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But I Bought All The Books And Tapes, And I’m Still Unhappy!
I love this quote by Zig Ziglar, and think it’s a perfect introduction to this article: “People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing- that's why we recommend it daily.” The same thing can be said for all the different...
Individualistic Sucess Models
In individualistic success models, success is not due to the individual’s relationship with his external environment or place in society, but, rather, a matter of individual accomplishment or, in some cases, a measure of his relationship with...
Menopause, Just What Is It?
Just what is this thing called menopause? And what does it have to do with you? Simply stated, menopause is a biological event that marks the end of a woman’s menses and hence her natural reproductive cycle. Perimenopause is defined as the period...
Mind Power Expert Gives One Easy Key To Your Internet Fortune
Do you want to build an online business? Do you want to have a better love life? Do you want to improve yourself?
I recently interviewed my friend Tellman Knudson, an expert in helping people make rapid (sometimes instantaneous) changes to...
Tai Chi Breathing Reduces Residual Air in Ineffective Retention Space
Breathing is the source of life: if breathing stops, do does life. On average, an adult breathe 16-18 times per minutes , each time about 500ml of air exchanged in the lungs. When breathing in from the outside air, oxygen content is about 21%...
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Rationalization
Rationalization: "The devising of self-satisfying but false
reasons for one's behavior." Sometimes we don't know why we do
what we do, and perhaps such ignorance is okay, or should be.
Our temptation is always to explain, but that often does nothing
useful. In fact, it can just get in the way of actual
understanding.
Rationalization - A Clinical Example
When John went to the hypno-therapist, he was hypnotised, and
given the post-hypnotic instruction to get up and put on his
coat whenever the therapist touched his nose. Once he was out of
the trance, they began to talk. The therapist scratched his nose
at some point in the conversation, and John immediately stood up
and put on his coat.
When the therapist asked him why, John explained "Oh, I thought
we were finished," and he took off the coat and sat down again.
Shortly afterwards, the doctor touched his nose again. John
again immediately stood up and put on his coat. "It's getting
cold in here," he explained this time. He never knew he was
unconsciously responding to a post-hypnotic suggestion.
Of course, if you think about it for a moment, you'll realize
that this scenario is not unique to hypnosis. Many factors go
into our decisions and actions, and we act as though we're aware
of them all. Like poor John, we feel compelled to explain
ourselves - and to believe our explanations. One of our
strongest habits is rationalization.
Just Say 'I Don't Know'
When a child throws a plate at his brother, and his mother
demands "Why would you do that!?" he says, "I don't know." It is
almost certainly the honest answer, but it isn't acceptable.
With hours to study the child, a pychologists
might not
understand the child's action with certainty, but a six-year-old
is expected to understand his behavior and have an explanation
ready in seconds.
Now, he may not understand his own motivations, but he quickly
understands that an explanation is expected. As a result, by
adulthood, it is rare for any of us to say "I don't know" when
asked about our behavior. We instantly explain. This is a
problem, isn't it? How can we learn the true causes if we
already accept our rationalizations?
Perhaps a better approach is to get in the habit of saying "I
don't know." For the sake of our own comfort, we could follow
with "Maybe it's because of..." and let the explanations spill
out, as long as we aren't too quick to accept any of them. We
need to understand that it isn't always necessary to explain.
Suppose, for example, that you are avoiding a ertain person, and
don't really know why. Isn't it better to leave the question
open than to accept a false explanation based on a habit of
self-justification? If you leave questions unanswered, you may
someday have a better understanding. Quick answers mean a quick
stop in your thinking.
Self-explanation can be the opposite of self-understanding.
Maybe it's time to learn to accept our ignorance, and to start
observing ourselves. Just say, "I don't know," to break the
habit of rationalization.
About the author:
Steve Gillman writes on many topics including brainpower,
weight loss, meditation, habits of mind, creative problem
solving, generating luck and anything related to self
improvement. Learn more and get FREE e-courses at http://www.SelfImproveme
ntNow.com
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