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Andropause and DHEA
Andropause and DHEA are a medical condition and its godsend cure meeting paving the way for a steady recovery. No, DHEA is not Andrea for short or a shampoo conditioner brand. It is a steroid hormone produced in the body. A lack of DHEA, known as...

Corporate Survival... How to manage yourself in the political playing field!
In my first corporate job, I had high expectations that promotions were based on a solid work ethic and quality production. I wanted to aim for the top and make it happen. Unfortunately, my ideas of corporate environment were inaccurate. As a grunt,...

Future Technology Quality may reflect past glories.
The Dark Side of the Moon, The Universe and everything. Last time we saw hardware turning somewhat towards mobile phones, with PCs still firmly entrenched. Today we will look at the future of non hardware based things to come. Increasingly,...

Stress Management: 10 Tips for Working Mothers
In my practice as a hypnotherapist, I have many clients who come to me for stress management. Many of those clients are working mothers who fret about the demands on their time: children, husband or partner, paid work and unpaid household chores all...

Stress Management By Relaxation
The method for stress management which I am going to show you below is actually a combination of two methods; a regular deep breathing exercise and Jacobsen's Progressive. Both are proven relaxation exercises and by combining them they function even...

 
The 7 Stages of a Romantic Relationship


There are seven stages in a romantic relationship: avoidance, meeting, dating, breaking up, establishing exclusivity, commitment, and keeping the love you find. Each of these stages vary in length and intensity. At each stage, there are thoughts and feelings telling you what to do and when to do it. You need to learn to listen to your intuition in each stage, so that you can make smart decisions.

It is important to note that the breaking up stage can happen at any time within the other stages; i.e., at any time you or the other person decides to exit the relationship for whatever reason.

In all seven stages, you always have these choices:

1. Continue moving forward

2. Stagnate

3. Slow down or go backwards

4. Exit

By taking notice of the signals from your head and heart, you will be better able to interpret what your intuition is telling you. At each stage, consider, “What am I thinking and feeling?” Are you receiving conflicting messages? Is your head saying one thing and your heart another? This is often the case, particularly in romantic relationships. What happens is there is an agreement error, a contrast between your thoughts and your feelings. This is perfectly normal. Just remember that you have your very own internal system of checks and balances. This system was designed to keep you safe. For the moment, it is temporarily out of order, probably due to stimulation overload. So, before making any decision at this time, go somewhere quiet’ the answers will come with reflection and focus.

Once the answer comes, you should act quickly so you do not have time to doubt your decision. You should never feel trapped or unable to choose what is right for you. If at any time you do feel this way, then that is a good sign that something is not right with the relationship. You then need to examine what it is that is holding you back. If it turns out to be the other person, you are probably better off leaving the relationship.

A smart way to make important stage decisions is to mutually agree on what to do next. After all, “if it is meant to be, it will be,” so you may as well start out making important decisions together. Couples who have good relationships know that it takes time to build their love. They make a conscious effort to progress slowly and purposefully through each stage, enjoying the process, while allowing their love to develop naturally.

Communicating with each other is essential to this process. You should be open and honest about your concerns and fears, so that you can trust that everything has been said and understood by both parties. Even if you find that things aren’t what you would have hoped for, at least you know what is going on and then you can work on making it better.

Levels of Love

Most of us have experienced love blindness. We either think we love someone or do not realize until it is too late that we actually did love someone. You do not have to be blinded by love. You have the power to recognize it, but you must use smart decision-making skills to avoid making fatal relationship mistakes. In this section, work on waking up your awareness so that you will act in “knowing.” The first step is to become familiar with the stages of relationships and the corresponding levels of love that


you or your partner will most likely experience.

Relationship Avoidance Stage

“I do not desire love”

Goal: to prepare yourself for love

Characterized by non-interest

Meeting Stage

“I am open to finding love”

Goal: to prospect for the possibility of love in others

Characterized by anticipation

Dating Stage

“I hope to find love”

Goal: to pre-qualify for a potential partner

Characterized by uncertainty

(These three stages represent being single and the importance of using the “Screen-out” process.)

Breaking Up Stage

“I no longer have love with this person”

Goal: to let go of the person/love

Characterized by disappointment/relief

(Breaking up is a transitional stage.)

Exclusivity Stage

“I think this is love”

Goal: to further qualify the person to see if she/he might be a good match

Characterized by excitement

Commitment Stage

“I know this is love”

Goal: to close the deal

Characterized by confidence

Keeping the Love You Find Stage

“I want to keep this love”

Goal: to preserve the love you have found

Characterized by continuous commitment

(These three stages represent being involved and the importance of using the “Screen-in” process.)

