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ATTITUDE
"You are today what you thought about yesterday You will be tomorrow what you think about today, Every attitude is positive or negative, It doesn't matter what happens to you, It is how you take it that matters." "In the game of life you can be...
"Divorce and Children: Things To Consider When You're Staying Married Only For Your Children"
All children are different and respond differently to divorce. Depending on the characteristics of the children - age, emotional maturity, happiness, resiliency to trauma - the easier or more difficult it will be for children to weather a divorce. ...
Down Low and Debatable
Black women talk candidly about men “on the down-low”. Warning: If you freak out at the mention of the word sex, reading this article may distort your moral values. On a blustery winter morning in December 1999, Essex Garvey, a stay-at-home mom...
Let Your Children Help You Prepare for the Big Move
INTRODUCTION AND INTUITION Are you and your children moving house soon ? If you're moving to a new town or a new region, it can be rough on your children as they may feel uprooted and disoriented. Your children lose the comfort and security of the...
The Joys of Being Healthy
It is amazing to be able to say I am a whole, happy, healthy, loving woman. I was sick for the first 40 years of my life. Like millions of other human beings I grew up immersed in the family disease of alcoholism. For generations it has plagued...
 
"Divorce Decision: Things To Consider When Making A Decision About Divorce"

When making a divorce decision, there are quite a few things that you should consider. Too often people find themselves unable to clearly identify what they need to think about when making a divorce decision which leads to further indecision and frustration. When making serious divorce decisions, having an open mind and listing the things that will figure into your decision about divorce, will help make the process a little simpler for you.

The things to consider when deciding about divorce varies somewhat from person to person, but here is a list of the most common items to contemplate:

Divorce Decision Item 1: Making sure that you are emotionally ready to go through with a decision.

Not being really ready to decide about whether to get a divorce because of emotional uncertainty will be a serious obstacle if you let your emotions cloud your ability to reason or use logic. People often fear making a tough decision and there are many reasons why people don't ever get around to actually making a divorce decision, which is often one of the toughest decisions to make in life. If you aren't ready to handle the emotional pain of what could be a "life changing" event like deciding about divorce, wait until you can before going through your divorce decision making process.

Divorce Decision Item 2: Making sure that the reasons for divorce that you've listed regarding why you think you want a divorce are indeed valid.

Too often people make the mistake of wanting to get a divorce (or thinking they want to get a divorce) for unviable reasons. This comes from being wrapped up with the idea of being hurt and focusing on one's self rather than separating the actual events from the end results.

Yes, it is very tough to elevate your thinking and be seemingly autonomous to your own situation...in fact, it is often impossible to do. But, if you can look at your situation with someone else in your place, and then go through your divorce decision making process, you'll be closer to the real answer that you want.

Divorce Decision Item 3: Understanding that your sense of self-confidence, ability to be 'self sustaining' with finances or other material things, and desire to 'start over' are all unwavering.

This mix of considerations about divorce can be overpowering for some people when they try to 'break away' or make the decision about getting a divorce. Simply, these 'things to think about' intertwine and affect each other directly. Self-confidence is essential to being able to make a lucid divorce decision, and your level of self-confidence can easily be changed (for better or worse) instantly. If this is the case, you should really re-think whether you're ready to make a divorce decision


and follow through with it.

A lot of time, women in divorce situations have to deal with finance issues and they fear going out on their own because they've had financial support previously. Still, the fear of losing finances or material things is not gender specific by any means...men and women alike need to decide if they are ready to go through financial loss to improve their lives if they feel a divorce will do so. Logic will lead you to the fact that finances shouldn't be the only piece of your divorce decision even though it usually figures in...as to what level finances figure into your divorce decision, will depend on you and what you deem important.

If your overall confidence and desire to start over with your love life support making a change, you're off to a good start in making a smart decision about whether to divorce or not.

Divorce Decision Item 4: Determining who else your divorce decision will affect and how much weight that carries in your decision making formula about divorce.

This item to consider when thinking about divorce is one of the primary things that can lead a person to a decision, one way or another. Even though it can have serious negative repercussions, selfless people will take into account everyone else who will be affected by a serious change like getting a divorce...it is fundamental portion of the overall process of making a smart divorce decision. Children, in-laws, common friends, etc., all will be affected by what you do regarding your action as a result of you truly answering the question, "Should I Get A Divorce?".

