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"Divorce and Children: Things To Consider When You're Staying Married Only For Your Children"
All children are different and respond differently to divorce. Depending on the characteristics of the children - age, emotional maturity, happiness, resiliency to trauma - the easier or more difficult it will be for children to weather a divorce. ...
Emotional Freedom - At YOUR Fingertips!
What would you say if I told you I know of a simple method that can make emotional stress such as upset, anger, fear, concern and distress simply melt away in a few minutes and all you had to do to achieve this is simply touch a few "magical...
Finding Your Niche in Life
How to figure out your authentic niche in life -- and use that to really live your dreams.
Have you ever felt like the life you are living is not the one you originally had in mind? Back when you were a kid, there might have been other things...
See You in America
I remember when I was in high school, my friends and I used to talk about life in other countries especially in America. We found that place very interesting. We actually dreamed of going there someday.
That was our high school dream. A...
The War on Women
Merovingian/Secret Society Rituals: One of my fellow researchers on a site I have been involved with for a few years knows a lot more about genetics than I do. He says healthy genes have polarity that is harmonically tuned and this fits with many...
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Who Is A Compassionate Listener?
It is difficult to become a good listener who both validates the pain of the other, while maintaining the ability to look at themselves. Each person must listen compassionately to themselves and each other.
Within many relationships, rather than engaging in compassionate listening, many couples polarize. One partner is the voice of reason, the head, while the other partner is the voice of emotion, the heart. These patterns often create communication problems, which hardly begins to touch on the angst that can be felt between couples.
While, listening with both our hearts and our heads is valuable, neither is complete by itself, because listening with both makes one complete person. Someone who uses just their head while listening is using their intellect and knowledge, and when used individually, without the hearts part, it can be cold and indifferent. When listening with just the heart compassion turns into confused feelings.
A compassionate listener is someone who listens with both their head and their heart.
Here are traits of a compassionate listener:
1. They are commited to listening.
2. They have the intention of understanding, as deeply as possible, the message and concerns
of others.
3. They seek to understand the reality of another through both compassion and
understanding.
4. They refrain from verbal and nonverbal judgments.
5. They are physically and mentally ready to listen.
6. They validate their understanding of the other`s reality before expressing their opinion.
7. They create a balance between their head and their heart.
8. They remain present and are in the here and now.
9. They are open to new learning experiences about their own behaviors.
10. They self-evaluate and can laugh at themselves.
Copyright 2005 Linda Miles Ph.D
About the Author: Author, Dr. Linda Miles, is deeply committed to helping individuals and couples achieve rewarding relationships. She is an expert with a doctorate in Counseling Psychology, and has worked in the mental health field for over thirty years. She has been interviewed extensively on radio, TV, and in newspapers and magazines. Find more relationship ideas and relaxation techniques on her web site and in the award-winning book she co-authored, The New Marriage: Transcending the Happily-Ever-After Myth, and Train Your Brain: For Successful Relationships, CD. http://www.drlindamiles.com
Source: www.isnare.com
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