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"Divorce and Children: Things To Consider When You're Staying Married Only For Your Children"
All children are different and respond differently to divorce. Depending on the characteristics of the children - age, emotional maturity, happiness, resiliency to trauma - the easier or more difficult it will be for children to weather a divorce. ...
Online Dating 101 - The Basics
nline Dating 101 by Kevin Koger Feeling like there’s something that’s just not quite there yet in how you’re going about this whole online dating thing? Don’t feel bad, chances are you’re one of the many people who’re still pretty new to this gig....
Our Greatest Asset
When I think about wealth, immediately my mind thinks in terms of money, investments savings and those who are wealthy. When I hear reports of school shootings, children being tried and incarcerated for murder, drugs and a barrage of other crimes,...
The Evolution of Worry
The Evolution of Worry
Worry can spark action if you worry and realize a plan of action needs to be initiated-- and you act. Under those circumstance worry is serving you well.
Worry can spark your imagination. Sometimes having a cerebral cortex...
The New Marriage - Part One Of Four
If life is a journey across uncertain terrain, love is the mountain commanding the landscape. When you scale that mountain and survey the area, everything falls into place, and everything makes sense. You can see forever, and it all seems so simple....
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Why You Need Coaching to Learn Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence (EQ) is the ability to recognize your feelings and those of others, to motivate yourself, and to manage emotions well in yourself and others. (Goleman, 1995).
EQ can be learned, so of course we’re interested in how to measure it. Many of the tests are self-report, meaning individuals are asked to rate themselves in different categories.
The assessment Goleman created, the Emotional Competence Inventory (ECI) assesses 20 emotional competencies.
It’s probably already occurred to you that someone who isn’t very high in EQ wouldn’t be able to assess their own EQ very well, because it takes awareness.
In fact one of the scales on the ECI is called Accurate Self Assessment, and measures how aware the person is of their own strengths and weaknesses.
And, yes, it turns out in a study done by Michelle Burckle, that those who scored low in Accurate Self Assessment had much larger gaps between their views of themselves and other’s views of them.
And this is interesting – those who scored high in Accurate Self Assessment rate themselves slightly less emotionally intelligent than they are perceived. And conversely, those low in Accurate Self Assessment
tend to view themselves as more emotionally intelligent than others do.
Ms. Burckle concluded that self-assessments alone could be misleading, and multi-rater assessments would be more desirable in evaluating emotional intelligence.
I believe one could also conclude that a coach is a necessary part of the mix – to have the objectivity to gather the data, use the multi-rater assessments, observe the person in action, and help them learn with feedback.
The most salient result of the research was that we aren’t good at assessing our own emotional intelligence, and it follows that we also would not be good, alone, at changing it, observing the difference, and getting it right.
©Susan Dunn, MA Clinical Psychology, The EQ Coach, http://www.susandunn.cc . Emotional intelligence coaching for all areas of your life; affordable EQ coach training ( http://www.eqcoach.net ); resources: distance learning; ebooks ( http://www.webstrategies.cc/ebooklibrary.html ). Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for free ezine.
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