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5 Dating Strategies for the Single Entrepreneur
Copyright 2005 Heartmind Connection, LLC
My friend Jonathan is self-employed and single. He talks about how it would be so nice to have a relationship in his life and yet I do not see him making the time for the process of dating. He tells me...
STAY HEALTHY AND YOUNG
Yes, it is possible for the people of all ages to keep themselves healthy, physically fit and young looking throughout their whole lives. Just take the following three steps and enjoy a healthy, happy and a long life.
1. Eat Balanced Food
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What's On Your Shift List?
The most happy and successful people on earth have a personal Shift List. They probably don't call it by that name, but they have one. How do I know? Because these folks are enjoying their journey on our challenging planet!
A Shift List is...
Why Not Try Bikram Yoga?
There are many types of yoga, but Bikram yoga tends to stand out from the rest. Even though the practice is largely the same, you'll immediately notice the difference in the environment -- the room in which Bikram yoga is performed is heated between...
Yoga for Every BODY
Yoga for Every BODY We all want to feel loved, open, free and peaceful. We all desire to let go of the ideals and expectations of the world and be simply still. What if you had permission to be anything your heart wanted you to be? What if...
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Quit Smoking: Why People Do Bad Things (even When They Know They Shouldn't)
Do you do Bad Things? Even though you know you shouldn't?
It's not your fault. It really isn't. You know you should stop doing it, but no matter how much you know that, and how much you try, you just can't stop!
Everyone knows how to lose weight. Don't eat fattening foods. Exercise. Everyone knows how to give up smoking. Dont light the cigarette. Yet having this knowledge just isn't enough. Sometimes even having the desire isn't enough! Time and again I hear about people who get really close to quitting smoking. They can get all the way down to one or two cigarettes a day, but just can't give up those last two. Many even make it all the way down to zero, but the cravings, oh the cravings! They are wretched, those cravings. Most will go back to smoking within the first few days. They can cut away most of the "stuff" that keeps them glued to the cigarettes, even not be addicted to nicotine anymore(!), but there is just something deep in their core that magnetically pulls them back in, like two lovers who know they are bad for each other but just can't help themselves.
What is this thing? What is at this core?
Let me take a step back for a moment. How many adults do you know who are happy? I mean really, truly happy? Think that question is foolishness? Let me ask you this. How many people do you know who love their work? I'm talkin' jump out of bed in the morning, can't wait to start. Sadly, the percentage is very small. Why is this?
We live in an interesting quick-fix culture. People don't really have to deal with their issues. We've got:
television
movies
shopping
toys
and hitting the gym
to distract us and make us feel better. Even more than that, many people's issues are quite buried. Think of dreams that were squashed when we were young. "An artist? You could never make a living at that! You should be a doctor!" People often forget what their dreams once were.
As a result, I see an awful lot of unhappy, unfulfilled people walking around. They don't know what is bothering them, they just have that gnawing feeling that there must be more. Advertisers pray on this, selling us more and more bottles and gizmos to give us that ever elusive Happiness.
True inner needs? People either:
think they're impossible to fulfill
are too scared and resigned to fulfill them
or are so disassociated from those needs that they don't even know what they would be even if they had to guess!
All those "bad" things -- smoking, overeating, gambling, alcohol,
the list goes on and on -- are easy ways to fill the void. Smokers will be able to relate to this one -- if you've just had a fight with your family, what do you do? You go for a smoke. Smoking makes it feel like the problem goes away. (I call this the "smokescreen." Har har!)
I'll let you in on a little secret--the real reason it's so hard to quit is not the nicotine. It's this void-filling. When you quit smoking (or any bad habit), you're suddenly faced with real life. All those stresses and needs that you've been avoiding? There they are, pulling at your coat tails, yelling, "Pay attention to me! Pay attention to me!" If you got in touch with your real inner needs and took baby steps to start fulfilling them, you would actually have little desire for cigarettes. It's true! I see it happen time and again in my Stop Smoking Coaching practice.
How do you do that, you ask? Here are some baby steps that you can start trying out now:
Next time, instead of taking that quick fix--stop.
Have a little quiet time and listen to what your insides have been trying to tell you.
Try journaling -- don't edit your thoughts, just write.
Some people find meditation and yoga to be great accesses.
Try deep breathing.
Go for a quiet, leisurely walk by yourself.
Personally, I find it easiest to just start noticing where in life I seem to be avoiding things the most, or if I want something more immediate and active, doing a mindmap (a word drawing) to figure out what I'm really thinking.
For each person, the key to figuring out your needs is different. Play around with it, don't give up! You'll be glad you did!
Jill Binder is a Stop Smoking Coach with a 90 day program to show people how to quit smoking forever, with a 100% success rate. She has appeared on radio, television, and newspapers across Canada, including The Winnipeg Sun, C-FAX, and CFRA. You can sign up for her newsletter, "YourTurn - Turn Your Weaknesses Into Your Perfect Life" at http://www.StopSmokingCoach.ca.
You can sign up for her newsletter, "YourTurn - Turn Your Weaknesses Into Your Perfect Life" at http://www.StopSmokingCoach.ca.
About the Author
Jill Binder is a Stop Smoking Coach with a 90 day program to show people how to quit smoking forever, with a 100% success rate. She has appeared on radio, television, and newspapers across Canada, including The Winnipeg Sun, C-FAX, and CFRA. You can sign up for her newsletter, "YourTurn - Turn Your Weaknesses Into Your Perfect Life" at http://www.StopSmokingCoach.ca.
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