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Coaching Tips for Powerful Presentations
Tip #1 The purpose of your speech is to get results; to help people make changes and think or act differently. So start with the end in mind. What do you want people to do as a result of your speech? What do they need to know to do this? ...
Employee Motivation Checklist - Ten Measures of Success
In the form of a simple easy to use checklist, you can score how well you are doing out of 10. Better still, ask them. It's like what they describe as a mini-360 o , where your people get the chance to give you feedback. Only here it is a lot...
Get Rid Of The Clutter
You really can have a successful business and a great life. Often we get caught up in growing our business or climbing the corporate ladder that we put our personal lives on hold. Rather than filling up your calendar with work, organizations,...
R² = EOC (Recruitment and Retention = Employer of Choice)
Copyright 2005 Rick Johnson
Problems with staffing and retention may not be due to bad hires or a low unemployment rate. In fact, they may be related to poor management insight by not recognizing your employees as a core competency in your...
The Many Ways To Profit From O.P.P.'s Multiple Cash Streams
In a previous article we introduced you to the concept of O.P.P., or Other People's Property.
In that article we asked you what you would do if you found a business that:
could generate multiple streams of income
would work in any...
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Why Women Talk and Men Don't
I had an interesting experience last week…if you have spoken to me in the past few weeks, you’ll know that I’ve sounded like I’ve had a permanent case of laryngitis. What I actually had was a cyst on my throat. It’s like a big blister and the only way to get rid of it was to cut it out. So if I wanted to speak clearly again, I had no choice than to go ahead and have microsurgery. Notice I said micro, sounds much better than surgery or operation.
In fact, the whole process was (thank goodness) totally painless, even afterwards. All I had to do was rest my voice and not speak for 48 hours! I’ll also be undertaking voice lessons to ensure I protect this valuable instrument.
Now to the men reading this, avoiding opening your mouth for that period of time would probably not bother you. However, for a female it is a very hard thing to do. We like to talk in case you hadn’t noticed.
According to research, women speak around 30,000 (that’s right guys) words a day and men (if you’re lucky) speak around 10,000. So that’s a ratio of 3:1.
Interesting, isn’t it? So how does this work in daily life?
She Says – “He just doesn’t listen”
He Says: “She talks too much”
In their best-selling books “Why Men Don’t Listen and Women Can’t Read Maps” and “Why Men, Lie and Women Cry”, Barbara and Alan Pease say:
Women Talk, Talk and Talk
" When a woman talks she often uses indirect speech. This means she hints at what she wants or infers things.
Women's indirect speech has a purpose - it builds relationships and rapport with others by avoiding aggression, confrontation or discord.
When women use indirect speech with other women there is seldom a problem - women are sensitive to picking up the real meaning. It can, however be disastrous when used on men.
Men Take Words Literally
Men use direct speech and take words literally. They find women's lack of conversational structure and purpose very disconcerting, and accuse women of not knowing what they're talking about. They respond by saying things like "What's the point here?", "Where is this conversation going?" and "What's the bottom line?"
Men then proceed to talk to a woman as if she is a mental patient or will cut her off by saying "We've been over this a
dozen times", "How much longer will this take?" and "This conversation is too much hard work and isn't going anywhere!"
Indirect Talk In Business
When a woman uses indirect speech in business, it can prove problematic because men may have difficulty following a multi-tracked, indirect conversation.
Men need to be presented with clear, logical, organised ideas and information before they will make a decision. A woman can have her ideas and requests rejected purely because her male boss didn't have a clue what she really wanted.
Too Much Talking Can Waste Time And Money
I met with an accountant last year who had a chronic case of verbal diarrhoea. From the moment we met until I left, she wouldn’t stop talking. It was very difficult trying to get a word in. This was not a good way to establish rapport. No doubt she would have lost many business opportunities because of her talkative nature.
Something she was also oblivious to was the personality differences. When you look at the different personality styles, I’m the impatient type who wants to get to the point. This lady was trying to build a relationship with me and unknown to her, was doing the exact opposite…driving me away.
Through coaching I’ve learned to listen, however this woman was a shocker. I was so tired when I left…her talking wore me down. There was no way I’d ever want to see or speak to her again. Can you imagine what it would be like to be a client of hers?. Every time you’d ring her with a query, she’d take 10 times longer than necessary to answer it and you’d be paying for the privilege! I bet she’d be the most unproductive person in her business and also waste her own staff’s time because of her incessant talking.
The Final Word
Today we’ve focussed on the talking factor between men and women. Understanding your own personality style and those of others will provide you with a greater insight on how to communicate more effectively regardless of gender.
About the Author
Lorraine Pirihi, principal of The Office Organiser is Australia's Personal Productivity Coach. She specialises in working with businesspeople showing them how to dramatically boost their productivity, reduce the stress and the mess in their lives and have more time for enjoying their life.
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