|
|
|
15 Hair Care Myths - The Truth and The Lies
Everyone has a favourite myth about hair care – and we usually never let the truth get in the way of a good legend! This article examines some of the most widely known - and the reality behind the myths. 1. Excessive washing of hair causes hair...
Beauty Secrets of the Stars
It comes as no surprise that many of the most beautiful and famous people go to great lengths to maintain their youthful appearance. They work out with personal trainers. They go to the best hair salons and rejuvenating spas. They use exotic skin...
Keeping A Journal
Keeping a Journal By Doreene Clement Writing, expressing can heal us. It can focus, support, and enhance our lives and well-being. Whether we laugh or we cry, whether through sorrow or joy, we can understand more about ourselves, and each other,...
Loving Every Phenomenal Part of You
Have you ever wished yourself away? I am not referring to leaving your precious life on this Earth; but rather, just wished you weren’t a certain way or did not have some particular qualities and mannerisms that were so apparent to you. I know I...
The Dazzling Rhinestone
Rhinestones have a glittering past. Originally rhinestones where referred to Czechoslovakian or Bohemian glass dating as far back as the 13th century in Bohemia and the Czech Republic. Both have a history steeped in beautiful hand blown glass as...
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Addiction to Perfection
The following article is offered for free use in your ezine,
print publication or on your web site, so long as the author resource box at the end is included, with hyperlinks. Notification of publication would be appreciated.
Title: Addiction to Perfection
Author: Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
E-mail: mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com
Copyright: © 2005 by Margaret Paul
URL: http://www.innerbonding.com
Word Count: 727
Category: Self Improvement
Addiction to Perfection
By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
The following email was sent to me by Karen, a member of our website:
“For no obvious reason this morning, I was feeling anxious and depressed. I looked at it and realized that the false belief creating all this was that I have to be perfect in order for me to allow myself to feel happiness. Yet, there are so many conditions for me to be perfect that it is almost impossible to achieve. Still, I have driven myself to be ‘perfect’ sometimes and discovered it that the ensuing happiness lasts about 2 seconds and I am exhausted.
“Lately, procrastination is somehow wrapped up in this conundrum too. Maybe I don't even try things because I know if it's not done perfectly I won't value it anyway. Most of my life, my critically inspired drive propelled me to achieve some amazing things (including opening my own business in L.A.). Somehow, I feel that if I don't criticize and punish myself then I'll never go anywhere or do anything. Yet the truth is, right now, I'm not really productive. There must be another way!”
Needing to be perfect is a form of control. The wounded, critical part of us believes that, “If I am perfect (whatever that means!) then people will like me, love me, admire me, approve of me, pay attention to me, or validate me. Then I will feel worthy. I can control how people feel about me by being perfect.” The need to control how people feel about us comes from making others responsible for defining our worth. The false belief is that if someone likes you, then you are worthy, and then you can be happy. But, as Karen said, “the ensuing happiness last about 2 seconds and I am exhausted.” Trying to be perfect is exhausting and the good feelings are very short-lived.
In addition, having to be perfect in order to gain approval often leads to procrastination. The fear of disapproval and failure if you are not perfect can be so great that it stops you from taking the action you need to take. Judging yourself to get yourself to do things “perfectly” often backfires, leading to paralysis instead of
creativity and productivity, as it has with Karen.
Karen states that, “There must be another way!” There is, indeed, another way - a much better way.
When you decide to define your own worth instead of handing that crucial responsibility to others, you will stop worrying about what others think and feel about you. The problem is that, for most of us, our parents and other adults defined our worth when we are young. Of course we saw adults as having the authority to do that. As we grew older, we gave our peers the authority to define us. But at some point, we need to shift from others having the authority to define our worth to our own higher, wise self or spiritual Guidance having the authority.
In addition, we need to shift from defining our worth based on external qualities to our worth being based on internal, intrinsic soul qualities. As long as your worth is based on performance, you will worry about results. But when your worth is based on your intrinsic qualities of caring, compassion, goodness, empathy, and joyfulness, then it is never on the line regarding your performance. This will free you to create and produce with freedom and joy, knowing that you can make all the mistakes in the world and still be worthy. Perfection never comes into the picture when your performance is a joyful expression of your intrinsic worth, rather than a form of controlling what others think and feel about you.
