|
|
|
10 Quick Ways To Start A Business
Are you thinking about starting a home based business?
Great!
Now, is the time to stop daydreaming about your plans.
Take hold of your future and realize that dream NOW!
The following are home based business ideas that do not...
How to Stay Motivated - Part 1
How to Stay Motivated - Part 1 by Dr. Zonnya First Lady of Motivation As a "Motivation Trainer" for over 20 years, I have researched the subject of "Motivation." It is talked about a lot, but not very much is taught or written about it. It seems...
Motivation, Quality and Individual in Third wave Companies
Second-wave companies are in the business of getting bigger. Size is their religion. Third-wave companies are more interested in finding a better way. This leads to a primary third-wave goal: to make yourself and your own products obsolete. No one...
Organisation Tips For The Mobile Executive
Despite the fact that everyone sighs "How glamorous!", the life of the business traveller can actually be hell! Fighting international datelines, jetlag, airline food, hotel pillows filled with rocks, and the constant packing can turn an...
The 3 Deadly Sins of Motivational Speakers And How To Avoid Them
As I survey the speaker’s market I’ve become a tad weary willfully wearing the title "Motivational Speaker". All speakers worth their salt seek to motivate or cause action. Maybe it's just me, but does the mere mention of the term "Motivational...
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Dealing with Difficult People
You know, this would be a great business if it weren’t for having to deal with people all the time…
OK, so maybe I’ve exaggerated things a bit, but we’ve all certainly heard that saying before. Why does that sentiment ring true for so many folks? Obviously it’s because of all the people challenges we’re presented with in our business. Virtually every one of my clients over the years has brought up the subject of dealing with difficult people. There’s no escaping the fact that they come into everyone’s lives at one time or another. Sometimes they come in the form of an unhappy or hard-to-get-along-with client, customer, or co-worker. Sometimes they’re a person we report to or someone who reports to us. And sometimes they’re just someone we happen to come in contact with like a store clerk. Whoever they are, they can cause anxiety, frustration, concern, or anger in us and can even cause us to become like them – someone difficult to deal with.
Sometimes the best way to deal with a difficult person is to avoid them altogether – give them wide berth. But often we don’t have that option. The difficult person is someone we simply have to deal with. Most people would say that in those situations, we have three options. These options are: 1) Try to change ourselves, 2) Try to change the other person, and 3) Resolve to tolerate the situation – basically decide to put up with them. I’d like to suggest that there’s a fourth, very effective option as well – perhaps the most effective of the four options.
Let’s spend some time discussing these four options.
1) Try to Change Ourselves
Your first instinct might be, “Why should I be the one to change?” In fact quite often you’ll find that to be an appropriate response! Often there is nothing about what we do or say to cause the other person to be difficult. We are usually not the catalyst for their behavior. But sometimes we are. Haven’t you had people in your life who just rubbed you the wrong way? You’re fine around pretty much everyone else, but around a particular person, you get defensive, anxious, angry, and difficult to deal with? I think we all have. If you’ve had people in your life who cause you to become difficult or obstinate, then doesn’t it stand to reason that you may be causing that same reaction in someone? It’s in situations like this that we have to examine our own behaviors and reflect on whether we’re the cause. Frequently however, we’re blind to our shortcomings. We don’t see what we don’t see. How do you find out whether you’re the cause of the other person’s difficult behavior? Option 4 holds the answer.
2) Try to Change the Other Person
In Option 1 – Try to Change Ourselves – our initial instinct was to ask, “Why should I be the one to change?” Our first reaction was one of justification. Basically saying, “I’m not the one with the problem…” Guess what happens when we try to change the other person? You got it. They have the same reaction we would have had. Everyone feels justified in their behavior. No one intends to behave arbitrarily or irrationally. We always have a reason for acting the way we do. Attempting to force the other person to change doesn’t work. Just ask any spouse! No one will change anything about themselves until and unless they choose to do so. Option 4 holds the answer.
