Search
Related Links

 

 

Informative Articles

Going Offshore For Asset Protection
There are a number of key reasons why individuals and businesses consider going offshore for asset protection purposes. The asset protection advantages the offshore world offers extend from protecting a business from excessive taxation to opening...
How to Qualify a Buyer
How to Qualify a Buyer Does your customer or client need to be pre-qualified? I am a licensed Real Estate broker and Loan officer and here is how I did it before becoming a loan officer. No matter the state; math is still math. However, an agent...
Save Money on Taxes - Double Your Income Now With Tax Saving Tips on Deductions
Adding Your First Additional Stream of Income Most new wealth builders currently have a full-time job. After realizing that means “Just ----Over Broke” they commit to quitting their job and starting their own business. The concept is good, but...
Tax Advantages In A Home Business
Every year, several thousand people develop an interest in "going into business." Many of these people have an idea, a product or a service they hope to promote into an in come producing business which they can operate from their own homes. ...
The Millionaire's Favorite Author
YOU WON'T FIND W.G. HILL ON ANY BEST SELLER LISTS, BUT IT'S HARD TO FIND A MILLIONAIRE WHO HASN'T READ MOST OF HIS $100 "SPECIAL REPORTS". Hill's Low Profile -- The name W.G. Hill isn't bandied around much in the book-publishing world. No...
 
TEN STEPS TO MLM SUCCESS

First, here’s my tip of the day: There are proverbs etched on the bellies of those statues on Easter Island. And one of ‘em is: He who laughs at your stupid jokes is up to no good. (Remember that next time you go on a date.)

Now for the story: Markel didn’t want me to be left out of his latest ground floor business opportunity — something called Scamway — that’s been around since the serpent in Mel Gibson’s movie conned Eve.

So we showed up at Denny’s restaurant where a room full of glassy-eyed goofballs were pretending to be sharp business people. It reminded me of another Easter Island etching that says “Being doted on by a crowd of annoying scamsters is not a good thing.” That’s when I asked Markel if this was some kind of weird used-car salesmen cult. The whole room roared with laughter evoking eerie images of ugly statues.

The Chief Scamster arose to click his power point presentation about the time my Tex-Mex Chicken-in-a-Bagel Skillet arrived. Before Scamway came along, this guy said he lived on the edge of bankruptcy in a roach-infested trailer park. Now he lives in a 39-room, 4,000 square foot home on a lake. Geez, I thought, I wonder if that’s the same apartment building where Uncle Afred lives?

All you need do is enroll eight more people, he said while flailing his arms with help-I’m-being-attacked-by-a-swarm-of-wasps enthusiasm. “If you enroll eight people this week who enroll eight people who enroll eight people, in eleven short weeks all 6.4 billion inhabitants of the earth will be in your down line including Madonna and an extra 2 billion from some unknown galaxy.”

How could I refuse?

$29.95 buys my own business. “That’s less than a McDonald franchise,” he added.

For that I get the privilege to annoy my friends with a catalog full of Baptist-slash-Mormon looking models using over-priced detergent, vitamins and cosmetics in concentrate. And it comes in a handsome binder.

“Any questions?” he asked.

Silence.

“There are no stupid questions,” he added. (He’s never met Uncle Alfred.)

I like a challenge. So I asked, “If chickens don’t have noses, where do they keep their boogers?”

The woman across the table, named Hannibal-Lector-in-a-Dress, nodded. “Good question,” she said,


“I’ve always wondered that myself.”

“And what if I buy this stuff and find out its crap?”

The group chuckled at my naiveté.

“I cut my arm off a year ago and took some of these here vitamins,” one guy testified. “And whaddaya know?! My arm grew back. Hairs and all.”

Chief Scamster then told how to make the big bucks roll in.

First, be your own best customer. Dumping all your cleaning supplies, laundry detergent and cosmetics in the trash and replacing them with overpriced concentrate is a sure sign of financial genius, he explained. What’s more, it’s important to believe in your product.

Second, make a list of everyone you want to annoy. This includes friends, family, coworkers and everyone in the white pages from the three nearest towns.

Third, systematically annoy everyone on your list. Invite them out to dinner where they, too, can be immersed in a crowd of glassy-eyed, goofy-looking scamsters.

Fourth, act giddy. Phony enthusiasm is a proven sales gimmick, especially when coupled with idiotic product testimonials.

Fifth, emphasize the success potential by pointing out the vast number of gullible people who think they are all destined to be pyramid millionaires.

Sixth, ask your friends if they would like to quit their jobs and work part time for a six-figure income. (Don’t tell them that four of the six digits are to the right of the decimal.)

