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8 Keys to Lasting Love
Copyright 2005 Dr. Linda Miles Ph.D.
My granddaughter, Merritt Miles, was the inspiration for this CD, 8 Keys to Lasting Love . When Merritt was five years old I read a fairy tale to her and was very disturbed by the ending, "And they lived...
Create and Maintain a Conscious Love Relationship
Create and Maintain a Conscious Love Relationship
Robert Elias Najemy
Part 1 of a 3 part series
We present you with a brief outline of some basic points necessary to tend to in order to create a harmonious and loving relationship.
INNER...
Is a good bargain worth paying for?
Most of us love a bargain. But is it the joy of the chase or the joy of the purchase that really motivates us? Is a bargain hunt without all the trappings of hard work, negotiation, bluff and counter bluff any fun at all?
I hate to bargain....
The War on Women
Merovingian/Secret Society Rituals: One of my fellow researchers on a site I have been involved with for a few years knows a lot more about genetics than I do. He says healthy genes have polarity that is harmonically tuned and this fits with many...
What is Coaching? What Do Coaches Do?
In a relatively new field with few barriers to entry, there are a lot of questions. Is coaching some kind of therapy by another name? Is it like talking to your best friend? Why would someone hire a coach? What do you use a coach for? What might a...
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take the child's perspective
Over 90 per cent of American parents rely on physical punishment to correct children’s behavior, according to The Journal of Sociology. 1999. That statistic scares me. I’d like every parent or person in a position of trust to take the child’s perspective before you impose physical punishment. How would feel if you were only three feet tall and an adult was looming over you, yelling, screaming, and swinging their hands in your direction? Consider the fear this could instill. Imagine the confusion as the person who is supposed to nurture you, and provide you with safety, imposes some level of inescapable pain on you. Would you scream, cry, act out, or run away? We should ask ourselves, “What are we teaching children by imposing physical punishment?” I see a moral paradox in teaching a child not to hit by hitting them or teaching them not to scream by yelling at them. One of the most trying times in many parents day is bedtime. Parents seem to think that children should automatically fall asleep. Perhaps paddling or shouting will intimidate them enough to “shut up and go to sleep” when it’s not automatic. Take the child’s perspective. Have you ever had insomnia? Would getting slapped out of frustration convince you to fall asleep? Have you ever tossed and turned all
night? Do you sleep well when you’re scared? Children are no different. Adults have options to help them get to sleep. Children are required to lay in bed, quiet and still whether they are tired or not. Eventually, they’ll sleep but consider the trauma they may experience in the process. Behavioral psychology teaches that rewarding positive behavior is more effective than punishing undesirable behavior. Developmental psychology has found soothing sounds, calm environments, and structure positively impact behavior. Stop punishing and start rewarding. Figure out what you want your children to do and reward them for it. Rewards can be complimenting and praising them, small pieces of candy, time spent playing a favorite game, time spent watching a favorite television show, or anything else special to the child. Acknowledge them as children who are loved and nurtured. High energy, breaking things, not paying attention, spilling things, running wild and being loud are part of being a child. Children are not miniature adults and shouldn’t be expected to act like adults.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Darrin F. Coe holds a master's degree in professional psychology and is the father of two pre-school boys. contact at http://dcoe1.tripod.com
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Encyclopedia of Psychology - Psychology Websites |
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Classics in the History of Psychology |
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