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Excel Works, But When Is Industry Specific Better?
There are many businesses in the sign & graphics industry currently using Microsoft Excel for quoting and tracking jobs. In fact you could be one of them. Under certain circumstances using Excel to manage these tasks could be an adequate way to...
Four Reasons to Set Group Goals Collaboratively
One of the tasks that come with being a leader is setting goals. Goals for ourselves, to be sure, but often we need set goals for our groups/teams or the larger organization. While we may instinctively know that we should include people in the...
Retirement Party Ideas
Ideas for a Retirement Party
If you're planning your boss's retirement party or maybe your
parents, here's a list of things you need to know before you
pull out that party hat.
1. Have a party theme
Think of a party theme that...
What To Do If Your Business Loan is Not Approved
Words that all business owners dislike hearing from a lender
are, "Sorry, we just can't approve your loan." It's frustrating
when your business loan is not approved, and it may feel like
your business ideas are now a hopeless venture. Rather...
Why Conventional Wisdom Is Almost Always Wrong!
Dear Friend and Subscriber:
I'd like to extend you a warm welcome to the first issue of my Quantum Leap Advantage®4® Internet Newsletter.
From time to time this newsletter, in addition to exposing you to well-tested and proven precepts...
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TEN STEPS TO MLM SUCCESS
First, here’s my tip of the day: There are proverbs etched on the bellies of those statues on Easter Island. And one of ‘em is: He who laughs at your stupid jokes is up to no good. (Remember that next time you go on a date.)
Now for the story: Markel didn’t want me to be left out of his latest ground floor business opportunity — something called Scamway — that’s been around since the serpent in Mel Gibson’s movie conned Eve.
So we showed up at Denny’s restaurant where a room full of glassy-eyed goofballs were pretending to be sharp business people. It reminded me of another Easter Island etching that says “Being doted on by a crowd of annoying scamsters is not a good thing.” That’s when I asked Markel if this was some kind of weird used-car salesmen cult. The whole room roared with laughter evoking eerie images of ugly statues.
The Chief Scamster arose to click his power point presentation about the time my Tex-Mex Chicken-in-a-Bagel Skillet arrived. Before Scamway came along, this guy said he lived on the edge of bankruptcy in a roach-infested trailer park. Now he lives in a 39-room, 4,000 square foot home on a lake. Geez, I thought, I wonder if that’s the same apartment building where Uncle Afred lives?
All you need do is enroll eight more people, he said while flailing his arms with help-I’m-being-attacked-by-a-swarm-of-wasps enthusiasm. “If you enroll eight people this week who enroll eight people who enroll eight people, in eleven short weeks all 6.4 billion inhabitants of the earth will be in your down line including Madonna and an extra 2 billion from some unknown galaxy.”
How could I refuse?
$29.95 buys my own business. “That’s less than a McDonald franchise,” he added.
For that I get the privilege to annoy my friends with a catalog full of Baptist-slash-Mormon looking models using over-priced detergent, vitamins and cosmetics in concentrate. And it comes in a handsome binder.
“Any questions?” he asked.
Silence.
“There are no stupid questions,” he added. (He’s never met Uncle Alfred.)
I like a challenge. So I asked, “If chickens don’t have noses, where do they keep their boogers?”
The woman across the table, named Hannibal-Lector-in-a-Dress, nodded. “Good question,” she said,
“I’ve always wondered that myself.”
“And what if I buy this stuff and find out its crap?”
The group chuckled at my naiveté.
“I cut my arm off a year ago and took some of these here vitamins,” one guy testified. “And whaddaya know?! My arm grew back. Hairs and all.”
Chief Scamster then told how to make the big bucks roll in.
First, be your own best customer. Dumping all your cleaning supplies, laundry detergent and cosmetics in the trash and replacing them with overpriced concentrate is a sure sign of financial genius, he explained. What’s more, it’s important to believe in your product.
Second, make a list of everyone you want to annoy. This includes friends, family, coworkers and everyone in the white pages from the three nearest towns.
Third, systematically annoy everyone on your list. Invite them out to dinner where they, too, can be immersed in a crowd of glassy-eyed, goofy-looking scamsters.
Fourth, act giddy. Phony enthusiasm is a proven sales gimmick, especially when coupled with idiotic product testimonials.
Fifth, emphasize the success potential by pointing out the vast number of gullible people who think they are all destined to be pyramid millionaires.
Sixth, ask your friends if they would like to quit their jobs and work part time for a six-figure income. (Don’t tell them that four of the six digits are to the right of the decimal.)
