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Are You Addicted To Your Activities?
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Title: Are You Addicted To Your...
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Are you ready to get married?
Marriage is supposed to last a lifetime. Are you ready for that
big step? Here are some indicators that can help you find out.
With the high divorce rate, it may seem risky to get married
these days. Of course, marriage has always been a risk since we
don't know how we'll get along with someone under the same roof,
no matter how long we've known each other.
If you are flirting with the idea of getting hitched, assuming
you have found someone with whom you share a serious
relationship, you may want to consider indicators like those
that follow. While there is no fool proof way to guarantee that
someone is or is not ready to wed, issues like the following may
help you reflect on potential problems to deal with before
saying "I do."
1. Will your financial condition contribute to a successful
marriage? Although you and your intended may have agreed that
you will not work for a while, or might work for fewer hours or
less of a salary, money problems are at the top of the list of
issues that married couples fight about. Unexpected expenses
like medical bills, home and auto repairs, and recreational
costs can soon have the most loving couple at each other's
throat as bulldogs more than lovers. Make a budget with your
beloved and determine if both of you can live within a joint
framework of shared income and expenditures. If conflicts arise,
make an appointment to see a marriage counselor.
2. Can you put up with your fiancé's idiosyncrasies? Remember,
whatever annoys or irritates you now about this person will only
become magnified after you marry. Living together, day after
day, offers no escape from whatever it is about your mate that
bothers you. Either decide you can live with her constant
chattering or his occasional emotional withdrawals before moving
ahead with wedding plans. If you believe this may be a problem
that can be addressed so you can go ahead and get married,
discuss it first to develop a plan that will head off major
arguments later. For example, they may agree that the wife will
chatter for 30 minutes when her hubby comes home from work,
during which he will listen attentively. After that, she backs
off to give him time to relax or putter at the workbench. She
may agree to give him emotional space when he doesn't feel like
talking, especially
if they agree his pulling away will last a
short time before getting together again.
3. Are you ready to serve a spouse? Being married means that
ideally, you are willing to put your spouse's needs ahead of
your own, at least sometimes. For example, if both of you have
college plans, but one income is needed to support the household
until the person graduates, who gets to go first? Will that
person agree to cover household expenses so the other person can
attend college afterward? Can you give up recreational spending
of several hundred dollars each month in order to help make a
larger mortgage payment? Will you do your share in getting up
with sick kids in the middle of the night to give your spouse a
break, even when you have to work the next day? Marriage is
mainly about setting aside selfishness and making sacrifices for
the good of all.
4. Can you handle more household chores? Chances are when two of
you are under the same roof, you may disagree about how the
house should be cleaned and maintained. There's also a good
chance you will have to do more work than before to keep things
neat and tidy. Will you be able to balance a job, family, and
home without blowing your top? Can you deal with a spouse whose
expectations may be lower or higher than yours?
5. How will you manage major differing viewpoints? Issues like
religion, politics, and moral values have divided many couples
and families. Whatever your views, can you temper them to
co-exist with someone who may hold very different opinions?
These and other distinctions among individuals need to be
confronted as you plan a life with another person. Look inside
yourself first to see if you have what it takes to sustain a
life-long relationship commitment. Then evaluate your betrothed
for similar criteria. It's better to find out now that you're
incompatible than to realize it a year or two after the wedding,
especially if children have come along. Give some thought to
these criteria before making a choice that will impact the lives
of many.
You can find more information here:
http://www.tradingideas4you.com/home-family/marriage/marriage.htm
l
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