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15 Key Questions About Writing Your Own Tips Booklet
Everyone has something they want the world to know about and a tips booklet is a great way to do that. More than 500,000 copies in three languages of a tips booklet called '110 Ideas for Organizing Your Business Life' have been sold, all without...
Six Tips for your Writing Journey
So, you'd like to be a writer? Congrats! Writing not only is a great way to express yourself, but can provide an income. Keep in mind not all writers make a fortune, some still cant quit their day job. Below are some tips to start your writing...
What a C.I.A. Black Ops Officer Taught Me About Copywriting
When I was in the Air Force, I had the opportunity to attend a
very "special" training course taught by very "special"
instructors.
One of my instructors was a former Navy S.E.A.L. who had left the
Navy to join the C.I.A. as a special...
What's So Different About Writing Web Copy?
To write persuasive web copy, it really is an advantage to know how to successfully write for off-line publications. Because Copywriting techniques that work off-line, also work equally well on-line! We have to make some changes of course to...
Writing Web Copy That SELLS - How It Compares With Offline Copy
Whoever said "long copy" doesn't work on the web obviously doesn't know how to sell online. In fact, online marketers are making an absolute fortune with web pages spanning 1200 or more words used to sell their software and manual products. There's...
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Writing for Mediocrity
A while back, an Internet wit compiled a list of signs that you're not spending enough time online. One sure sign is that poor spelling and grammar still bother you. Good one!
Unfortunately, there are no online grammar police just you and me, voluntarily dotting our own "i"s and crossing our own "t"s. And since you want to go forth and prosper as an Internet business, you're taking the time to do it, right?
After all, as author Virginia Shea pointed out in her online book Netiquette, "On the Web, you won't be judged by the color of your skin, eyes or hair, your weight, your age, or your clothing. You will, however, be judged by the quality of your writing."
Okay, maybe these days, people aren't as picky as they once were about speaking and writing perfectly. Whether that's okay or not, is up for debate. But if you lose coherency as a result well, that's going to cost you money and that's not negotiable, is it?
But, for those of you with too many clients and too much money, here are a few guidelines on writing for mediocrity:
1. Do not under any circumstances use the spell check function or have someone else proofread your text before uploading it. That wood be a horendus waist of time and serbs no porpoise.
2. If you don't have valuable content, don't worry just substitute fancy fonts, busy wallpaper and lots of blinking banners. Your visitors will be so distracted they won't notice you have nothing to say.
3. If you quote someone, don't bother to get their permission or spell their name correctly. Why? See rule #1.
4. Exclamation marks rule!!! Your readers have likely never seen this tactic before and so will think that urgent punctuation (!!!) requires urgent action (!!!) on their part.
5. Don't be afraid of large blocks of text. Readers see that dense copy and say
to themselves: "Oh goody, I was just running short of things to read!"
6. Bury your lead. This is an old journalism trick practiced by old journalists who couldn't remember the point of their story. This delightful writing style requires your readers to plow through a slagheap of details before reaching the "gold nugget". Internet users are patient creatures with nowhere else to go, so don't hesitate to ramble on and on aimlessly.
7. If you want your readers to take a specific action such as order a product or "click here", don't state that outright. Subtlety is best. Give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they'll know what they're supposed to do.
8. Which brings us to tone. Your written tone of voice is very important. You never want your readers to suspect that a real live person is standing behind their words or, worse yet, standing behind their product. Just pretend you are a robot and the writing will come much easier.
9. Consistently utilize a preponderance of gargantuan words, even in localities where a more diminutive congregation of characters would be sufficient. This method, employed with great success by lawyers, will convince your humble readers that you are infinitely smarter than they are and they will buy your product or service out of sheer gratitude.
By following the above guidelines in writing your text, you'll be moving the world one step closer to the day when the entire web is a syntax-free zone and professional writers (like me) spend our days fishing cigarette butts out of bus station ashtrays.
About the Author
Heather Reimer has been involved in print and electronic journalism for over 15 years and is currently the Creative Copy Editor for iGlobalMedia.com, a leading edge affiliate management company. You can visit them at www.iglobalmedia.com.
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