Seventh, never use words like “multi-level marketing” because someone may get the idea that your multi-level marketing scheme is a multi-level marketing scheme.

Eighth, project the image of success by buying a new Lexus. Getting in debt up to your glassy eyeballs is a tried-and-proven sales strategy.

Ninth, just think of all the stuff you can deduct from your income taxes, like one eighth of your bedroom if you use the corner for a home-office. Yes sir, you can pave your road to riches by wasting long hours for a tiny tax deduction.

Tenth, stay motivated by wasting an obscene amount of money on motivational tapes and CDs. Someday, when you hit the big time, you, too, can screw your down line out of thousands of dollars.

Next week. How to retire early buying lottery tickets.

###

About the Author

None

 

Internal Revenue Service
The US government agency responsible for tax collection and tax law enforcement. Includes income tax forms, instructions, and agency publications.
www.irs.gov
 
Tax Information for Individuals
Access to useful information, booklets and other tools from the Internal Revenue Service.
www.irs.gov
 
Tax Center - Yahoo! Finance - Tax forms, tips and calculators.
Yahoo! Finance: Tax - Find all the resources you need for tax season. Review recent tax law changes, estimate your taxes, find tax tips and expert answers ...
tax.yahoo.com
 
Taxes: Tax Planning, Tools and Advice - MSN Money
Microsoft's Tax Preparation site, in association with Tax Server.
moneycentral.msn.com
 
Tax - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Governments use different kinds of taxes and vary the tax rates: ... Taxes are most often levied as a percentage, called the tax rate, of a certain value, ...
en.wikipedia.org
 
H&R Block | Taxes, Online Tax Preparation, Tax Software, Filing ...
Offers online and in-person tax preparation and tax software, mortgages, brokerage and financial services, consumer tips and tax planning information.
www.hrblock.com
 
TaxCut Online | H&R Block | Online Taxes, File Taxes Online ...
File your Taxes online with TaxCut Online. Learn how to file taxes online here.
www.hrblock.com
 
Income Taxes, Tax Returns, Refunds, Deductions and E-File Software ...
Popular tax preparation software by Intuit. Integrates with Quicken, spreadsheets and offers state by state electronic filing.
turbotax.intuit.com
 
Taxes & Estates, Tax and Estate Planning Advice - Forbes.com
Personal Finance - Get tax and estate planning advice and information from Forbes.com.
www.forbes.com
 
Essential Links to Taxes
TurboTax Premier For Federal Returns 2005 Win/Mac, TurboTax Total Tax Solution Deluxe 2005 with State Win/Mac, TurboTax Basic 2005 Win/Mac... ...
www.el.com
 
Government > Taxes in the Yahoo! Directory
Yahoo! reviewed these sites and found them related to Government > Taxes.
dir.yahoo.com
 
Taxes - Tax News for Home and Business from CNNMoney
The latest in tax law updates, news, forms & advice from CNNMoney.com. Includes a refund savings calculator, and interactive tax lessons.
money.cnn.com
 
The Tax Foundation - Educating Taxpayers Since 1937
Devoted to educating taxpayers about tax policy and the total tax burden borne by Americans at all levels of government.
www.taxfoundation.org
 
Welcome to the Vermont Department of Taxes
Welcome to the Vermont Department of Taxes... ... Changes to Property Tax Adjustments in 2007 - updated 10/18. - Tax Expenditures Transition Report on ...
www.state.vt.us
 
Franchise Tax Board Homepage
The department that collects state personal income taxes and bank and corporation taxes for the State of California. Access to forms and tax information.
www.ftb.ca.gov
 
HM Revenue & Customs: Home Page
News and information on tax and national insurance, including downloadable leaflets and forms and the latest news on filing tax returns on-line.
www.hmrc.gov.uk
 
State and Local Tax
Piper Resources; State Tax Rates and Structure ...Federation of Tax Administrators; State Payroll Taxes Information ...Symmetry Software ...
www.taxsites.com
 
Quicken.com
www.quicken.com/taxes/ - 3k - Cached - Similar pages
 
Tax news and advice from Bankrate.com
Information on all phases of tax planning and preparation.
www.bankrate.com
 
Online Tax Advice - Tax Preparation Help - Income Tax Tips
Income Tax Tips - MarketWatch offers online tax advice and tips. ... IRS inflation adjustments mean tax break on next year's taxes. ...
www.marketwatch.com
 
 

 
Content Menu
  • 10 ways to find the money hiding in your paycheck

  • 1 001 deals and steals a guide to online classifieds

  • 23 things to say when someone wants to pick your brain

  • 33 essential year end financial tasks

  • 4 bulletproof strategies that let real estate professionals cut their federal taxes

