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How To Get Lucky
Would you like to get lucky? There are at least a dozen ways. The simplest one is to just start looking for good luck. Have you ever noticed that when you buy a new car, you start to see similar cars all over? They were there, of course, but...
Lower Your Risk of Stress Related Disease While Relaxing at Home.
Stress is a normal part of daily life.  However poorly managed stress can lead to a variety of health issues such as emotional, psychological and even physical problems.  The physical issues that can arise from high stress levels include coronary...
Mindfulness and Retirement: Time To Play
I have a 17-year-old daughter who is finishing up a year in Vitoria, Brazil. She's been having the time of her life in a gorgeous coastal city with the beaches of her dreams and the cute guys to match. What's not to like? Tara told us that we...
The Frequency of Love
There’s a new channel playing all throughout the galaxies, ringing crystal clear through the messenger of light, zinging all up & down the multiverses. Now that the connection has been activated, into the new energy, we have our own personal...
Will Yoga Help You Lose More Weight?
I suppose it was only a matter of time before the mass marketing about diet and fitness and weight loss caught up with Yoga. After all, Yoga is certainly going through a period of resurgance - not the first, as these things typically move in...
 
Rationalization

Rationalization: "The devising of self-satisfying but false reasons for one's behavior." Sometimes we don't know why we do what we do, and perhaps such ignorance is okay, or should be. Our temptation is always to explain, but that often does nothing useful. In fact, it can just get in the way of actual understanding.

Rationalization - A Clinical Example

When John went to the hypno-therapist, he was hypnotised, and given the post-hypnotic instruction to get up and put on his coat whenever the therapist touched his nose. Once he was out of the trance, they began to talk. The therapist scratched his nose at some point in the conversation, and John immediately stood up and put on his coat.

When the therapist asked him why, John explained "Oh, I thought we were finished," and he took off the coat and sat down again. Shortly afterwards, the doctor touched his nose again. John again immediately stood up and put on his coat. "It's getting cold in here," he explained this time. He never knew he was unconsciously responding to a post-hypnotic suggestion.

Of course, if you think about it for a moment, you'll realize that this scenario is not unique to hypnosis. Many factors go into our decisions and actions, and we act as though we're aware of them all. Like poor John, we feel compelled to explain ourselves - and to believe our explanations. One of our strongest habits is rationalization.

Just Say 'I Don't Know'

When a child throws a plate at his brother, and his mother demands "Why would you do that!?" he says, "I don't know." It is almost certainly the honest answer, but it isn't acceptable. With hours to study the child, a pychologists


might not understand the child's action with certainty, but a six-year-old is expected to understand his behavior and have an explanation ready in seconds.

Now, he may not understand his own motivations, but he quickly understands that an explanation is expected. As a result, by adulthood, it is rare for any of us to say "I don't know" when asked about our behavior. We instantly explain. This is a problem, isn't it? How can we learn the true causes if we already accept our rationalizations?

Perhaps a better approach is to get in the habit of saying "I don't know." For the sake of our own comfort, we could follow with "Maybe it's because of..." and let the explanations spill out, as long as we aren't too quick to accept any of them. We need to understand that it isn't always necessary to explain.

Suppose, for example, that you are avoiding a ertain person, and don't really know why. Isn't it better to leave the question open than to accept a false explanation based on a habit of self-justification? If you leave questions unanswered, you may someday have a better understanding. Quick answers mean a quick stop in your thinking.

Self-explanation can be the opposite of self-understanding. Maybe it's time to learn to accept our ignorance, and to start observing ourselves. Just say, "I don't know," to break the habit of rationalization.

About the author:

Steve Gillman writes on many topics including brainpower, weight loss, meditation, habits of mind, creative problem solving, generating luck and anything related to self improvement. Learn more and get FREE e-courses at http://www.SelfImproveme ntNow.com

 

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