When you open to learning with a higher authority about your true, intrinsic worth, and embrace the beauty and wonder of your beautiful essence, you will stop thinking about perfection, and you will stop thinking about performance and what others think about you. You will know that you are already “perfect” in your essence, and that there is nothing to prove.
When you know your worth as intrinsic rather than based on your performance, life becomes so much easier and less tiring. Instead of your addiction to perfection immobilizing you, you are free to fully express yourself and manifest your gifts and talents. Expressing yourself creatively and productively becomes fun rather than fearful!
About the Author
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or margaret@innerbonding.com.
|
|
|
|
|
| Beauty Guide -- Hairstyles Makeup Nails & Skin |
| About.com's guide to beauty, hair & makeup. Learn new trends in hair color & styles, makeup dos & don’ts and waxing vs. shaving. See makeovers, tricks from ... |
| beauty.about.com |
|
| Shop at Beauty.com for Make Up, Cosmetics, Skin Care, Hair ... |
| Top Selling Prestige Brands - NARS, Too Faced, Vincent Longo, Philosophy, LORAC and much more in Stock. Free Shipping is available. |
| www.drugstore.com |
|
| Beauty Tips, Hair Styles and More at iVillage.com |
| Find beauty tips, including how to get hot celebrity hairstyles, at iVillage.com. |
| beauty.ivillage.com |
|
| American Beauty (1999) |
| American Beauty on IMDb: Movies, TV, Celebs, and more... |
| www.imdb.com |
|
| Beauty - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia |
| The usage of beauty for purposes of commercialism is a controversial aspect of the ... The ideal Roman is the more masculine form of pure male beauty. ... |
| en.wikipedia.org |
|
| CSS Beauty | CSS Design, News, Jobs, Community, Web Standards |
| CSS Beauty focuses on providing its audience with a database of well designed CSS based sites, as well as news and happenings on the CSS Design Community. |
| www.cssbeauty.com |
|
| Dove |
| Real Beauty E-cards. Send your loved one a real beauty e-card to tell her how beautiful she really is. send now · countries · privacy policy · terms of use ... |
| www.campaignforrealbeauty.com |
|
| Free Beauty Tips And Samples |
| Free beauty tips: hair care, skin care, makeup, lips, cosmetics, hairstyles, eyebrows, nails etc. |
| www.free-beauty-tips.com |
|
| Beautynet.com - home |
| Offering articles and related stories, plus a directory of beauty salons. |
| www.beautynet.com |
|
| css Zen Garden: The Beauty in CSS Design |
| A demonstration of what can be accomplished visually through CSS-based design. |
| www.csszengarden.com |
|
| Beauty |
| Information and practical advice to make you even more beautiful. |
| www.ivillage.co.uk |
|
| Amazon.com Beauty: Fragrances & perfumes, makeup, skincare ... |
| Online shopping for all your favorite brands of beauty products in the Beauty Store, where you'll find the latest in makeup, perfumes & fragrances, ... |
| www.amazon.com |
|
| GlobalBeauties.com - Your Portal to a World of Beauty |
| Coverage of Miss World, Miss Universe, and Miss International. |
| www.globalbeauties.com |
|
| American Beauty |
| Official Dreamworks web site. Trailer, reviews, and credits. |
| www.dreamworks.com |
|
| Beauty | Seventeen.com |
| Beauty Secrets: Readers share tips on how to fix last minute nail disasters and get ... Beauty School: What was your best makeover experience? ... |
| www.seventeen.com |
|
| Sally Beauty Co. |
| World-wide supplier of beauty salon products and equipment. Corporate information, locations, online catalog. |
| www.sallybeauty.com |
|
| Beauty Bar |
| html hit counter. |
| www.beautybar.com |
|
| BeautyLink |
| Your official Gateway to the World of Beauty on the Web. Your FREE Beauty Link membership gives you access to gossip, model & celebrity news, a teen section ... |
| www.beautylink.com |
|
| BBC - Slink - Hair & Beauty Bible - A-Z <br><p class="recess ... |
| Contains fashion and beauty advice, news, views, and interviews. |
| www.bbc.co.uk |
|
| Health and Beauty |
| Natural Health and Beauty, review articles on health and beauty, Skin Care, ... Problems with deteriorating facial bones and beauty are more severe in women ... |
| www.emaxhealth.com |
|
|