When making your decision about staying married or getting divorced, you should look to the future and decide whether your decision will improve or decrease your quality of life and the quality of life of those that will be affected. The number one reason given by people who want to get divorced but don't go through with it, stems from the fear that others will suffer from the divorce. Be very careful when assessing this situation...make sure that you use logic and not emotion when evaluating your thoughts.

Making a divorce decision is a serious and difficult task because it is complex, deeply self-reflective, and frightening due to the length of time it can affect you and others. Make sure that you have your thoughts organized and prioritized and you take your time in making a decision.

© Karl Augustine, 2004

"A Practical Guide To Deciding Whether Or Not To Get A Divorce"

An eBook recommended by marriage counselors and relationship coaches to their clients.

Deciding on Divorce

Divorce Decision

 

divorce.co.uk - advice on mediation, counselling and legal aspects ...
An overview of divorce in the UK, including the law, mediation options and emotional support, from Mills & Reeve.
www.divorce.co.uk
 
Divorce Magazine, information about separation and divorce
Divorce Magazine is a compassionate self-help resource for people in need of information about separation and divorce.
www.divorcemag.com
 
Divorce - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Divorce or dissolution of marriage is the ending of a marriage before the ... A decree of divorce is initially granted 'nisi', i.e. (unless cause is later ...
en.wikipedia.org
 
DivorceNet - Divorce Net: Family Law Information, Solutions, News ...
DivorceNet® is the Internet's largest divorce resource, offering state-specific articles, an online community and a nationwide directory of divorce lawyers, ...
www.divorcenet.com
 
The Divorce Support Page: Divorce, Child Custody, Alimony, Support ...
a support site for people experiencing, divorce, dissolution, separation, custody, alimony, visitation, etc. Divorce professionals to help you in your area.
www.divorcesupport.com
 
Divorce Source: a legal resource for divorce, custody, alimony ...
A state specific divorce web site providing information and referrals for people facing and experiencing issues revolving around divorce, separation, ...
www.divorcesource.com
 
DivorceInfo Surviving Divorce Managing Lawyers Alimony Child Support
Divorceinfo -Survive your divorce with some money in your pocket and your dignity intact.
www.divorceinfo.com
 
Divorce - Wex
An overview of divorce law with links to key primary and secondary sources, from Cornell University's Legal Information Institute.
www.law.cornell.edu
 
MedlinePlus: Divorce
Children; Children and Divorce (American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry) ... Select services and providers for Divorce in your area. ...
www.nlm.nih.gov
 
Divorce Aid :: Online Guide to UK Divorce Law, Information and Advice
The largest free online interactive divorce resource in the UK for divorce law, advice, emotional support, counselling, mediation, and website for ...
www.divorceaid.co.uk
 
Divorce-Online :The UK's leading low cost divorce service
The largest free online divorce and separation resource in the UK with information, forums, chat, experts and articles.
www.divorce-online.co.uk
 
How to Divorce As Friends - Featured on Oprah - Bill Ferguson
Advice, recommended books, and telephone counseling to help couples resolve difficult issues connected with divorce or even save their marriage.
www.divorceasfriends.com
 
Welcome To Divorce Online ~ www.divorceonline.com
An electronic journal providing information and referrals for people facing divorce.
www.divorceonline.com
 
Federal Magistrates Court - On-line Application for Divorce
In the short-term, please use the Application for Divorce form which can be found at ... Our E-mail address for family law enquiries (including divorce) is ...
www.divorce.gov.au
 
DivorceCare: Divorce Recovery Support Groups
DivorceCare is a divorce recovery support group where you can find help and healing for the hurt of separation and divorce.
www.divorcecare.com
 
Divorce Central Home Page
Links to divorce-related resources, organized by state, with an archive of articles and interviews.
www.divorcecentral.com
 
Divorce Helpline — tools to keep you out of court
Providing information about divorce, and referrals to family law attorneys.
www.divorcehelp.com
 
Divorce and relationship breakdown : Directgov - Parents
Advice on counselling, mediation and the divorce process, including where to find a solicitor.
www.direct.gov.uk
 
Americans for Divorce Reform, Inc.
John Crouch speaks about divorce law reform and presents a paper by John Crouch and Richard ... To find out how to work on divorce reform in your state ...
www.divorcereform.org
 
Divorce Busting® - Solve Marriage Problems, Save My Marriage, Save ...
Divorce is not the answer to marriage problems. Stop your divorce and save your marriage with advice from Michele Weiner-Davis.
www.divorcebusting.com
 
 

 
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