3) Decide to Put Up with Them
“Tolerate it.” “Just deal with it.” The only thing that accepting things the way they are accomplishes is to postpone a confrontation. Although this course of action (or inaction) appears to avoid a confrontation, in fact what it does is eliminate any chance of dialogue and replaces it with a certain confrontation down the road. Even though this path is frequently taken, it has some far-reaching unhappy consequences. Let’s talk about how it affects you, the other person, and your team.
You
You end up spending valuable energy by deciding to tolerate this person. It takes energy to deal with a poor situation – energy which you need for other, more positive and productive efforts. In addition, by tolerating this person, your attitude suffers. Although we decide to tolerate it, we don’t ignore it. By dwelling on the thing that irritates us so much, we give it fuel and we diminish our attitude. If you’re successful in your business you already know the importance of maintaining a positive attitude. Tolerating something that reduces our level of energy and our attitude is unacceptable.
The Other Person
Think
about this for a minute… No one sets out to do a poor job. Everyone starts out intending to do a good job. They have a positive attitude and high aspirations. Nevertheless, sometimes things change. They become complacent, lose interest, and experience a drop in attitude. Why is that? Has that ever happened to you? I believe it’s happened to each of us at some times during our career(s). If you reflect back to that time, you’ll find one of two reasons for this shift. One reason is that the work you were doing really didn’t interest you. One of the great revelations in life is that just because you’re good at something doesn’t mean you enjoy it. Think about the implications of this. It means that even if we’re really good at the work we do, we may actually find it unenjoyable. Do you think that situation would affect someone’s attitude? You bet. Work would become unfulfilling. The other reason we might have become complacent, lost interest, and experienced a drop in attitude is that we became disillusioned with someone or something. Perhaps our boss or our company did something which lacked integrity or perhaps what we thought was true turned out not to be. In situations where integrity is an issue is there a way to make things better? Not in the near term. Maybe never. In situations where the reality of the situation is a different one than was first imagined, is there a way to make things better? Maybe. Option 4 holds the answer.
Your Team
It never fails. A manager tolerates a difficult person for an extended time, hoping they’ll “come around” and hoping to avoid a confrontation. Then finally something happens – some event or challenge - and they feel they have no choice but to confront them which, by that point, leads to a termination. And then the manager is surprised at the number of team members who come forth and comment on what a drag on the team that person had been. They’ll speak up about their poor attitude or poor work ethic. And they’ll often add, “I don’t know why you kept them so long!” Don’t be fooled into thinking this difficult person was only affecting you. Your people are aware of most of the things going on around them, just like you are. When you don’t address a difficult person - when you decide to tolerate them - your whole team is affected. In addition, ask yourself this: What does it say about you as a leader and what does it say about your integrity? If you say you value a certain set of traits and then allow the opposite to exist, what does it say about you? Tolerating a difficult person doesn’t work in the long run.
4) Work to Understand Their Motivation
Option 4 - The key to success. This option is about being a leader and being an effective communicator. It’s about being compassionate and strong at the same time. It’s about being good for someone rather than being good to them. It’s about understanding rather than telling.
This solution is about taking the time to understand the other person’s motivation for acting the way they do. If you’re effective at this, you’ll be able to either help them change their perspective on things or help them to move on to something that better suits them. This solution is about helping people grow and maximize their talents.
How do you come to understand the motivation for their actions and attitude? Just ask. Ask why they act the way they do. Usually they’ll be more than happy to tell you. If their answer seems odd or incorrect, you need to keep asking questions to get at the heart of the issue so you can either shift their perspective or help them move on. Once you’re at the core issue you have the ability to make a difference in their life. It’s amazing what can come out of a sincere desire to help. How would you have felt if, at those times when you felt complacent with a poor attitude, someone took the time to listen to you and offer some other perspectives? How would your life be different today if someone helped you see yourself and/or your life differently? As a leader, you have the ability to make a difference in someone’s life.
About the Author
Written by Michael Beck, President of Exceptional Leadership, Inc. a firm which develops high-performance leaders through leadership enhancement and executive coaching. Michael can be reached at 877-977-8956 or mbeck@XLeaders.com , and you can learn more about the company and these ideas at www.XLeaders.com Permission to reprint with full attribution.