Seventh, never use words like “multi-level marketing” because someone may get the idea that your multi-level marketing scheme is a multi-level marketing scheme.
Eighth, project the image of success by buying a new Lexus. Getting in debt up to your glassy eyeballs is a tried-and-proven sales strategy.
Ninth, just think of all the stuff you can deduct from your income taxes, like one eighth of your bedroom if you use the corner for a home-office. Yes sir, you can pave your road to riches by wasting long hours for a tiny tax deduction.
Tenth, stay motivated by wasting an obscene amount of money on motivational tapes and CDs. Someday, when you hit the big time, you, too, can screw your down line out of thousands of dollars.
Next week. How to retire early buying lottery tickets.
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About the Author
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Oral Presentation Advice |
Your presentation should not replace your paper, but rather whet the ... Below I consider goals for academic interview talks and class presentations. ... |
www.cs.wisc.edu |
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Presentation Skills |
This site contains annotated links to resources concerned with presentation and communication skills. |
lorien.ncl.ac.uk |
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Presentation Helper - Free PowerPoint templates, help, advice and ... |
Resources on how to make effective presentations. Includes tips on PowerPoint and topic ideas. |
www.presentationhelper.co.uk |
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Neurobehavioral Systems, Inc. |
Neuroscience stimulus delivery software can be used for cognitive psychology, fMRI, erp and single unit research (Windows). |
nbs.neuro-bs.com |
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Why tables for layout is stupid: problems defined, solutions offered |
Why tables for layout is stupid:. problems defined, solutions offered. Tables existed in HTML for one reason: To display tabular data. ... |
www.hotdesign.com |
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The Gettysburg Powerpoint Presentation |
This presentation prepared with the help of Microsoft Powerpoint Autocontent Wizard. ... Permission is granted to use this presentation in any course or ... |
norvig.com |
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Presentation Zen |
I love the clear presentation of the ideas in the book and the fact that the ... In the context of presentations, moving info away can help you and the ... |
www.presentationzen.com |
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Presentation Tips for Public Speaking |
Better Public Speaking & Presentation - Ensure Your Words Are Always ... On the Job: Public Speaking Tips - Twelve Steps to Great Presentations by Elise ... |
www.aresearchguide.com |
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Presentation - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia |
Presentation is the process of presenting the content of a topic to an ... You should plan to rehearse your presentation out loud at least four times. ... |
en.wikipedia.org |
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OSCON 2005 Keynote - Identity 2.0 |
“A barn-burner of a presentation. I loved this.” - Cory Doctorow. “I watched it twice, and greatly enjoyed it both times.” - Jon Udell ... |
www.identity20.com |
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Presentations - Effective Communication - Public Speaking |
Tips and tools for creating and delivering presentations: text, techniques and technology. |
www.presentations.com |
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Presentation Information Resources - Presentation Technology News ... |
Presentation Information Resources - Comprehensive presenter's resource providing instant access to up-to-date information on technology and techniques for ... |
199.249.170.231 |
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Effective Presentations homepage |
In addition, the skills needed to prepare an oral presentation can be used ... A spiffy presentation discussing Effective Teaching with Powerpoint from the ... |
www.kumc.edu |
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Impress |
Your presentations will stand out with 2D and 3D clip art, special effects, animation, ... Slide show Animation and Effects bring your presentation to life. ... |
www.openoffice.org |
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PRESENTATIONPRO - experts for Microsoft PowerPoint |
A series of products and services to help enhance PowerPoint presentations with templates and backgrounds. |
www.presentationpro.com |
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Leadership - Presentation Skills |
Presentation, PowerPoint, and Leadership. ... Presentations and reports are ways of communicating ideas and information to a group. But unlike a report, ... |
www.skagit.com |
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Presentation: See what people are saying right now on Technorati |
See all blog posts tagged with presentation on Technorati. |
www.technorati.com |
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Secretary of State Addresses the U.N. Security Council |
My friends, this has been a long and a detailed presentation. And I thank you for your patience. But there is one more subject that I would like to touch on ... |
www.whitehouse.gov |
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Rubric |
Organization, Audience cannot understand presentation because there is no sequence of information. Audience has difficulty following presentation because ... |
www.ncsu.edu |
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Presentation Skills |
Presentations are one of the first managerial skills which a junior engineer ... This article looks at the basics of Presentation Skills as they might apply ... |
www.see.ed.ac.uk |
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