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e-Book on Russian Women (Part 1)
Introduction It is of course wonderful to be writing this second edition of my first book. The first edition, has many clients will remember, was written when we where a much smaller organisation operating for a small pool of clients in South...
Extreme Age Differences In Marriage Can Lead To Infidelity
“Extreme age differences between husband and wife may lead to infidelity” says author and infidelity expert, Ruth Houston, who was recently quoted in an article in the current issue of First for Women magazine. Houston’s comments were included in...
Living in LOVE : Remembering why you married
The kids are yelling, the dog is barking, and you just found out that your spouse forgot to do the one thing that you needed them to do today…again! This scenario may sound typical for your family, or your scenario could be worse. Maybe you...
Signs of Infidelity: My Marriage Made Me Do It
Infidelity has different faces...and different signs and patterns.
Yes, infidelity is complex. You probably know that or perhaps feel the overwhelm and confusion.
Most I work with find tremendous relief, a sense of control, confidence and power...
The New Marriage - Part Two Of Four
When we fail to get the response or connection with our partner that we want, perhaps we should stop and look at our own thoughts and behavior. It may remind us of frightful tigers from our past stalking the room. Sometimes a calm and collected...
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The New Marriage - Part Two Of Four
When we fail to get the response or connection with our partner that we want, perhaps we should stop and look at our own thoughts and behavior. It may remind us of frightful tigers from our past stalking the room. Sometimes a calm and collected exterior hides demons lingering from childhood. But how do we uncover the real person underneath our sophisticated facade? We climbed that mountain so long ago; the path we took may be lost in the undergrowth.
Our ascent of the First Mountain begins at birth. The learning we undergo in our early childhood is intense and shapes our experiences of love and adolescence when we are further up the mountainside. The ways in which we perceived things as children affected our neurological connections and influenced our later behavior in relationships. Modern research on the brain has revealed how critical early learning affects the way we behave with and perceive the partner of our mature years.
Very early in my career a couple came to see me who had been arguing for the last year over where to store the dishes in their kitchen. Each held a Ph.D. and both were academics—yet they were completely unable to solve this problem.
I made the mistake of trying to help them at a concrete level, when obviously if the problem was practical two such clever people could have readily dealt with it themselves.
I then realized that their problem had to do with the learning they had brought with them from their childhood. Each family household had been managed in different ways and they felt disloyal to their family of origin if they diverged from what they’d learned, since internalizing the family’s patterns of behavior is a child’s way of feeling he or she belongs. Once
this internalization has happened, questioning the behavior, even in adulthood, can cause anxiety about one’s identity and self-worth. The couple were at odds because of the behavior they each had internalized many years before their marriage.
This realization was important in my journey as a psychotherapist. I started to look more deeply for answers as to why couples maintain destructive interactions—interactions that seemed so obviously pointless and damaging. There were still many questions: Why, after all, did all the learning and intelligence these two academics had acquired since childhood appear to count for nothing in their relationship? Why was the learned behavior of their childhood so pervasive in their personal lives and so absent from their professional ones? Why was there this division? Then, I began to do some research and found…
Copyright 2005 Linda Miles Ph.D
About the Author: Author, Dr. Linda Miles, is deeply committed to helping individuals and couples achieve rewarding relationships. She is an expert with a doctorate in Counseling Psychology, and has worked in the mental health field for over thirty years. She has been interviewed extensively on radio, TV, and in newspapers and magazines. Find more relationship ideas and relaxation techniques on her web site and in the award-winning book she co-authored, The New Marriage: Transcending the Happily-Ever-After Myth, and Train Your Brain: For Successful Relationships, CD. http://www.drlindamiles.com
Source: www.isnare.com
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| Marriage - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia |
| Marriages are generally publicly declared in the context of a wedding ceremony. ... The term wedlock is a synonym for marriage, and is mainly used in the ... |
| en.wikipedia.org |
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| Marriage Builders ® - Successful Marriage Advice |
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| Christian Marriages - Families Christianity Free Newsletters Sex ... |
| A biweekly newsletter, published by Christianity Today, that provides information and articles of interest for couples. |
| www.christianitytoday.com |
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| Marriage -- THE starting place for exploring marriage |
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| Marriage - Wex |
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| University of the Family - Marriage Ministries International |
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| USC-MSA Compendium of Muslim Texts |
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| National Marriage Project Home Page |
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| Alternatives to Marriage Project |
| Provides support and information to people who choose not to marry, are unable to marry, or are making decisions about marriage. |
| www.unmarried.org |
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| Marriage Equality USA (index.shtml) |
| Group solely committed to securing the right to civil marriage for same-sex couples. Related facts, membership information, and chapters. |
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| President Calls for Constitutional Amendment Protecting Marriage |
| President Bush on Tuesday said, "The amendment should fully protect marriage, while leaving the state legislatures free to make their own choices in ... |
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| Marriage in Ancient Rome |
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| Instructions to Obtain a Marriage Certificate Copy |
| This page provides instructions for obtaining a certified or uncertified copy of a Wisconsin marriage certificate. |
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| Judaism 101: Marriage |
| Learn about the Jewish concept of finding your soul mate, Jewish weddings, the process of acquiring a spouse, and the marital relationship. |
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| the marriage toolbox |
| www.marriagetools.com/ - Similar pages |
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| American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy |
| Professionally developed resources for practitioners and consumers of marriage and family therapy. Site also offers a search engine for finding a qualified ... |
| www.aamft.org |
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