© 2004 Exceptional Leadership, Inc.
|
|
|
|
|
| Motivation - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia |
| Article giving an overview of the concept. Includes history, information on human psychological drives, and applications in business and education. |
| en.wikipedia.org |
|
| Motivation 123. Motivation Techniques & Tips for Your Happiness ... |
| Free Motivation Kit, techniques, tips, and ideas to help you achieve greater happiness and success. |
| www.motivation123.com |
|
| Motivation - the international disability charity Motivation |
| Motivation and other international organisations convene in Bangalore this ... Motivation is an international disability and development agency working in ... |
| www.motivation.org.uk |
|
| Motivation |
| Goal Setting is extremely important to motivation and success. So what motivates you? Why are you in college? If you are in college because that's what your ... |
| www.d.umn.edu |
|
| Employee motivation. Motivation in the workplace- theory and practice |
| Employee motivation in the workplace article. This article focus on aspects of employee motivation, theory and practice as applied to in the workplace and ... |
| www.accel-team.com |
|
| Motivation |
| Motivation Notecards pad. 6 notecards with envelopes pad ... Motivation Desktopper pad. Black brushed-aluminum frame with glass. (5"x7") pad ... |
| despair.com |
|
| Motivation Point. Motivation Advice for Your Achievement and Success |
| Motivation techniques and advice to help you achieve greater personal success in your life. |
| getmotivation.com |
|
| The Motivation Tool Chest |
| Motivation tips on self-development, workplace, leadership, at-risk youth, education. Example: People who have a vision control their destiny and lifestyle. |
| www.motivation-tools.com |
|
| Seven Rules of Motivation |
| Set a major goal, but follow a path. The path has mini goals that goes in many directions. When you learn to succeed at mini goals, you will be motivated to ... |
| www.motivation-tools.com |
|
| Motivation |
| MOTIVATION CHECKLIST. The following checklist may prove helpful in getting at the ... If you want to improve your motivation you may want to choose a ... |
| www.ucc.vt.edu |
|
| GENERAL PRINCIPLES OF MOTIVATION |
| Basic principles of motivation exist that are applicable to learning in any ... In a general learning situation, self-motivation without rewards will not ... |
| honolulu.hawaii.edu |
|
| TIP: Concepts |
| Weiner (1990) points out that behavioral theories tended to focus on extrinsic motivation (i.e., rewards) while cognitive theories deal with intrinsic ... |
| tip.psychology.org |
|
| Motivational Quotes, Motivational Quotations, motivation quotes ... |
| Motivational Quotes, Motivational Quotations, motivation quotes, inspirational quotations from Motivating Moments. Updated 2 times a week, ... |
| www.motivateus.com |
|
| Motivation - Atom Wiki |
| Motivation. Why are you doing this? RSS is [WWW] over five years old. It was designed for news sites, a way for them to list the stories they had. ... |
| www.intertwingly.net |
|
| Motivation & Inspiration from The Daily Motivator® |
| A brief, daily message of motivation and personal development, with an archive of more than 2000 previous messages. A positive approach to successful ... |
| greatday.com |
|
| Pages tagged with "motivation" on del.icio.us |
| by blowski to folksonomy marketing internet user generated content motivation theory business blog ... saved by 124 other people ... 3 mins ago ... |
| del.icio.us |
|
| Motivational and Inspirational Resources, Quotes, Short Stories ... |
| Free daily motivational & inspirational, quotes, short stories, messages, articles, thoughts, and poems designed to help you lead a happy and healthy life. |
| www.motivational-messages.com |
|
| Mental Help Net - Psychological Self-Tools - Online Self-Help Book ... |
| Methods For Changing Your Identity and Your Motivations ... There are two types of animal motivation: the motivation to approach something, ... |
| www.mentalhelp.net |
|
| Teambuilding Inc. Article - Team Motivation |
| Probably the first question to be answered in a discussion of motivation is ... Motivation in this case was lacking because the team’s purpose was not in ... |
| www.teambuildinginc.com |
|
| Learning Skills Program - Increasing Motivation |
| Motivation is a complex issue, with a number of causes and solutions -- many of which are of interest to university students, who usually know what they ... |
| www.coun.uvic.ca |
|
|