people’s expectations and solve their problems.
This cryptic statement harkened back to an article I had read by Management Consultant, Barry Oshry. This article referred to Middle Managers who begin their careers as healthy humans but in time become confused, weak, powerless and self-doubting as they slide into the ‘Middle Space’ becoming torn between demands from the people Above and Below… hence “losing their mind.”
At that time I had taken on a new contract to facilitate a six week “Leadership” series for a local college. In my anxiety to do a good job I was trying too hard to emulate the program designer’s “superior knowledge” and trying hopelessly to solve the high-stress, workplace problems of the managers who were my participants. Of course, I knew I had the necessary skills and experience to facilitate this series yet, I had “lost my mind.”
Reconnect With Your God
Focusing on other’s needs and expectations removed me from my own knowledge and power. My stress elevated and my self-confidence plummeted. Thankfully, that gentle nudge of “you’ve lost your mind” helped me see how I was eroding myself through comparing myself and worrying about what other people thought, wanted or needed. This is our cue to stop, step back inside and reconnect with our own truth – our own God.
In doing this we step back into our own authenticity and own power. Here we can reformulate our own view, thoughts and perspectives on what is happening and what we need. We can let go of the guilt and self-doubt we feel in trying to meet other’s expectations or in trying to solve their problems. We can relax and trust in our Higher Power always there for us.
Certainly, as
leaders, managers, family members and humans we have a responsibility to listen and empathize with those in our close circle but it is not our job to solve their problems or fulfill their expectations… which is all a part of the coaching process. Rather than striving to give other people answers, everyone concerned is better served if we instead help others to reflect on their own solutions or options. This is what it means to be a coach.
Be a Coach
We can let people know we care about their situation and that we are willing to work with them to empower them to solve their own problem. We can listen, empathize and ask pertinent questions all of which encapsulates the art of coaching. After carefully listening to and empathizing with another’s problem you might consider asking some of the following questions if they seem appropriate:
“Have you ever had a similar situation in your life and found something that worked? What options do you have in this circumstance? That’s one possibility, any others? What outcome do you want? What really matters here? Would it help to break this into smaller steps? What do you need to change or to move this forward? What is standing in the way? What other people or resources could help you? What steps can you take from here? What will you do and by when? Would you like me to hold you accountable for your commitments?”
Be careful not to turn coaching into a probing session! Always be respectful and gentle with others and of course, yourself. Remember if you are feeling overwhelmed, lacking confidence or you are trying too hard you may have “lost your mind.” Let go of comparing and trying to meet others expectations and needs. Trust yourself and be a coach!
About the Author: Teresa Proudlove is the publisher/editor of http://www.yourlifework.com: support and inspiration for your work and life. Teresa has been inspiring, supporting, and mentoring over 3000 people upon their lifework path for fourteen years, leading workshops and authoring many internationally published articles.
Source: www.isnare.com
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