  • 4 simple steps to reduce your taxes

  • 50 unbelievable benefits of joint venture marketing

  • 5 magic points should i buy or rent my home

  • 5 things about offshore asset protection every internet marketer should know

  • 5 ways to protect your bond portfolio from rising interest rates

  • 7 cash flow secrets your accountant never told you

  • 7 financial strategies for transitioning from salaried to solo

  • 7 secrets to writing inventory procedures

  • adjustable vs fixed rate mortgages

  • advantages and disadvantages of a reverse mortgage

  • an introduction to incorporating in florida

  • an introduction to taxes how you pay and file

  • are you an innocent victim of these popular myths

  • are you overpaying taxes if you use tax preparation software

  • are you ready to own and operate a business

  • are you tired of tenants toilets and trash

  • auto loans dont dig a money pit in your garage

  • a look at small business incorporating in florida

  • a singles game of real estate

  • a source is a source of course of course

  • bankruptcy basics

  • basic home loan terms explained

  • basic steps to start a laminate flooring business

  • beating taxes inflation

  • begging your trust in africa

  • business or hobby what would the irs call your business

  • buying a business

  • buying new construction how do i begin

  • buying overseas property

  • buy now retire later an investment in your dreams

  • cafeteria plan employee benefit should be another feather in your benefit programs cap

  • can nurses be entrepreneurs

  • chattanooga mortgage

  • child and dependent care credit can help you save on your taxes

  • coming to a business like yours webware

  • conditions are right for buying the higher priced home youve always wanted

  • control health care costs and save taxes

  • corporations failing to claim amt exemption overpay taxes by 11 000

  • corruption and transparency

  • creating time the virtual way how virtual assistants are simplifying life for small business owners

  • credit counseling or bankruptcy which is best for you

  • currencies taxes and citizenship

  • cut your taxes and receive a 5000 refund start a home based business

  • deadlines approaching for filing 1099s for independent contractors

  • death and taxes two certainties of life

  • death taxes

  • death taxes and the non automated phone systems

  • debt settlement income taxes what you need to know

  • debunking the fafsa myth

  • defining a long term investment in the stock market

  • disaster decision do you need insurance

  • dont wait for tax time to look at the bottom line

  • do the hardest thing first and the rest will be easy

  • do your own taxes

  • do you need a financial planner

  • do you pay taxes on ebay income

  • economic survival in the 21st century the three key questions to ask

  • eight ways to consolidate debt

  • email scam warnings

  • employment taxes depositing with the irs

  • employment taxes what are they

  • entrepreneurs ask what can a virtual assistant do for me

  • escrow accounts are you paying too much

  • euro tax haven threat

  • facts of day trading

  • failure to pay employment taxes penalties

  • find the right service to prepare your taxes

  • five tips for first time entrepreneurs

  • five ways to improve your bottom line

  • getting a second extension to file 2004 taxes

  • getting help with your taxes

  • get off to a great start with the right credit card

  • get real about home businesses

  • global communications and offshore company formations

  • going offshore for asset protection

  • go multinational

  • hiring a virtual assistant can help your business grow

  • home based business owners save thousands on their taxes

  • home based business taxes where to find answers

  • home based business tax deductions

  • home based business tax tips

  • home based business your ultimate tax shelter

  • home business legalities and tax advantages

  • home business tax tips

  • how can the average person build wealth in real estate

  • how much do you really need to make as a wahm

  • how to avoid getting disastrously dot conned online

  • how to check the status of your tax refund online

  • how to choose the proper entity for your business

  • how to drive the irs crazy

  • how to get an extension to file your business tax returns

  • how to make good use of spreadsheets

  • how to make the most of an at home money making business opportunity

  • how to maximize your home business tax deductions for 2005

  • how to minimize your taxes on wealth

  • how to qualify a buyer

  • how to raise money for starting a business

  • how to realistically set your fees part 1

  • how to realistically set your fees part 2

  • how to realistically set your fees part 3

  • how to realistically set your fees part 4

  • how to refinance your home

  • how to save taxes with an s corporation

  • how to set up a pre tax insurance cafeteria plan benefit

  • how to start a house cleaning business in 7 simple steps

  • how to start a successful business

  • how to start investing for financial independence part 1

  • how to start investing for financial independence part 2

  • how to start your own business and be successful

  • how to touch the hands of greatness

  • how to turn business losses into cash flow

  • how to use outsourcing to beat your competition

  • hurricane katrina how to use your business loss to get a refund on 2004 taxes

  • identity theft is your business at risk

  • index

  • innocent spouses relief from taxes

  • insiders guide to snaring the best lease deal

  • international shipping freight for dummies

  • international support microsoft great plains var partner selection overview for v p it

