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10 Steps to Happily Ever After
Do you know what all happy and healthy marriages have in common? In every one of them you will find two people committed to making each other happy. You will find a man who cherishes his wife and puts her needs above his own, and you will find a...
Happiness and Work: Your Life Depends On It
Early one morning, Robert awoke, made his wife of 41 years some banana bread, took out the garbage and called to cancel a doctors appointment scheduled for the next day. He wrote a note to remind his wife to pick up the dry cleaning. All things...
How to Get and Maintain a Great/Positive Attitude to Life (Part One)
"Attitudes are the colours with which we paint the pictures of our own
story on the canvas of life." - Craig Lock and my great buddy, Dr Andrew Eastcott Gisborne, New Zealand
WHERE DO YOUR ATTITUDES COME FROM?
I believe that heredity (the...
Making A Difference
Cancer. Just the word brings fear into the heart of whoever hears it. Unfortunately, the chances are high that at some point in each of our lives, we will be affected by cancer. We may suffer from it ourselves, or we may have a friend or a loved...
Sex or Gender
Alan Pease, author of a book titled "Why Men Don't Listen and Women Can't Read Maps", believes that women are spatially-challenged compared to men. The British firm, Admiral Insurance, conducted a study of half a million claims. They found that...
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take the child's perspective
Over 90 per cent of American parents rely on physical punishment to correct children’s behavior, according to The Journal of Sociology. 1999. That statistic scares me. I’d like every parent or person in a position of trust to take the child’s perspective before you impose physical punishment. How would feel if you were only three feet tall and an adult was looming over you, yelling, screaming, and swinging their hands in your direction? Consider the fear this could instill. Imagine the confusion as the person who is supposed to nurture you, and provide you with safety, imposes some level of inescapable pain on you. Would you scream, cry, act out, or run away? We should ask ourselves, “What are we teaching children by imposing physical punishment?” I see a moral paradox in teaching a child not to hit by hitting them or teaching them not to scream by yelling at them. One of the most trying times in many parents day is bedtime. Parents seem to think that children should automatically fall asleep. Perhaps paddling or shouting will intimidate them enough to “shut up and go to sleep” when it’s not automatic. Take the child’s perspective. Have you ever had insomnia? Would getting slapped out of frustration convince you to fall asleep? Have you ever tossed and turned all
night? Do you sleep well when you’re scared? Children are no different. Adults have options to help them get to sleep. Children are required to lay in bed, quiet and still whether they are tired or not. Eventually, they’ll sleep but consider the trauma they may experience in the process. Behavioral psychology teaches that rewarding positive behavior is more effective than punishing undesirable behavior. Developmental psychology has found soothing sounds, calm environments, and structure positively impact behavior. Stop punishing and start rewarding. Figure out what you want your children to do and reward them for it. Rewards can be complimenting and praising them, small pieces of candy, time spent playing a favorite game, time spent watching a favorite television show, or anything else special to the child. Acknowledge them as children who are loved and nurtured. High energy, breaking things, not paying attention, spilling things, running wild and being loud are part of being a child. Children are not miniature adults and shouldn’t be expected to act like adults.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Darrin F. Coe holds a master's degree in professional psychology and is the father of two pre-school boys. contact at http://dcoe1.tripod.com
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Encyclopedia of Psychology - Psychology Websites |
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Psychology - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia |
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American Psychological Association |
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Intute: Social Sciences - Psychology |
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Psychology Today: Find a Therapist and News to Use |
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Social Psychology Network |
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Open Directory - Science: Social Sciences: Psychology |
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Stanford Psychology Department |
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APS Psychologist: Home |
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Classics in the History of Psychology |
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Internet Public Library: Psychology |
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PsychCrawler |
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