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8 Common Family Tree Research Challenges…And Their Solutions
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Reclaiming Holiday Joy: One Family’s Heartwarming Story
(ARA) - Two years ago, the Peterson family cancelled Christmas. There was little to celebrate. Their son Brian was sitting in a detention center. After nearly four years of troublesome behavior, Brian’s last brush with the law brought his family to the boiling point. Something had to be done. The Petersons believed they had little to celebrate and put all their energy into finding a solution for their son.
Brian, now 18 years old, began to show visible signs of troublesome behavior early in 2001, though the family found out later, his problems had really started years before. He had broken into his school a number of times, was abusing alcohol and even stole his grandfather’s car. Brian’s father, Greg, says things got so out of control, whenever something bad happened in their southern Illinois town, the police came knocking on his door. “We couldn’t control him at that point. We knew we couldn’t,” said Peterson. “We knew we had to do something.”
The Petersons had been looking for help for their son for months. They’d tried Brian’s school, the community and four or five different psychologists, to no avail. Greg and his wife, Bonnie, began looking for a special school that could give their son the help he desperately needed.
They spent that holiday season looking for a place that could help their son. The Petersons traveled across the country, looking for an organization that was the right fit for Brian. They visited alternative schools, military schools and “boot camp” style reform schools. Greg says what they saw, horrified them. “One school we visited had an isolation-style room, where a boy would sit alone, with nothing but a video monitoring camera staring down at him. It was awful.”
“Brian was just unhappy and making poor decisions,” said Peterson. “He wasn’t a bad boy and we needed to find a place for him that used love, not punishment, to help him realize his potential.”
The Petersons continued their research, and one day, while looking on the Internet, Bonnie stumbled upon another school that sparked her interest. It was the Montcalm School, located in southern Michigan. The next day, someone in her community mentioned Montcalm School to her. She, Greg, and their daughter Holly decided they would go take a look at what the school had to offer.
A short time later, the Petersons showed up, unannounced, on the campus of Starr Commonwealth, a private, nonprofit organization for troubled youth, where Montcalm School is located. They were impressed from the very beginning. “As soon as we walked in the door, a student walked up to us and greeted us. That hadn’t happened anywhere else,” he said. During their visit, the family met with teachers and students and talked to Montcalm School’s director, John Weed. He told them he credits the school’s success to strength-based programming and a positive peer environment.
“The strength-based model builds a treatment plan based on the individual child’s strengths rather than his weakness,” says Weed. “It’s a similar approach to the one you see in sports. A coach knows where his/her team is already weak, but doesn’t point that out. The coach will build the game plan based on the strengths that the team has and what they do well. Very simply, we believe in what they can do versus what they can’t do.” “In addition, Montcalm does an excellent job of following up with boys when they
graduate. We stay in contact with the kids and their families to see how they are doing. It shows our love and compassion for the boys…that we really care about how they are doing,” Adds Weed.
Dr. Jim Longhurst, psychologist for Montcalm School and director of Michigan operations for Starr Commonwealth says, on a clinical level, Montcalm’s treatment philosophy mirrors what all parents want for their children . . . development of their strengths. “It is one thing to focus on strengths during ‘good’ times,” he explains. “It is entirely a different matter, and we believe more important, to seek out, understand, and build upon strengths in times of crisis and trouble. It is not sufficient to repair damage. We must help people realize and develop their strengths and virtues.”
It was because of all of this that the Petersons decided to bring Brian to Montcalm School. He stayed at the school for seven months, after which he successfully graduated from the program. Brian’s father says as his son worked through the program, he and his wife saw fabulous changes. “It started with him asking for different styles of clothes and he continued to grow,” says Greg Peterson. “The staff of Montcalm placed trust in Brian and that was a tremendous source of pride for him. They helped my son realize that he was a leader.”
The year Brian graduated from Montcalm School, the Petersons once again celebrated the holiday season. “It was fantastic,” Greg said. “We were able to visit family in Florida and the holidays were very joyous.”
Today, the Petersons are doing well. Brian received his one-year pin from Alcoholics Anonymous on October 1 and attends meetings 4 or 5 times a week. He has made friends who don’t use drugs and alcohol and found the courage to stay away from those who do. Brian has continued to improve his grades at school and hopes to attend college. Greg regularly attends ALANON meetings and has found support and encouragement from other families.
Greg says that while the family struggled through the difficult time in their past, it was worth it. “If we had it to do over again,” he said, “we would do the same thing and send Brian to Montcalm. It is because of them that we have our son back. He is the child we raised and remembered.”
To apply, schedule a tour or learn about how your child might benefit from the strength-based programs of The Montcalm School, contact John Weed, Dean of Students at (866) 244-4321 or send an email to: info@montcalmschool.org
The Montcalm School’s parent organization, Starr Commonwealth, is a nationally and internationally recognized private, nonprofit organization founded in 1913. It serves children and families from locations in Albion, Battle Creek, and Detroit, Michigan as well as Columbus and Van Wert, Ohio. Services range from foster care to residential treatment, and from in-home counseling to programs that help young adults learn to live independently. Starr recently launched a bold new initiative called No Disposable Kids consisting of four multi-faceted training programs that help schools identify their strengths, analyze their weaknesses and utilize practical, prevention-oriented tools for creating safe and productive school environments.
Courtesy of ARA Content
About the author:
Courtesy of ARA Content
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