  • internet marketing and your old age

  • interview with ron mead the secret goldmine of probate real estate

  • investors avoid these 5 common tax mistakes

  • is 100 annual return on investments possible with low risk land investments

  • is vacation rental ownership your business opportunity

  • is your business idea feasible

  • ive heard about facta what does it mean

  • i cant pay my taxes what do i do

  • i wanna hold your hand first time homebuyers

  • keeping your businesss finances on track

  • keeping your own money not handing it over to the taxman

  • keep more of what you make start a home based business

  • little known tax deductions that can save you big

  • local taxes

  • long term energy outook

  • look past the bottom line for a propertys investment potential

  • look past the bottom line for a propertys potential

  • love the thrill of risk invest in an annuity

  • military reservists enlistees may get deferral of back taxes

  • monaco might lose its status of personal income tax haven

  • my house is the best contest is over

  • my top ten tips for selling travel on ebay

  • negotiating real estate deals to win win

  • new trends create an alternative to hiring employees

  • nine advance networking skills for seasoned networkers

  • no income verification home equity loan

  • nursing shortage here is what some hospitals are doing

  • online home equity loans a basic glossary

  • outsourcing and your business

  • payroll taxes

  • personal training 3 keys to training clients in their homes

  • personnel records the paperwork nightmare

  • preparing for your tax interview the what to bring checklist

  • professional transcription and your business

  • protecting the tax advantage of your deferred compensation

  • real estate auction action buying a home at auction

  • real estate closing costs exposed

  • real estate investors dont close your eyes to closing costs

  • real estate investors remember the impound cash

  • real estate remains a strong investment

  • reducing debt before its too late how to avoid the pitfalls of creeping debt

  • relocating for retirement which realtor can help you

  • review small business taxes made easy

  • rotator

  • rrifs death taxes

  • save money on taxes double your income now with tax saving tips on deductions

  • selling your business a tool to reduce taxes

  • selling your technology company why earnouts make sense today

  • sell a business deal structure and taxes

  • seven key tax deductions for the self employed

  • seven ways to save on taxes next year

  • shocking experienced copywriter reveals little known secrets to closing big ticket deals

  • single and multi owner llc taxes

  • small business tax deductions for year end 2004

  • small business tax tips product review of tax reduction toolkit

  • small business valuation primer

  • so you want to be a freelancer heres how

  • starting a business what new and existing business owners should know

  • state taxes

  • student credit cards 101

  • student home purchase plan

  • success tip making your business look bigger to your customers

  • survey says telecommuting ranks high on job seekers list

  • take back your time

  • taxes as a competitive advantage in the global economy

  • taxes made easy for your home based business

  • taxes taxes taxes who really pays the most

  • tax advantages in a home business

  • tax trap 1 waiting to incorporate what a difference a date can make

  • ten steps to mlm success

  • ten ways to become a mulitmillionaire

  • the 8 biggest mistakes when designing portfolios and how to avoid them

  • the basics of business record keeping

  • the benefits of incorporating in florida

  • the benefits of incorporating your business

  • the business failed but did you

  • the cost of going public in the united states

  • the millionaires favorite author

  • the most overlooked way to legally decrease taxes in 2005

  • the secret science of online shopping

  • the seven cs partnership danger signs the 5th c control issues

  • the true cost of self employment

  • things your mother never told you closing costs

  • this year try using tax software to file your taxes

  • tips and simple guidelines on how to calculate payroll taxes

  • top 10 things to consider on home loans

  • truly bizarre taxes the tax on illegal drugs

  • uncle sam is ready are you organizing tips for tax time

  • understanding employee taxes

  • understanding financial statements when approaching lenders

  • use your cell phone trial period to test your plan here are some guidelines

  • venture leasing a smarter way to build enterprise value

  • virtual assistance a money saving opportunity for employers

  • virtual assistance for healthcare professionals

  • wealth creation and mortgage planning two great tastes that taste great together

  • whats it worth

  • what are the taxes on earnings

  • what does extending your taxes mean to you

  • what is a home based travel agent

  • what is the best entity

  • what is the key to slashing your taxes

  • what to expect in closing costs on a home purchase

  • who wants to be a millionaire

  • why a collection agency is your small businesss best friend

  • why does facta matter to me

  • why one should chose a network marketing home base

  • why pay taxes see how not to just kidding

  • why small businesses fail or fail to thrive

  • why to start business in ukraine

  • why work from home

  • working with your real estate attorney

  • work from home in 3 easy steps

  • year end tax planning and preparation for businesses tax tips for 2004