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Healthy Living: Simple steps to a better life
When you watch TV or read magazines you get the impression that most people spend their days as lean, mean exercise fanatics who compete in triathlons, eat tofu, and drink a gallon of rain water a day. If you don’t fit this profile, you are not...
Self Development - Beating Depression
Everyone has days when they are down, worn out and just not
feeling all that happy.
That's OK, you need to have days like this, otherwise how would
you know when you are happy. You need to have something to
contrast your happiness with....
The Power Of Expectations And Beliefs
If I were to place three apples on a table in front of you and asked you to choose one to eat, you probably wouldn’t have much difficulty selecting one. After all they are just normal apples, nothing special.
But what if I were to tell you that...
Tips to follow when you’re feeling down
Everybody has, from time to time, a period when he or she feels more tired than usually, and has a hard time concentrating. The important thing is to know how to react under such circumstances and to be able to maintain control and not fall into...
What Are Your Fitness Needs?
As we go about our busy lives, our fitness needs do not often
come to mind. In fact, probably the only thought that is given
to our fitness needs relates to the 15 pounds we think we need
to lose. But even when we are fairly fit, we have needs...
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Mindfulness and Being Gay: On Sexuality and Happiness
When I was growing up in the tiny town of Gaston, Oregon (population: 325), there was a week-long festival in the "big" town of Forest Grove six miles away.
It was called the "Gay Nineties" and featured a parade with townspeople wearing clothing from the late 1800s. There was plenty of ice cream, a petting zoo, an imported carnival in the shopping center parking lot, and a dunking booth populated by local teachers and business owners.
Back in the 70s, this was seen as the highlight of the year for kids in my town. Sure, we had the Gaston Good 'Ol Days parade, and we were guaranteed a spot by simply showing up with our favorite farm animal, but it was not nearly as elaborate as the Gay Nineties. After all, Forest Grove had over 10,000 people, so their events were much more exciting than ours. They had a marching band and a queen!
I went out of state to attend college in 1978, traveled around the world during my senior year in 1982, and when I came back to Gaston for a visit after graduation, I wasn't
too surprised to learn that the Gay Nineties had been discontinued. You see, "gay" was no longer a word that meant "happy"--it was a word that meant homosexual. Gay Nineties was no longer considered an appropriate name for a town's annual festival.
I moved to Japan, met my wonderful husband-to-be, and after our wedding, we spent time in Palm Springs. My aunt Linda, a divorcee, lived in a charming cottage there and gave us the scoop on her new city. Unimpressed by the pool of eligible males, she told us that Palm Springs was referred to as the Gay Nineties--because all the men were either gay or in their nineties!
In 1988, my half-brother Dennis, a brilliant ex-Foreign Service official and executive director of an international business council, called to tell me that he had been fired by the board for marching in Chicago’s Gay Pride parade. An openly gay man, he was stunned that
his good work could be viewed as less important than his expression of pride in his sexual identity. He moved to San Francisco, became a high school history teacher, and shortly thereafter, became ill. He was diagnosed with AIDS, and died within a year.
During the 90s, my father--who announced he was homosexual back in 1964, his dumbfounded Mormon wife forced to pack up the three preschoolers to go live with her parents--would vent hostility at the mere mention of the word “gay.” Never one to speak honestly about his own sexuality to his children despite the fact that it was stunningly obvious, he felt the word “gay” was somehow demoralizing.
In 2003, my younger brother Lynn, who had struggled mightily since the age of three with depression and an overpowering sense that he was not who he was, took his own life. He had been in counseling to find the courage to explore and embrace the seemingly shameful but unshakable notion that he had been meant to live as a woman. It didn’t take.
I never miss the Gay Pride parade here in Portland. Every year, it’s held on Father’s Day. It is a joyful celebration of diversity and acceptance in all shapes, sizes, colors and preferences. I see a little bit of my loved ones there.
It bears absolutely no resemblance to the Gay Nineties parade of my youth. There may be petting, but no farm animals. It is raucous, bawdy, bittersweet, and full of tremendous affection and humor. There are wild costumes and vivid colors accented by throbbing music and boisterous dancing.
In short, it is gay--in every sense of the word.
About the Author
Maya Talisman Frost is a mind masseuse in Portland, Oregon. Through her company, Real-World Mindfulness Training, she teaches fun, creative and powerful eyes-wide-open alternatives to meditation. To subscribe to her free weekly ezine, the Friday Mind Massage, please visit http://www.MassageYourMind.com.
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