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How Is Your Intent Aligned With Your Impact
"But I didn't mean to hurt him!" Those of us who are parents
have heard our children use these words all too often in the
midst of rousing horseplay. Inevitably we respond with something
like, "Of course you didn't, but you still need to say you're
sorry. With our children, we try to convey the difference
between what we intend and the resultant impact of our actions.
We explain that even when we don't plan to harm others,
sometimes they end up getting hurt by what we do. Unfortunately,
this is an insight that often gets lost in our working lives.
In recent coaching discussions with a number of my clients, this
has been a common theme. Several have been addressing the
challenge of distinguishing between what they intend and how
they are actually perceived.
Michel* is a very caring and compassionate manager. His direct
report, Karly* is a very career-minded individual who is eager
to be promoted to the next level. Michel has been reluctant to
give Karly negative feedback because it might be hurtful to her.
The irony is that while Michel means well, he has ended up doing
a disservice to Karly because the behaviours that she has been
exhibiting are limiting her opportunities for career
advancement. Clearly this has a far more harmful and longer-term
impact than immediate pain of a tough conversation that might
help Karly to modify her approach.
Another executive with whom I've worked, Tina*, had prided
herself on protecting her direct reports from excessive demands
from head office. She also shielded them from having to give
presentations, involving significant preparation time, to the
head of the division. When I asked Tina how her "protection" was
serving her direct reports, particularly the manager who was
being groomed to be her successor, she was startled into seeing
the impact of her actions in a different light. Tina's intention
was noble... to enable her direct reports to get on with the
demands of their position unburdened by additional requests from
head office. Yet, in doing so, Tina was not equipping her
successor for the demands of his future position.
Coach's Question #1: How are you trying to "protect" someone at
work and in doing so potentially doing them a disservice?
Seeing the difference between our intentions and our impact is
often a matter of stepping into the other person's shoes to have
a fresh look at how we are viewed. Barry* is a very endearing
and compassionate person in one-on-one relationships. He leads a
large department with numerous direct reports. The supervisors
reporting to Barry were seeing him as cold and brusque. In
trying to deal with the heavy demands of his job and remain as
objective as possible in dealing each individual, Barry had
pulled back from spending much one-on-one time with the
supervisors reporting to him. They ended up seeing Barry having
no interest in them. Once Barry recognized the difference
between how he wanted to be seen as a leader and how he
was
being perceived, he was able to start mending relationships,
spend more one-on-one time with his direct reports and leverage
his time better by getting more accomplished through others.
Over time, his image as a leader shifted dramatically.
To assist employees in discovering how they are perceived, many
organizations implement 360-degree feedback processes in which
input is solicited from an employee's boss, peers and direct
reports. For some, the feedback can come as a shock. When
employees review the reports from such assessments, a common
reaction is to deny the results by saying "see, they don't know
who I really am....I'm not like that". Stepping back, of course,
we recognize that in our working lives, our intentions are not
enough...it's what people see and perceive that counts. When who
you are is not aligned with how people see you, there is a
critical disconnect that needs to be examined.
Coach's Question #2: What do you do to obtain feedback on how
you are perceived?
A final example of the importance of aligning intent with impact
is looking at communication within organizations. Issues related
to communication are some of the most common causes of annoyance
and confusion at work. It seems that the childhood game of
"broken telephone" is all too often replicated in our
workplaces. What we intend to say is not the same as what people
hear. It's as if we expect people to read our minds. George
Bernard Shaw noted that, "The greatest problem with
communication is the illusion that it has been accomplished".
When discussing communication challenges, some clients will look
at me with wonder asking, "What is it about these people that
they don't hear what I'm saying?" Eventually they are able to
look at the repeated pattern and see their own role in ensuring
that the impact of their communications has the desired intent.
Coach's Question #3: What can you do to check in on what people
are actually hearing you say?
OVER TO YOU for a self-reflection exercise....
What do you need to do over the next 2 months to create better
alignment between your intent and your impact?
I'm interested in hearing your stories about how you have
achieved this alignment or where you have noticed others around
you wrestling with this challenge. Send me an email with your
feedback or questions to sue@development-by-design.com
* all names and identifying details have been changed to protect
client confidentiality
About the author:
Susan Edwards is President of Development by Design, a Business
& Leadership Coaching and Human Resources Consulting firm. Her
Coaching clients are high potential leaders and profitable
business owners who are redefining the terms of their success
and taking their impact to a new level. She consults to Fortune
500 companies and smaller entrepreneurial organizations who are
also committed to creating extraordinary impact with their
customers, em
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