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Is a good bargain worth paying for?
Most of us love a bargain. But is it the joy of the chase or the joy of the purchase that really motivates us? Is a bargain hunt without all the trappings of hard work, negotiation, bluff and counter bluff any fun at all?
I hate to bargain....
Nurtured by Love or Matured by Nature?
“There is nothing new under the sun,” states Ecclesiastes 1:9. This is certainly true of the nature-nurture debate, the modern name for the ageless argument about the importance of learning in the development of the child. While...
Paradigmatic Parallels - part 1 - The Silent Word
A Non-Local interpretation of Prophecy
“There is more to the picture than meets the eye." The wisdom that emanates as aesthetics from a great artists painting not only coveys hidden messages of the artist, but it exudes information from an...
Race and Racism – Some Concepts Defined
Despite adamant claims to the contrary, racism continues to plague many peoples around the world. The first step toward resolving issues of racial intolerance and prejudice is to develop an understanding of the underlying concepts and their...
The Fable of the Elephant and the Woman Who Wasn't Blind
This isn’t the story about the four blind men and the elephant, this is the story of me looking at that 6 ton elephant in the zoo, tethered to that tiny stake, and wondering why on earth she doesn’t break loose. Instead she rocks back and forth...
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Who Is A Compassionate Listener?
It is difficult to become a good listener who both validates the pain of the other, while maintaining the ability to look at themselves. Each person must listen compassionately to themselves and each other.
Within many relationships, rather than engaging in compassionate listening, many couples polarize. One partner is the voice of reason, the head, while the other partner is the voice of emotion, the heart. These patterns often create communication problems, which hardly begins to touch on the angst that can be felt between couples.
While, listening with both our hearts and our heads is valuable, neither is complete by itself, because listening with both makes one complete person. Someone who uses just their head while listening is using their intellect and knowledge, and when used individually, without the hearts part, it can be cold and indifferent. When listening with just the heart compassion turns into confused feelings.
A compassionate listener is someone who listens with both their head and their heart.
Here are traits of a compassionate listener:
1. They are commited to listening.
2. They have the intention of understanding, as deeply as possible, the message and concerns
of others.
3. They seek to understand the reality of another through both compassion and
understanding.
4. They refrain from verbal and nonverbal judgments.
5. They are physically and mentally ready to listen.
6. They validate their understanding of the other`s reality before expressing their opinion.
7. They create a balance between their head and their heart.
8. They remain present and are in the here and now.
9. They are open to new learning experiences about their own behaviors.
10. They self-evaluate and can laugh at themselves.
Copyright 2005 Linda Miles Ph.D
About the Author: Author, Dr. Linda Miles, is deeply committed to helping individuals and couples achieve rewarding relationships. She is an expert with a doctorate in Counseling Psychology, and has worked in the mental health field for over thirty years. She has been interviewed extensively on radio, TV, and in newspapers and magazines. Find more relationship ideas and relaxation techniques on her web site and in the award-winning book she co-authored, The New Marriage: Transcending the Happily-Ever-After Myth, and Train Your Brain: For Successful Relationships, CD. http://www.drlindamiles.com
Source: www.isnare.com
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| Encyclopedia of Psychology - Psychology Websites |
| A hierarchical database of links to psychology resources. |
| www.psychology.org |
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| Psychology - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia |
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| Psychology Today: Find a Therapist and News to Use |
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| Social Psychology Network |
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| Psychology and mental health at Psych Central . |
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| Stanford Psychology Department |
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| APS Psychologist: Home |
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| Classics in the History of Psychology |
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| Internet Public Library: Psychology |
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