The key is to consciously place yourself in each stage. For example, if you decide you want to be in the “dating stage” then be fully present and make a true effort to make yourself available for dating. If, however, you find that your heart isn’t in it, and that you would rather avoid relationships, then you need to stop and consciously put yourself back in that stage. This will help you to stay clear on what you want and enable you to honestly communicate to others "where you are at.” Each level and stage of the relationship is a transition and involves psychological and emotional energy. As you progress through each level, you will no doubt experience excitement and anxiety, hope and fear, arousal and dis-arousal, certainty and uncertainty, along with a myriad of other feelings. You will need to work hard at balancing the messages that you are receiving from both your head and your heart to most accurately interpret the incoming, overwhelming information—it is very easy! to be misled.

***This article is adapted from the book, Get Smart! About Modern Romantic Relationships: Your Personal Guide to Finding Right and Real Love by Michelle L. Casto

Michelle L. Casto is a whole life coach, speaker, and author of Get Smart! About Modern Romantic Relationships, Get Smart! About Modern Career Development, and Get Smart! About Modern Stress Management. Her coaching practice is Brightlight Coaching, she helps people come up with bright ideas for their life and empowers them to freely shine their bright light to the world. Contact her for a free 30 minute coaching session: www.getsmartseries.com and www.brightlightcoach.com


coach@getsmartseries.com


 

Stress Management Tips and Techniques from Mind Tools
More than 100 stress management tips and techniques, helping you manage the job-related stress in your life.
www.mindtools.com
 
Stress Management Techniques, Stress Relief & Stress Reduction ...
Mind Tools helps you manage the causes of stress and teaches useful stress management techniques.
www.mindtools.com
 
Stress Management
Stress Management. What is Stress? Stress is the "wear and tear" our bodies experience as we adjust to our continually changing environment; it has physical ...
www.ivf.com
 
Stress Management: Information and Resources on Stress From About.com
Find a wide variety of stress management strategies you can use in your daily life. Learn about the causes and effects of stress, healthy and effective ...
stress.about.com
 
Stress Management
Links to stress management information on the web.
www.pp.okstate.edu
 
Links to Stress Related Resources
Return to the Stress Management and Emotional Wellness Page ... Cognitive Restructuring Approaches to Stress Management ...
www.imt.net
 
International Stress Management Association(UK)
The leading professional body for stress management. The ISMA website has articles from their journal Stress News, links and general advice on lifestyle and ...
www.isma.org.uk
 
Stress Management for Patient and Physician
Stress management for patient and physician. Stress is the most common cause of ill health, probably underlying as many as 70% of all visits to family ...
www.mentalhealth.com
 
Stress Management: Counseling Services, University at Buffalo
The description on stress management. ... Stress Management. Introduction Stress is a part of day to day living. As college students you may experience ...
ub-counseling.buffalo.edu
 
Stress Management and Anxiety Relief
Welcome to stressmanagement.co.uk - We specialise in managing your stress.
www.stressmanagement.co.uk
 
Stress Management for effective ways to manage stress
Our stress management services allows you to find the solutions to all types of stress. We also have professional stress management counsellors available 7 ...
www.stressmanagement.com.au
 
Stress Management--UIUC Counseling Center
Self-help Brochures. What is Stress? Stress is the "wear and tear" our bodies experience as we adjust to our continually changing environment; ...
www.couns.uiuc.edu
 
The Stress Management Society
Congratulations to taking the first step to freedom from the stress trap. This is the place to learn more about stress and its management.
www.stress.org.uk
 
Stress management - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Stress management encompasses techniques intended to equip a person with effective ... Definition of stress: Stress management defines stress precisely as a ...
en.wikipedia.org
 
Stress
Stress Management. Everyone experiences stress from time to time, so it is perfectly normal ... Fortunately, stress management is largely a learnable skill. ...
www.cyberpsych.com
 
SBC Academic Resource Center | Stress Management
With stress management training, you can learn to avoid procrastination and other stress-producing situations. Stress Quiz: How Stressed Are You? ...
www.arc.sbc.edu
 
Mind Tools - How to Master Stress
3. Stress Management Techniques. Raising Stress Levels - Psyching Up · Stress Reduction Techniques · Reducing Short-Term Stress - Mental Techniques ...
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Stress, stress management, occupational stress, stress prevention ...
A recent survey showed that 70-90% of us feel stressed at work and outside. Unless we learn to manage stress, we will get sick.
www.holisticonline.com
 
HSE - Stress Management Standards Homepage
The International Stress Management Association has produced a leaflet showing how employees can work with their employers to tackle work-related stress ...
www.hse.gov.uk
 
Stress Management Tips for Stressed and Overworked People.
Free weekly stress management tips and relaxation CD plus practical resources for stressed people.
www.stresstips.com
 
 

 

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